We might be through with the past....

I called in sick yesterday since I didn't feel too good. I got like 3 miles away from work, but really didn't feel like going so called the boss, and told her I was sick. I really am... though the pain is in more ways than one. I ended up chatting with a fellow blogger and that made me feel better. Once that was done, ate, then plopped in the couch and cried through Magnolia. The movie didn't hit me the first time, but yesterday was a completely different story. It hit home really close due to some things I'm dealing with. Anyway, here's a pic (pardon the jackets!) I took when talking to a fellow blogger. Appreciate the convo!

"We might be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us."

God please forgive Her...

Yea, this really isn't a post. I'm not sure where my mind is at the moment. Some of you know what's going on but maybe one day, I can explain it all. Anyway, one comment about this "found" made me chuckle.. "You have to have a license to fish...but any idiot can be a parent." The letter was heartbreaking though..

It's whatever you choose....

I figured from now on, I'll start to put in a quotation or some sort of devotion that has helped me go through the hard times. Or even, some sort of reminder so that I will never forget where I came from, and all the things I've learned in this journey called life. (I have a bunch of books and keep a sheet of paper where I write down the pages that just stirs something in me. I don't highlight the pages ever, or if I do, it's only because I have two copies of the book.) Anyway, here's one of them:

Life will accommodate you in any way that you choose. Life is always listening to the silent requests of your heart and mind. Life is always surveying the landscape of your heart, gathering the bits and pieces of the emotions buried there. Life is always monitoring the activity of your tongue, checking for ruins and sacred elements. Life knows that your mind, heart and mouth will produce the requests of your consciousness even when you are not aware of it.

Life can be an open book through which you can learn about great mysteries and wonders. Or life can be a mysterious and frightening pit through which you fear to tread. Or life can be an open basket into which you can place your treasures, in which you can carry abundant blessings. Or life can be a locked trunk from which you can retrieve or receive nothing. Life can be a journey or a struggle. A paradise or a prison. A calm sea or a turbulent ocean. It's all up to you. Life will accommodate whatever you choose, exactly the way you choose. And, whether or not you believe it, what you have in your life right now is a function of your own requests! Some of those requests you made openly. Others you made silently. Doesn't matter! Life is very accommodating, and the minute your requests change, your life will follow suit.

Until today, you may not have realized that life is answering your requests. You may not have believed that you have the power and the right to ask life for more than you already have right now. Just for today, be devoted to creating a list of positive, joyful requests. Create them first in your mind. Next, create them in your heart. Then speak them into existence. Be sure to remember what you have created. If it does not show up, check your counterrequests.

Until Today!
by Iyanla Vanzant

Kept my pants on

Well Saturday came and went and I ended up not going to the No Pants 2k here in DC. Ah well, laziness kicked in a bit and I ended up just staying home. Ah well, if there's one next time, then I would consider. It got me to sign up for Facebook though, so you know what to do if you're in it (I already have you added Robert!!) Ended up hanging out with our neighbor. Then later on that evening, went out to Lucky Strike and tried to go bowling. They won't let N- (next to V- in the pic) in though since he was wearing Timberland boots so we ended up stopping by our house so he can borrow my shoes. Went back, but by the time we got there, there was queue to get in to the bowling alley and the wait would have to be 4 - 5 hrs according to the guy that worked there. We were all supposed to meet at 8, and the other V- (the girl next to me in the previous pic). She was waiting on her daughter to get home which never happened :( So we ended up just going to Thai Chili in Chinatown, me, C-, N- and his gf. A good time was had by all, well I would hope so hehe, but it was nice to just sit down and have a chat. If you ever find yourself in the area, Thai Chili's the place to go!

Sunday, the bf took me to see Shear Madness at the Kennedy Center. This play was a riot. Reminded me of Strangers with Candy with their play of words, LOVE IT! Good thing I didn't yell out 'Girl Power!' when they mentioned the Spice Girls. The ending was such a shocker, who would have thunk...Thanks again kiddo!

Aside from that, I enrolled to some classes and started school today. I'll be taking 9 credits so if I do well, I'll try to pursue my studies full-time eventually. It's just something that I wanna be able to have done after putting it off for a few years now. It just felt like something always comes up, but I'm not holding anyone responsible but me. These were my actions and nobody else's but anyway like they say, it's never too late unless you're dead. I got close to actually not showing up to work EVER depending on how Friday would go, and it went well so here I am. The job's been really great so far, casual Fridays, free meals once a week, a really laid back team, I'm loving it. It's such an irony that this whole time, I hated folks who carries a blackberry around , and now yours truly has become one of them.

Anyway, a little quote for today: It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy

See me pantless!!?

Thanks to Rey, I was reminded about Improv Everywhere. I thoght it was a neat idea, and I remember being hysterics about the Redheads that protested Wendy's. Well, well, there's actually a No Pants 2k8 for Washington DC and I think I might go after all. Per Rey "the flashmob event that happens annually where an organized group of people get on the subway, take off their pants" and keep a straight face for the whole ride. Details are here, I'm seriously thinking about doing it.

New beginning

It was this time last year that I started working at my current job. I think I might have mentioned recently that I put my resume up on various sites just to test the waters, and see what the reaction will be. It was pretty good I'd have to say since come next week, I'll be working at a different job. I just kept it hush-hush at the old job though, and it's mostly the people I was closest to that knew about it. Everything really happened too quick. The interviewing, the hiring process, and of course, starting the new job after the holidays. I definitely will miss the USM however. Not so much the work, but the helpdesk folks I worked with and some of the folks I've gotten to know the year that I was there. I find myself crying on some days, I guess just with the thought of not getting to be there anymore. Granted I brought this change upon myself, but still it's always bittersweet when change happens.

This is a group pic taken on our Christmas party (I got permission to keep their faces on this pic). It's us three at the bottom, N-, V- and I that really clicked so it made the workdays bearable at least. We'd laugh about the little things, about the customers, the questions that we get, and in some instances, in each other's expense. It was all for good fun though. I'll really miss them and I hope I'll get to see them every once in a while at least.

Another person I've become fond of is Ms Ver- that works at HR. I came by her office and told her just this past week, and she was shocked about it as well. She actually got teary hearing about it, which made me cry in the process. She's sorta become like a mother to me, I ended up crying at her office once when I wasn't able to hold some things in any longer. During that time, I really haven't blogged much since I was trying to keep positive on the things I write about, forgetting the fact that I use this blog as an outlet. Anyway, it was still a surprise since I didn't think I'd be that vulnerable to someone who barely knows me. But I think it did us both good since we were able to be more open about things. I even let her in to the fact that I'm gay and everything, and she said she could have cared less about it. Friday, she took me out to lunch which was a nice gesture. She's trying to get me to go back to the USM already, and I haven't even left! But will see how everything goes in the future.....

I used this lines (took some parts out) from The Office around this time last year and I'm glad it came true in a sense, and here's hoping that it'll happen again for the next one, and the one after....

"The people you work with are people you were just thrown together with. I mean, you don't know them, it wasn't your choice. And yet you spend more time with them than you do your friends or your family. But probably all you have in common is the fact that you walk around on the same bit of carpet for eight hours a day. And so obviously, when someone comes in who you have a connection with it can mean a lot. But if I'm really being honest, I never really thought it would have a happy ending. I don't know what a happy ending is. Life isn't about endings, is it? It's a series of moments."

Guess that's it for now. Just having a hard time sleeping so thought I'd write a bit. So much has happened, but that'll be all I'm writing for now. Have met a fellow blogger, D-Man, and his partner this month and it was great, I feel honored they spent just about every weekend they were here hanging out with me. It really means a lot just getting to hang out and talk to them, getting to know them more in the flesh, no less! Thought I'd just throw that out there, just in case I didn't get to tell them how much it meant.

I confess...

Confession
Okay Rob! I know it's waaaay overdue but sometimes I forget that I get tagged with memes. But here goes...

--
Taken a picture completely naked? Yeeeeeah! But it's been deleted years ago.
Made out with a friend on your MySpace/Facebook page? Nope.
Danced in front of your mirror naked? Yea, when I'm getting dressed sometimes after showering
Told a lie? Yes. Who hasn't really!? I know, it's not something to be proud of.....
Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Yeah, when I just first started dating guys. There was this one guy who was in Tokyo and he never saw me again. It hoit, I got drunk and was the talk at work since it was unusual for me to do that
Been arrested? Yes
Made out with someone of the same sex? Pretty much all I've done
Seen someone die? Yes. He was a carpenter I was friends with when I was young. He got himself tangled in a live wire
Slept in until 5pm? I'm sure I did cuz I worked night shift for a while
Had sex at work? Naww.
Fallen asleep at work/school? Yep.
Held a snake? Umm, no and doubt I will anytime soon
Ran a red light? I probably have and not realize it
Been suspended from school? No.
Totaled your car in an accident? No.
Pole danced? No, the occassion hasn't happened yet. I haven't even gone to a strip bar sooo...
Smoked? Nope, the family smoked so vowed I wouldn't
Danced? Of course. In private and IN PUBLIC. Yea, I give in to pressure *grins
Been fired from a job? No.
Sang karaoke? Yes, when I was in Japan and the Philippines last year.
Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Oh of course.
Laughed until a drink came out your nose? Actually, I threw up from laughing too hard in 6th grade
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? I don't think I have
Kissed in the rain? No
Sang in the shower? Of course
Given your private parts a nickname? Hmm, no. Just never gave it much thought
Ever gone out without underwear? Yes.
Sat on a roof top? Yes.
Played chicken? Play as in "choke"? So many times, it's prolly up in the thousands *teehee
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? No
Broken a bone? Popped one? Yes. Bent one? Yes. Broke one? Yep, I fell off of a tree and landed on my right arm
Mooned/flashed someone? No and no.
Shaved your head? Many times.
Slept naked? Yes. When I was too tired after.....
Played a prank on someone? I would have to say yes. I've done unto others what others have done unto me
Had a gym membership? Yes. I have yet to use it consistently
Felt like killing someone? I'm sure I have
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? Yes
Cried over someone you were in love with? I don't think so. I got drunk, but don't think I cried
Had sex more than 10 times in one day? No.
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? Nope. Not sure what they are to be honest
Been in a band? No.
Subscribed to Maxim? Nope.
Taken more than 10 shots of alcohol? I probably have. I blacked out eventually so I must have
Shot a gun? Yes
Had sex today? No
Played strip poker? I'd have to say no, I don't even know how to play poker
Tripped on mushrooms? No.
Donated Blood? No
Video taped yourself having sex? No. I just don't see this happening. This is a blackmailing material waiting to happen
Eaten alligator meat? No. Frog legs? No.
Ever jump out of an airplane? No.
Have you been to more than 10 countries? No.
Ever wanted to have sex with a platonic friend? Yes.
Five bloggers you're tagging that you don't know how much you like their blogs? I don't fully get this question but I'm tagging Cesar, JohnMichael, Jon, Arkano, and Steve