Job

Are you supposed to like it??

Suddenly Monday

It's close to Monday night and I'm just here sitting at work reading up on blogs here and there while everybody else got a day off. Should be training but not on a downday as we call it. We've gotten five phone calls at the most since I came on shift at 11, instead of 7 am.

I got sick on Friday but was pretty much out and about the whole day. I needed to get a car inspected before I can get the state sticker for my car and kinda had it planned out Thursday night. Was gonna get up before 8 am so I can go to a auto center to get it inspected. Well I did wake up early, but got online and got stuck talking on the messenger for an hour or so lol. Then, still needed to take a shower and have breakfast so didn't get to leave til about 10. Is it just optimism or stupidity that I think I'll just be able to waltz in and out of places I need to get things done with. So headed out to the first garage on my list, which took a while for me to find, being new to the area. Went on the wrong exit and was driving out 15 mins before I realized I'd made a huge mistake. Finally got there, and I was told they were full for the day so perhaps, I can come back Tuesday. I have a stubborn streak at times, and if I wanna get something done, I'll get it done as when I planned it damnit.

I just decided to go back home, stopping by one more garage on the way. And my luck! The mechanic just had to leave right when I got there since he had some teeth problems and was told maybe Tuesday, they'll have slots open perhaps since it's a first come, first serve. So made my way home, and got changed too since it was colder than I expected it to be. Found one garage that had slots after two phone calls so that was good. Had to mapquest it, and got to the place in about 10 mins. The mechanic that inspected my car is really cool. It's crazy that he's worked on and off of that garage for 50 years. First when he was in the 7th grade, then he joined the military and did a stint in Asia, then back in the same base I am assigned to, worked part time with the same garage. Then retired, and has worked ever since since around the late 70's. Crazyyyyy. Which reminds me that I really need to know cars a little bit more, well a lot more than I do now.

So that was over it, so it made me feel like I accomplished something for the day. I went back home and ended up taking a nap since I didn't feel so good. Found out too that touring Rent will be performing about 20 minutes from where I lived. Really considering going all day, Saturday but ended up just staying in to get better.

That gave me time to finally finish the Road Home (heard it through Robert) which was a nice movie. It was from the son's narration that you get to learn about his parent's love story which was really touching. That is just pure love right there!

Then, saw Transamerica as well which got me crying a little. It's a download but hey you gotta do what you gotta do. It was a touching movie, that got me laughing in some parts of the film.




and funny how I feel better than when I had to go back to work.

You Wouldn't Like Me

(Not something I wrote but kinda sums up how I get at times)

There's a war inside of me
Do I cause new heartbreak to write a new broken song
Do I push it down or let it run me right into the ground
I feel like I wouldn't like me if I met me
Well I can't stop talking for fear of listening to unwelcome sound
And you haven't called me in weeks and honestly it's bringing me down
I feel like I wouldn't like me if I met me
I feel like you wouldn't like me if you met me
And don't you worry there's still time
There's nothing to live for when I'm sleeping alone
And I wash the windows outside in hopes that the glare will bring you around
Sunshine is days away I won't be saved I know all the words
I can't say that I'll love you forever
I won't say that I'll love you forever

by Tegan and Sara

I miss them

I'm missing my family. Seeing their pictures made me happysad (had to steal that Rob hehe) It's amazing sometimes, family, considering some I have yet to meet. Inspite of, you still love them and hold them dear to your heart.

With me being on leave (vacation) for close to 45 days, I had enough time in my hands to actually meet my father's side of the family. I figured 22 yrs would be enough of not seeing them, so I saw them in South Carolina, on my way to Virginia coming from Florida. I seriously considered just driving through their town and not showing up lol. I got real nervous when I got down to about 20 mins away from their house. I got there and it was just my Grandma that was home so I guess that was kinda good. I would have just been eeeeek if there were tons of people to meet I'm sure. Being a people person and not at the same time, does that make sense? They're family and all but still :D

I'm at work right now, so a bit hard to sit still and write this whole thing. Maybe tonight, but then again so I won't forget the point, it pretty much comes down to make sure to tell your family you love them, especially if they're near. You'd probably think "They know that already!" It's still a nice feeling to hear that reaffirmation....that they're loved, coz action doesn't always speak louder than words.

New Beginning

Grrrr, firefox froze on me and now I gotta start over. Am able to access the net through somebody's wireless connection so kinda cool I guess.

Moved in to the apartment Friday and has spent the past two days grabbing things here and there to kinda get situated to my new home for the next year at the most, if I ended up not liking it here in Virginia. Past two weeks has a been a bit rough, trying to get around looking for a place to live and not knowing anybody. There's a guy that was assgined to kinda take me around and everything, but he didn't call after my first day at the job when he showed me around so hmmm.. Dunno if I just got too stubborn telling myself not to ask the guy for help at all, since if he wanted to he could have offered but he didn't. Guess that's good in a sense, kinda got forced to "grow up" 72 hrs after getting here. Things are starting to look up now, methinks so figured this as a better time to start posting again. Just had a lot of stuff going through my head.

Will finally report back to work tomorrow which I'm kinda excited about, and yet not at the same time. I've been on some sort of break for the past two and a half months and starting working again would probably be a bit of a shock. Twelve-hour shifts nonetheless, whether it be days or nights, I've yet to find out. It'll be good though, that way I finally get to meet my coworkers to be. Just hoping they don't have me start doing twelves til next week. Am not even sure I'm quite ready for 8-hrs of work as it is, haha. Kinda looking forward to it though that way, I can try to make friends with some peeps at work, since has kinda relied on Craig (slist) at the moment. Has met two people through it though will probably be friends more with the girl than the guy. I've hang out with the guy twice but I dunno, it's just been a bit weird this past week.

Living room's furnished already after finding a good deal online. Had to drive out an hour away to pick 'em up but at least now, it feels a bit homey after just being here for three days. I think I want a roommate.

London town II

Daniel and I eventually settled on a tube station to meet, after looking up the stops on the site and much texting back and forth. Being in the library has calmed me down a little. I really was trying to push off of the bad feeling considering I'm in bleeping London.

Debating where to go since we really didn't want to waste the day. Ended up settling with Cambridge since London was just a bit painful to go to after the cancelled meet. Cambridge was about a 60-mins or so drive from the town that we're at. So we got there, and went to Nando's which is a Portuguese restaurant. Food was real good, though I only had spiced chicken and rice along with a free drink for first-timers at Nando's. So just walked around Cambridge pretty much and stopped by the mall for a little while. Browsing through the music store, and ended up buying a book which I've kinda been meaning to get for quite sometime. A behind the scenes look on the business side of how the Spice Girls reinvented pop back in the 90's. Did I mention I was a fan? So yeah, ended up buying it at 60 % off. It got me thinking though, about the whole things happen for a reason that people say. I dunno, if the meet/date or whatever was to be cancelled just so I'd be able to find this book hmmm.. That's a bit lame lol since I could have ordered the book online. So ended up just going back to the house, and reading the whole night. Yep, waay to spend a night in England eh.

Thursday - The day finally rolled around though it wasn't a good feeling I had when I woke up. Not getting to see Daniel yesterday really got me frustrated and got me questioning about the whole trip. Laying in bed thinking if I should even bother going through with the whole meeting up thing. I even considered of just packing my stuff up and heading to a hostel around London until I fly out of the country. It is good getting to see my friend Jim, but it just didn't seem like it was enough. I just wanted to leave everything behind and be in company of strangers since the whole cancelling thing really pissed me off, if it hasn't been obvious.

Looking back I can't pinpoint what helped to kinda change my mood for the day since all I remember now was showering, then us driving to base to get gas and grab something to eat. So we left the base and headed out to the station so I can catch the tube, along with our lunch. During this drive was the only time I got nervous about meeting up with Daniel, mixed with excitement that FINALLY, we'll get to meet, a day after the planned date (the time to meet, not the other thing called 'date'. It's not really a date now, is it?) So we finally arrived at Redbridge where I'm gonna have to catch a ride to Shadwell station which is 2 zones away from each other.

The meet up time was at 4 pm but I didn't get to catch one until around 3:30 pm. So was just thinking, heh, I should be able to make it on time. Well 4 pm rolls around and am still on the Central line just approaching Bank station. And from there, would have to switch to Docklands Light Railway (DLR) to get to Shadwell. Well with two suitcases, weighing about 20 kilos each, it was a bit of a struggle having to walk up and down the stairs to get to the other line I had to catch. Finally got to Shadwell, feeling not so fresh after all these damn walking, around 4:15 . Got off the railway, and was gonna start descending down a flight of stairs, until one girl mentioned that I can just use the elevator. Wheeew! (It was actually the girl that I smiled at during the ride, so note * smiling really does make a difference)

Finally got on the first floor after the descent which seemed to take foreverrrrr. So hopped out of the elevator, and looked around the station, trying to find Daniel or someone that resembled him and nada. He was nowhere to be found. I dunno, felt a little annoyance that he could not have hang around a little longer, if he actually did come. 30 ft away from the stairs was a payphone, so went and called Jim letting him know that I got to Shadwell just fine, with no Daniel in sight. Asked him to text Daniel and mention that I'm at the train station waiting. I tried calling Daniel but only got his voicemail so just left a message on it as well. After two phone calls, I still had credit left on the payphone but I really can't get my change back. Good thing that some girl was standing, waiting to use it so I told her that she can just go ahead since I still had some credit left. She had a look on her face like if I was kidding or something. I dunno, it seems like these days, people don't expect any good thing done to them that if you act kind or corteous, they're just in shock that someone was nice to them. That made me feel good inside so I stepped aside by my luggage and was sweating and looking around trying to find a familiar face. And right when I looked at the stairs, a guy in a brown leather jacket, waved at me smiling, and all the anger from the day before just went away and all I can think of was how glad I was that I came.

London town

I would not have imagined that I'd be making a last minute trip to London out of all places. It's still one of the places I've considered going but with no rush. If this would have been (I'll admit) in the Spice Girls' heydays, I would have hopped on a plane in a record to have seen them hehe. So moving along.. I booked a 7-day trip for London to see Daniel though it wasn't 'til mid-week that I got to meet him.

So the flight to Seattle from Japan ended up being delayed for about four hours which I really didn't mind. Considering my original arrival time in Seattle would have been around 9 am , then leaving for London eight hours later at 6 pm. So that kinda did me good. Setting it back a few hours, less time to kill. Feel bad for the other passengers though, who had to take connection flights with little time in between but yeah, they would have made it sooner or later. It was funny just watching some people get real pissed about the delay. I probably would have been too if I would have missed my flight, but am not, so I can take the delay in stride. I just chuckled listening to what they were saying. Oh yeah this is about London huh..

So arrived in London on a Sunday, around 1130 with my friend Jim instead that's going to be picking me up. I was all smiling with the plane finally landing at Heathrow Airport. The flight was interesting enough since I sat next to a couple who lived and worked at the same base that I just came out of. Me and the man were talking for a bit. 'Twas funny considering I was dreading having to sit next to them since they seemed stuck up a little when I just got on. Ended up waiting for about an hour before Jim finally made it. I was getting pissed, but just kept telling myself that "Hey, you're in England now. A bit of a wait won't kill ya." And I guess the prospect of just getting to see Daniel later on was enough to keep me calm. Jim finally arrived so it was all good. It was nice getting to hang with him in person after about a year of waiting. With him moving and everything, we've mostly kept in touch through e-mails or phone calls which I usually initiated. I'll do admit I like talking on the phone though it has wreaked havoc on my wallet from time to time. But I just really didn't mind I guess, money's nothing compared to the happiness I feel whenever I talk to my loved ones whether it be family or even just friends.

So boarded on a bus that'll take us to the tube station bound for wherever Jim lives at. We made a stop midway though since we got hungry. The excitement's in full gear too considering I didn't mind having to lag around two suitcase around the train station and up the stairs to get to the street. We made a stop at Piccadilly Circus and grabbed a bite at Pizza Hut and talked for a little while. Really didn't do much for the day since we still had to go back to his house to get settled. The tube ride to where we needed to make the stop wasn't really that far. What I didn't know was that he had to drive like 90 mins to get to that said train station called Redbridge. There I was bitching to him about having to wait for an hour at the airport lol.. So ended up thanking him gladly for going through all those travelling just to pick me up.

Monday - headed out to Central London to do a little sightseeing. Got to get on a computer and ended up talking to the family for a little bit. None of the family really knew that I was making this trip and they were all expecting my phone call the previous day. I got to talk to my uncle who told me that my Aunt was there next to him, crying so ended up making a call just to actually tell her that I'm fine. My family's spread out so will just leave their whereabouts since it can be a tad confusing to others. We came by SoHo which was where the bars and clubs we're at but didn't stay since Jim got uncomfortable after some guy winked at him while we were walking.

Tuesday - the same thing pretty much. Got to see the Buckingham Palace, and had dinner at Planet Hollywood which Jim picked. Talk about acting touristy. I just went along, and it ended up alright with a cute spanish waiter and all

Wednesday - woke up all excited since this was the big day, the day that I will get to meet Daniel. Well it was good seeing Jim, but that wasn't really why I flew to London lol. So there I was, got showered and everything all smiles, thinking Yes, this is the day, this is the day. Well we had to go to base first since Jim needed to run some errands. Figured I'd text Daniel just to say hi, letting him know that I'm at Jim's as we've talked about previously to offset the cost of having to spend money on a hotel. And there was his reply back, asking how he can reach me since he needed to speak with me. Oh oh, that's not a good sign I thought and it just kinda made my excitement go away.

So dialled his number and spoke with him. Well I really didn't understand him too much on the phone except that he missed the flight for Italy that Saturday so ended up going to Oxford or some shit like that and that he got into an argument with his flatmates. I tried listening as he explained it to me some more but I think I was just real annoyed I sorta tuned out what he was saying. I really tried to be understanding coz that must have been real stressful to him as well, not getting to fly home and back, then end up having a fight with your housemates. All I can say was ok, guess we can just meet tomorrow then. Though on the inside, my mind just went through with all these thoughts and ideas. This isn't going well. Doesn't he care that I flew all the way to see him, with little rest in between, just delaying our meeting just like that. Why did I even bother with this guy.. Does he even care I came?

After the phone conversation, still had to text with him to figure out a good station for him to pick me up. So with this rage brimming inside, I had to keep calm and avoid making a snide remark even on the phone about what an idiot he is.