It's the craaabshack

The bf's actually out of town since he's attending a training for his new job. He's only in Rockville though which is 30 minutes away. The company paid for their lodging since it's a training for new employees from different regions. Dropped him off Sunday night, and managed to get lost on my way home. I ended up going through Georgetown and Dupont Circle before finally getting home. Didn't fall asleep 'til about 1 am, just thinking about things. How I've fucked up mostly in the almost three months we've been together. I say some things sometimes without first thinking it through, hurting him in the process. Not usually directed to him but things I say to other people when I get flirty.

Our weekend was good for the most part. We just lounged around the house 'til about 4 Saturday and stepped out to go to Outback since he's never been before. It was nice, we were there for a good two - three hours just sitting and talking. Touching up on when we met for the first time, things we've gone through in the past few months that sometimes it feels we've been together for a lifetime. I got close to giving up actually, twice and I guess I do get scared in a way and rather than going through the hard stuff, I tried to leave and just not deal with whatever was going on. It just seems like it was too early for us to have gone through the things we did. I'll admit I do have issues I'm dealing with, and I sense there's a change where I'm not quite who I used to be in a way. Maybe one day I can put it into words what I'm trying to say.

Sunday, we went to the Outdoor festival at Adams Morgan which was really fun. Street vendors, music playing, dancing and some art sellers. It was nice, I even ran into a friend unexpectedly which was funny. I texted her saying I'm at the festival as well. It was a few blocks at least, and I sorta didn't think I'd run into her and yet when we were going towards the end of the street, who would I see walking right past me!!? We spoke for a bit, and I introduced Cs- to her and her bf and vice versa. I didn't say bf though. We've never talked about it so it's never come up that I'm gay but she might be able to put two and two together. If she asks, I'd tell her but otherwise there just haven't been a reason to tell her. I've only seen her a few times since December and yet we've kept in contact at least.

Like I mentioned, the Cs- is in Rockville and I ended up making my way there to bring him some tee-shirts since he had business clothes but not regular ones to just relax in. At first, I was a bit upset since I sorta had the mindset that I wasn't going to be doing ANYTHING, not one thing. I could have seen my mom but I didn't since I needed some alone time. While at the house, was listening to Annie Lennox and seeing her perform No More I Love You's, got me crying a bit. Some songs just do that to me. So I took a shower and made my way to Rockville. During the drive though, listened to more upbeat songs so that changed my mood. That, and texting back and forth to my friend Jim who's in Florida. He makes me laugh.

I got to Gaithersburg where they went for dinner, and met up with Cs- at Joe's Crabshack. At first, I was just gonna drop his things off and drive right back but he said how I should stop by and have a drink or something at least. I ended up saying yes since it really couldn't hurt if I do. I was a bit nervous since he had a guy and a girl from training with him, Dg- and Cml-. After a while though, I eased up and got into the conversations. The first thing they told me upon sitting down at the table was that they were talking about me, and in my head I just went "Oh shit." Somehow when I hear that, I automatically assume bad things were said about me which actually isn't the case. We sat there and just talked about random things. Cs- is good in steering the convo, and I guess when I ease up, I do okay. It was fun, we talked abou relationships, work, commercials, and the wonders of iPhone which by the way is amazing. I might give in eventually but right now, I'm alright with the phone I got. I was saying how us four should get together again even when they start their jobs which will be nice. Cs- later told me they thought I was a cool guy so glad about that. He told them that I told him they were fun and that we should hang out. Yay :)

After eating, we just went back to the hotel and talked while sorta watching Food Network. I stayed 'til about 9:30 pm since I wanted to go get some rest. Bid goodnight, and ended up sitting in the car with Cs- and just talked for a bit. Drove home, that if after managing to get lost and freaking out a bit since the gas was close to running empty. I made it home though whew and really didn't get to clean like I was kinda hoping to do. It was a good day over all and am glad how it ended on a good note.

Oh, I also got some prints of pictures when we stayed overnight by a bay in California back in 2003 when I just joined the Air Force. I took a week off to try to get my license but of course, I didn't :P It was my first time getting to have roasted marshmallows. The pictures just make me smile, and with some it made me say Wow, I really look like my dad since I really don't think we do, despite of being told otherwise by just about every people we've met.

Well, I went over my lunchtime by half an hour hehe. Toodles and have a good Tuesday!