8 years today!

*breathes heavily. It's nice to finally just take a breather here at work. It's just been busy since this week started and I'm really close to just throwing in the towel. I put out my resume once again, and trying to see what's out there. It's kinda crazy that this time last year I sorta was in the same boat, getting ready to leave the military, and start my life as a civilian. There are times where I considered going back in but it's probably not gonna happen. I just miss the camarederie sometimes, and all the higher ups looking out for me (well mine certainly did). They really went out of their way to take care of any needs I had whether it be moving to an apartment off base so my mom can stay with me, or even offering to move me to a different position if I was unhappy with what I was doing. But that's about it, it just seems there's too much BS to deal with, and to be told what to do in pretty much most aspects of my life kinda got to me. Either way, I'm thankful for the experience.

Well, I turned 8 yesterday!! Okay, you're probably thinking like huh!? Well, let me splain. It was exactly 8 yrs ago that I made the move to the US, and started out a new life per say and it's been my our running joke (my dad and I) that we started to count my age after coming here. Sometimes I just sit in awe and gets boggled with how all those years have been. It's hard to believe sometimes when at one point, I really gave up on getting to come here. It wasn't even so much to live here, the main thing was getting to see my dad again since I was maybe 3 yrs old. I've written a lengthy history but really don't feel like linking and stuff.

Thanksgiving came and went but that day, things weren't exactly alright, not that I'm saying it is now, but it was a struggle a little to come up with things to be thankful for. It really shouldn't be forced but today, I've got that feeling and hence this post. These 8 years has been a learning experience for me, not that it ever stops. But things I've seen and done, people I've met and crossed paths with, all I hold dearly in my heart. Even just a simple act that they might not even realize, it could have been something simple as a smile, or a conversation, or a lift to the post office when I needed a ride, it all made a difference to me. Some of those people, I probably would never see again but regardless of that, they've touched my life and I'll never be the same again because of it.

I'll admit in my early years, there were times I considered just ending it all since life got to be too much. Of course in life, you can't always have all joy and happiness. Sometimes going through pain and suffering might be necessary since without them, how would we get to appreciate all the good things that happen to us. I'm glad I didn't and just held on to the idea that there's always tomorrow, and that everything will be fine. Though sometimes that tomorrow might take days, weeks, months or even years for some, but regardless things do work out. Easier said than done since I'll admit, sometimes it's hard to see past through what's happening and try to find the lesson in it. Either way, things happen and we just have to find whatever it might be that would get us through the day.

I don't think I would have traded this for anything else, and I'm glad I got to see this day. All I know is that at this point in my life, this is where I exactly needed to be. Asto why, maybe the answer might come, it might never but it's all part of the process. I'll know when it's time for me to know, and for now I'm alright with that.

I'm grateful to my family who's always been there for me, my parents of course, which I'll always love in my way and not what they think I should love them, to C- for being with me eventhough I can be quite difficult (well sometimes), and for all my friends, near and afar, including my blogger friends. My life is richer with you all in it, I can attest to that. To the ones I've met, aren't you lucky you met me? hahaha! To the ones I haven't met, it'll happen *grins . To these people, thank you for seeing the good in me when I can't see it myself.

All these coming from an 8-yr old...