Almost midnight

Wow, I mixed pineapple and bourbon and I'm feeling it now. I wanted to get a buzz since I only drink here and there and miss the warmth it gives my body. Things have been alright for the most part....

It's not definite whether our contract at work will get renewed or what, so I put out my resume to get a feel of the responses. People have called so guess that's a relief. I have yet to call any back but wrote all their information down already. I applied to some county and government jobs though I know those will take a while. Keeping my hopes up since those are more stable than contract positions. With the current job, I didn't know the contract was up for rebidding this Sept, if I had known, I'm not sure if I would have taken it in the first place but I guess you live and learn.

It was actually Pride the previous weekend but really didn't go to any events. We went out Friday night but I didn't feel too well the next day so stayed home mostly. I looked at some apartments in the morning, but had to stop midday since I felt sick. Might have been due to not drinking enough water. Sunday, C- and I looked at some places and put in an application to two places. Approved on one but still waiting on the other one that we initially wanted. The second one just had an odd floor plan. Right when you walk in, that's where the 'dining room' would be so would be blocking your path to the living room soo hmm, but will see. Here's its floor plan

It was Father's day that day too and after not having heard from my dad since that day in April I told him I was gay, I sent a text message wishing him a Happy Father's Day. His response: "TKS MAN...GIVE ME A MOMENT...UR NEWS TOOK ME FOR A LOOP" After that, I just didn't respond back and will just leave things and give him some space. He knows how to reach me. That's about it really.

Aside from that, still working on making some friends here in the area. I dunno but it just seems like it's a lot harder when you're older. Granted I have a bf, it's still different to have friends to shoot the shit the breeze with and talk things with, ya know!? It's like sometimes you can't help not to think if there's something wrong with you? People say you're funny, sweet yada yada but at the same time, great that doesn't do me any good since no one sticks around to be my friend. Pardon my venting but I just miss having a core set of friends like I did when I was younger. It just gets frustrating on some days that you can't help not to wonder. All the friends I made in the military are spread out in different states so that can only do so much. I need some in the flesh, someone I can just call up and say 'Meet me here.' Anywho, I know it's not doing me any good just writing about it. I've posted on craigslist, did volunteer but nothing but I'm gonna keep trying. In life, there should be balance and it just feels like I'm lacking in the friendship department.. Ugh, I hate when I get contemplative. I think about things too much.

Granted I'm grateful for what I have now, but there's always room for improvement. Goodnight and goodbye.