Am I the only one who knows who this band is?
This vid cracks me up lol. I'm learning the choreography just because...As to whether that will see the light of day who knows...
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
That and that and this is this
One more hour to go before I get off since I'm doing 12 - 8 pm shift at the moment. I was alternating 7-4 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and this shift on the other days because I had to work with one tech that only comes on in the evenings to learn about a software that they use. She's taught me well since now, she actually won't be coming in anymore. They've let go of a few folks here so yea, that sucked a bit but what can ya do but move on. I'm a bit nervous so I'm gonna send out my resume soon enough just to be on the safe side :D
Nothing really new, this Friday's the last day of my Communication class. I sooo need to integrate it with my life since yours truly isn't the greatest in communicating. I'm working on not bottling it all up, then exploding one day. I was gonna say trying but I always think of Yoda when I'm close to saying try.. Do or do not, there is no try.
Started going to the gym last week and got to go twice so that's a start. Today's my lift day but had to do laundry so just ran in the treadmill they have at the apartment complex. I actually took off my shirt since it was hot, and after that, it just got hotter haha. Soon enough, you'll see me out shirtless. It makes more sense now when I see guys running shirtless. What a showoff! is what I used to think but not anymore. I'm following the Abs Diet from Men'sHealth. It's not so much a diet but guidelines on what exercises to do, and what food you should eat etc. Eat six smaller meals, drink lots of water, the power 12 snacks to make those abs show.
I also went to get a consult about possibly getting braces but I think that can wait. I do have a nice smile as it is, and I'm sure braces would improve it but I'm alright right now. I got close to saying that my smile's not that bad but if a bunch of folks have said I have a nice smile, it's probably true. Not being vain or anything but one woman at my old school wrote down that it will always stay with her forever, and my commander said it's a boost for him everyday. Yay! It's a boost for me knowing what people think of me. Is that voyeuristic of me?
I dunno, after last night when I read a chat transcript of C- and I a week after we met, I can't help not to smile.
It just brought all these feelings back that it made me wonder where all those feelings went. I get so focused on the negative things I forget what matters sometimes.
Well, it's almost 8 and I gotta go. Maybe I'll post a video soon. Be happy folks!!
Nothing really new, this Friday's the last day of my Communication class. I sooo need to integrate it with my life since yours truly isn't the greatest in communicating. I'm working on not bottling it all up, then exploding one day. I was gonna say trying but I always think of Yoda when I'm close to saying try.. Do or do not, there is no try.
Started going to the gym last week and got to go twice so that's a start. Today's my lift day but had to do laundry so just ran in the treadmill they have at the apartment complex. I actually took off my shirt since it was hot, and after that, it just got hotter haha. Soon enough, you'll see me out shirtless. It makes more sense now when I see guys running shirtless. What a showoff! is what I used to think but not anymore. I'm following the Abs Diet from Men'sHealth. It's not so much a diet but guidelines on what exercises to do, and what food you should eat etc. Eat six smaller meals, drink lots of water, the power 12 snacks to make those abs show.
I also went to get a consult about possibly getting braces but I think that can wait. I do have a nice smile as it is, and I'm sure braces would improve it but I'm alright right now. I got close to saying that my smile's not that bad but if a bunch of folks have said I have a nice smile, it's probably true. Not being vain or anything but one woman at my old school wrote down that it will always stay with her forever, and my commander said it's a boost for him everyday. Yay! It's a boost for me knowing what people think of me. Is that voyeuristic of me?
I dunno, after last night when I read a chat transcript of C- and I a week after we met, I can't help not to smile.
It just brought all these feelings back that it made me wonder where all those feelings went. I get so focused on the negative things I forget what matters sometimes.
Well, it's almost 8 and I gotta go. Maybe I'll post a video soon. Be happy folks!!
Monday, May 5, 2008
When the child was a child...
When the child was a child
It walked with its arms swinging,
wanted the brook to be a river,
the river to be a torrent,
and this puddle to be the sea.
When the child was a child,
it didn’t know that it was a child,
everything was soulful,
and all souls were one.
When the child was a child,
it had no opinion about anything,
had no habits,
it often sat cross-legged,
took off running,
had a cowlick in its hair,
and made no faces when photographed.
When the child was a child,
It was the time for these questions:
Why am I me, and why not you?
Why am I here, and why not there?
When did time begin, and where does space end?
Is life under the sun not just a dream?
Is what I see and hear and smell
not just an illusion of a world before the world?
Given the facts of evil and people.
does evil really exist?
How can it be that I, who I am,
didn’t exist before I came to be,
and that, someday, I, who I am,
will no longer be who I am?
When the child was a child,
It choked on spinach, on peas, on rice pudding,
and on steamed cauliflower,
and eats all of those now, and not just because it has to.
When the child was a child,
it awoke once in a strange bed,
and now does so again and again.
Many people, then, seemed beautiful,
and now only a few do, by sheer luck.
It had visualized a clear image of Paradise,
and now can at most guess,
could not conceive of nothingness,
and shudders today at the thought.
When the child was a child,
It played with enthusiasm,
and, now, has just as much excitement as then,
but only when it concerns its work.
When the child was a child,
It was enough for it to eat an apple, … bread,
And so it is even now.
When the child was a child,
Berries filled its hand as only berries do,
and do even now,
Fresh walnuts made its tongue raw,
and do even now,
it had, on every mountaintop,
the longing for a higher mountain yet,
and in every city,
the longing for an even greater city,
and that is still so,
It reached for cherries in topmost branches of trees
with an elation it still has today,
has a shyness in front of strangers,
and has that even now.
It awaited the first snow,
And waits that way even now.
When the child was a child,
It threw a stick like a lance against a tree,
And it quivers there still today.
- Song of Childhood by Peter Handke
It walked with its arms swinging,
wanted the brook to be a river,
the river to be a torrent,
and this puddle to be the sea.
When the child was a child,
it didn’t know that it was a child,
everything was soulful,
and all souls were one.
When the child was a child,
it had no opinion about anything,
had no habits,
it often sat cross-legged,
took off running,
had a cowlick in its hair,
and made no faces when photographed.
When the child was a child,
It was the time for these questions:
Why am I me, and why not you?
Why am I here, and why not there?
When did time begin, and where does space end?
Is life under the sun not just a dream?
Is what I see and hear and smell
not just an illusion of a world before the world?
Given the facts of evil and people.
does evil really exist?
How can it be that I, who I am,
didn’t exist before I came to be,
and that, someday, I, who I am,
will no longer be who I am?
When the child was a child,
It choked on spinach, on peas, on rice pudding,
and on steamed cauliflower,
and eats all of those now, and not just because it has to.
When the child was a child,
it awoke once in a strange bed,
and now does so again and again.
Many people, then, seemed beautiful,
and now only a few do, by sheer luck.
It had visualized a clear image of Paradise,
and now can at most guess,
could not conceive of nothingness,
and shudders today at the thought.
When the child was a child,
It played with enthusiasm,
and, now, has just as much excitement as then,
but only when it concerns its work.
When the child was a child,
It was enough for it to eat an apple, … bread,
And so it is even now.
When the child was a child,
Berries filled its hand as only berries do,
and do even now,
Fresh walnuts made its tongue raw,
and do even now,
it had, on every mountaintop,
the longing for a higher mountain yet,
and in every city,
the longing for an even greater city,
and that is still so,
It reached for cherries in topmost branches of trees
with an elation it still has today,
has a shyness in front of strangers,
and has that even now.
It awaited the first snow,
And waits that way even now.
When the child was a child,
It threw a stick like a lance against a tree,
And it quivers there still today.
- Song of Childhood by Peter Handke
Friday, April 25, 2008
Things I don't like about me
Has everybody heard of the different temperaments? For those who haven't, it's a theory that goes all the way back to Hippocrates. He believed certain human moods, emotions and behaviors were caused by body fluids (called humors): blood, yellow bile, black bile, and phlegm. It just got me thinking since I've actually known about these for a while, and even gave some books as gifts trying to get a point across to people. During the time I lived with my aunt and uncle, it was hard on some days since my uncle was so serious the whole time that I remember thinking 'Lighten up, will ya!" Years later, and having lived with the bf this past year, it came to light that my uncle and I have similar personalities.
This came up since the bf and I had a fight few nights ago about things not being done in the house. I usually get upset when the bed isn't made when I get home, dishes are in the sink, etc. When this happens, instead of talking to Cs- about it, I would just be quiet and not talk to him in the time being. I forget how I hated it when my uncle didn't talk to me when we're home, yet here I am doing the same thing to my bf.
He just brought light to some things that I didn't realize I was doing which hurt him in some way. I can say that I'm pretty neat and organized at home, and usually have a system of sorts to make life easier. Even when I was in the mil, my friends used to laugh since I have a place for things. I have everything folded and I used to set Sundays as my ironing day. I'd spend part of the day ironing everything I washed the previous night. Well, not including underwear, but you know, pants, shirts, etc. I really didn't think much of it since it'll be easier for me to find something if I know where it is, rather than hunting around when you need it. Even when I was in school, I'd dump everything in my backpack out and reorganize my notebooks, books EVERY night with no fail. Have it in order as to what class we have, I was even the go-to guy since they know if they need a school supply of sort, Kris will have it.
I'm also quite particular with the kind of food I buy. I only buy Rocky Road or Cookies and Cream ice cream, just creamy Skippy peanut butter, you get the idea. There's a certain brand of wheat bread that I only eat since I've tried other ones and didn't like it. It's not so much that I'm particular, but I just like what I like. So, when I asked him to go grocery shopping, he bought bread, just not what I've been getting. I made it known that it's not the brand that I eat, but perhaps I should have waited to tell him so rather than saying it right when he's putting them away. The bread went to waste since I tried it but didn't like it so went to the store and grabbed the usual brand myself. With doing so, I've hurt him unknowingly.
Here's a site that briefly talks about the personalities. I'm a mix Melancholy/Phlegmatic, leaning more to Melancholy. I'll admit when I read my old posts, and just think Oh my god, I sound so depressed but I don't know, I'd like to think I write about the negative to let it out mainly. In person, I'm easy-going and low key. And I thought it didn't take much to make me happy, yet I'd get depressed in a heartbeat over the little things.
I'm just a walking contradiction, aren't I?
I just noticed that for both personalities, it mentioned self a lot. Selfish, self-centered, self-righteous. Actually I can be selfish when I want to. I went to an extreme once when I was younger, and had a famicom, I didn't want my cousin playing it so I hid the controller when I went to school. Well, my aunt wanted to play it but since I hid it, no one was able to. I got home and they asked why I hid it, and I really can't remember what I said or even having a reason other than not wanting anyone else to use it while I'm gone. It's funny though that I attributed some of my not-so-nice traits to being mixed rather than just for being a kid alone.
I'm not even sure what the point of this post is. I guess to shed more light about my not-so-great aspects and try to find a way to overcome it when it starts to affect relationships. With my nature, I tend to focus on the negatives and seriously forget what I like about a person. I tend not to tell them what's going on since I hate conflicts, so I just quietly take myself out of the picture, probably leaving some wondering why what happened.
I spoke to an old friend few weeks ago, someone I was friends with in high school back in the Philippines. We were really good friends, though we had some falling out a few times. We laugh about it now but one of them was because she let my other classmates use my marker without telling me. It made me mad enough to not talk to her for a week which is another thing I'm trying to work on. When I'm upset, I go about things as usual except acknowledging the person I'm upset with. I forget how I hated it when that was done to me, being in the same room with someone, yet feel as if you don't even exist, that you don't matter enough to get even a nod or anything. I did that quite a lot. I'm not sure what triggers it. I'd wake up one day and just don't feel like talking to people, or get bored so ignore folks just for the kick of it. That doesn't sound normal, and I AM guilty.
Anyway, she told me some of the things she appreciated about me. I'd buy her food when we're out and about, or just being there when she needs me. I seriously don't remember what these things were but she does so guess that's a good thing. I'm not so bad after all since she said, I'm like her first friend that made an impact to her life, and yet not even know it. I just did what I thought one would do for their friend, nothing else. I have deep concern for others, I'll do what I can to help (self-sacrificing), sensitive, and a lot of people say I'm sweet :D To be honest though, I'm boggled to this day as to how I'm sweet. I don't know what makes me one. Oh damn, mel kicking in. Shut up and focus on the good stuff! If I chose to be your friend, I'm a friend for life so the ones I've met, you lucked out haha. You can't get rid of meeee!
That's about it. I just wanted to touch up on this to bring light to my dark side and see what I can do to not become Darth Vader, kapeesh!? My bebe is a Sanguine by the way...
This came up since the bf and I had a fight few nights ago about things not being done in the house. I usually get upset when the bed isn't made when I get home, dishes are in the sink, etc. When this happens, instead of talking to Cs- about it, I would just be quiet and not talk to him in the time being. I forget how I hated it when my uncle didn't talk to me when we're home, yet here I am doing the same thing to my bf.
He just brought light to some things that I didn't realize I was doing which hurt him in some way. I can say that I'm pretty neat and organized at home, and usually have a system of sorts to make life easier. Even when I was in the mil, my friends used to laugh since I have a place for things. I have everything folded and I used to set Sundays as my ironing day. I'd spend part of the day ironing everything I washed the previous night. Well, not including underwear, but you know, pants, shirts, etc. I really didn't think much of it since it'll be easier for me to find something if I know where it is, rather than hunting around when you need it. Even when I was in school, I'd dump everything in my backpack out and reorganize my notebooks, books EVERY night with no fail. Have it in order as to what class we have, I was even the go-to guy since they know if they need a school supply of sort, Kris will have it.
I'm also quite particular with the kind of food I buy. I only buy Rocky Road or Cookies and Cream ice cream, just creamy Skippy peanut butter, you get the idea. There's a certain brand of wheat bread that I only eat since I've tried other ones and didn't like it. It's not so much that I'm particular, but I just like what I like. So, when I asked him to go grocery shopping, he bought bread, just not what I've been getting. I made it known that it's not the brand that I eat, but perhaps I should have waited to tell him so rather than saying it right when he's putting them away. The bread went to waste since I tried it but didn't like it so went to the store and grabbed the usual brand myself. With doing so, I've hurt him unknowingly.
Here's a site that briefly talks about the personalities. I'm a mix Melancholy/Phlegmatic, leaning more to Melancholy. I'll admit when I read my old posts, and just think Oh my god, I sound so depressed but I don't know, I'd like to think I write about the negative to let it out mainly. In person, I'm easy-going and low key. And I thought it didn't take much to make me happy, yet I'd get depressed in a heartbeat over the little things.
I'm just a walking contradiction, aren't I?
I just noticed that for both personalities, it mentioned self a lot. Selfish, self-centered, self-righteous. Actually I can be selfish when I want to. I went to an extreme once when I was younger, and had a famicom, I didn't want my cousin playing it so I hid the controller when I went to school. Well, my aunt wanted to play it but since I hid it, no one was able to. I got home and they asked why I hid it, and I really can't remember what I said or even having a reason other than not wanting anyone else to use it while I'm gone. It's funny though that I attributed some of my not-so-nice traits to being mixed rather than just for being a kid alone.
I'm not even sure what the point of this post is. I guess to shed more light about my not-so-great aspects and try to find a way to overcome it when it starts to affect relationships. With my nature, I tend to focus on the negatives and seriously forget what I like about a person. I tend not to tell them what's going on since I hate conflicts, so I just quietly take myself out of the picture, probably leaving some wondering why what happened.
I spoke to an old friend few weeks ago, someone I was friends with in high school back in the Philippines. We were really good friends, though we had some falling out a few times. We laugh about it now but one of them was because she let my other classmates use my marker without telling me. It made me mad enough to not talk to her for a week which is another thing I'm trying to work on. When I'm upset, I go about things as usual except acknowledging the person I'm upset with. I forget how I hated it when that was done to me, being in the same room with someone, yet feel as if you don't even exist, that you don't matter enough to get even a nod or anything. I did that quite a lot. I'm not sure what triggers it. I'd wake up one day and just don't feel like talking to people, or get bored so ignore folks just for the kick of it. That doesn't sound normal, and I AM guilty.
Anyway, she told me some of the things she appreciated about me. I'd buy her food when we're out and about, or just being there when she needs me. I seriously don't remember what these things were but she does so guess that's a good thing. I'm not so bad after all since she said, I'm like her first friend that made an impact to her life, and yet not even know it. I just did what I thought one would do for their friend, nothing else. I have deep concern for others, I'll do what I can to help (self-sacrificing), sensitive, and a lot of people say I'm sweet :D To be honest though, I'm boggled to this day as to how I'm sweet. I don't know what makes me one. Oh damn, mel kicking in. Shut up and focus on the good stuff! If I chose to be your friend, I'm a friend for life so the ones I've met, you lucked out haha. You can't get rid of meeee!
That's about it. I just wanted to touch up on this to bring light to my dark side and see what I can do to not become Darth Vader, kapeesh!? My bebe is a Sanguine by the way...
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Let's play!
Ey, anyone else who owns a Wii? Please let me know so I can add you on mine.
Here's my Wii code: 4010-5820-8988-0733
Here's my Wii code: 4010-5820-8988-0733
Monday, April 14, 2008
No more cold feet....
It was a miscommunication between my dad and I over that conversation that one Friday night. I've dodged the topic since then whenever he called and ask me what's really going on. Today, something just came over me and I flat out told him that the guy that was gonna come with me is my boyfriend. He had me repeat what I told him just in case, and repeat I did. It was still a bit weird to flat out say I'm gay but I eventually did. He acted like I had a feeling he would.. I'm normally optimistic but realistic at the same time so wasn't holding my breathe on him saying he'd love me just the same, yada yada. I didn't like some of what he said so had to defend the gays haha. I didn't see our talk going anywhere so told him I'm just gonna go and hang up I did.
Here I was thinking my world would crumble if he didn't approve of me, but ya know, I ended up cracking a smile afterwards. It just hit me that what he thought didn't matter anymore as I thought it would. If he comes around great, if not I'd live *smiles* He's not obligated to keep on loving me if he doesn't want to. It's all about choices really, and sometimes people can choose to not talk to us anymore, or to continue loving us, and as much as that would hurt, we really can't do anything about it but move on. Now, one thing you have to remember is NOT to blame yourself in anyway. People do things with no rhyme or reason and you can't hold yourself responsible for it. Never forget that!
Well I'm just telling myself that since I tend to expect the worst sometimes but I'll shut up now. Thanks for the support, it does make a difference more than one would imagine. It's amazing how much blogger love there is sometimes, it makes me smile and grateful. I do love you all! Can one of you be my daddy!? Just kidding!! Or am I.....
Yours with a happy face :)
Here I was thinking my world would crumble if he didn't approve of me, but ya know, I ended up cracking a smile afterwards. It just hit me that what he thought didn't matter anymore as I thought it would. If he comes around great, if not I'd live *smiles* He's not obligated to keep on loving me if he doesn't want to. It's all about choices really, and sometimes people can choose to not talk to us anymore, or to continue loving us, and as much as that would hurt, we really can't do anything about it but move on. Now, one thing you have to remember is NOT to blame yourself in anyway. People do things with no rhyme or reason and you can't hold yourself responsible for it. Never forget that!
Well I'm just telling myself that since I tend to expect the worst sometimes but I'll shut up now. Thanks for the support, it does make a difference more than one would imagine. It's amazing how much blogger love there is sometimes, it makes me smile and grateful. I do love you all! Can one of you be my daddy!? Just kidding!! Or am I.....
Yours with a happy face :)
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Missionary impossible!!.. Get it!?
This never fails to make me laugh when I'm feeling blue..
| Cable channel.mp3 |
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