Good grief

It's been almost two months since my mom applied for her SSN, and we haven't received it yet. We came by the office and tried showing them that they have her green card showing she's eligible to work in the US. They said they'd have to wait from the Dept of Homeland Security and all we can do is wait. It kinda sucks since she started training at Shoppers this past Tuesday but today, when she went to attend another session, she was told they'd have to put it on hold until she gets her SSN. It sucks but nothing we can really do. And to think, she's all excited about working but now, I'm trying to find things for her to do. Volunteering at the most since she can't work period.

Aside from that, everything's been good otherwise. I'm improving on the opening up aspect with my loved ones. Last night, Cs- and I were just sitting on the couch talking. Had his head on my lap and just stroking his hair, and just talking with whatever comes to mind. Things that I've done, what my motivation was behind them, amongst other things.

I actually dozed off while we were watching Family Guy, then woke back up and then minutes later, mom called. I was gonna have her spend the night at our place, but she didn't get in 'til 7 pm after spending the day with some folks she met. They went to a church out in NW DC which I've never gone to but she said it is lovely. It's a basilica of some sort. Ended up being on the phone for three hours while I did the dishes, organized the fridge, and swept and mopped around the apartment. Touched up on a lot of things, family, homosexuality, change, acceptance, topics that just randomly come up in our heads. I've opened up enough to where I explained to her how hurt I was of some of her actions, and vice versa. I told her that the month of July was just awful that I'm glad it's over. It really was that two days before my birthday, I had to go behind a scaffolding and just cry it all out for a good 10 mins. God it was awful. It wasn't really something I wasn't blogging about it either so just having to holding it all in and having nowhere to run to, it all came rushing that one morning.

Things have gotten better and who knows what tomorrow will bring really. D-man, thanks for the grain of wisdom. I sure used that during the convo, telling my mom that I'm not responsible for her happiness :) I think she got it though that it comes down to her whether she chooses to be happy or not. From what I've read, it mentioned how one should strive to be happy, because if you wake up and you're not, there's something to be done about that. I don't think we were born into this world to endure pain and suffering, I know shit happens, but it's up to us to find things that bring us joy. Easier said than done but hey, we weren't born with a handbook.

That's about it really. Thinking of joining a kickball league on the weekends, just something to do and considering I missed playing the game. Ah, the good ole days. Playing kickball wearing flip flops, and at times when you miss kickingng the ball, it'll be the flip flop flying in the air, not the ball like it oughta. Oh De, where have you gone?