The past few weeks

Ok, I really haven't updated since last month. I've posted but it really didn't tell much since I've posted mostly songs or clips. As I've mentioned in an entry in July, my mom moved here to the DC area. I think I jinxed it when I said life was falling right into place, since it sorta turned into shit days after and it's just getting back to normal.

I really won't touch up on it since sometimes I wonder how it just went downhill days after I wrote that last post. It's been crazy but whether I see it as good or bad wouldn't matter since things happen.

It has been a mix really. I've been happy, sad, angry, confused and felt lost but I'm managing okay now. Things just got the best of me. Having to balance with my mom being here, and with the bf, it just felt like I had nowhere to go.

Mom's adjusting more now though and I think she's starting to accept that things won't be like they used to be. She came here thinking it'll just be like in Japan where we lived together and all. It's mostly fear though. When we talked about it one time, she was just saying that what she has feared the most is happening. That I'm gonna have someone else and not love her but I told her that it wasn't the case.
Even the family had a talk to her though how before, she was in the Philippines, she wanted to come to the US. Then she got to Florida, she wanted to be in VA closer to me. And now that she's here, she's not happy since we're not living together.

I'd have to say she's making strides though. She's been meeting people from groceries, stores and such. She'd spot a Filipino and end up chatting with them, and all. One time I talked to her, she made a snide comment how the couple she knew and her are in the same boat, abandoned by their child. I just had to bite my tongue and not say anything since I try to do good by her and she would say such things. I know she felt abandoned by the way things were when she came but I told her from the git go that it's different now.

Ok, Cs- and her have gotten along okay, and on my birthday I saw that my mom made effort to be cheery throughout. She's a fun woman to be around with, but when she whines I tend to forget the things I love about her and just makes me want to get away from her.

The bf and I have had rough spots as well. It felt like we've lived a lifetime already. I still have things I'm dealing with internally but I'm trying my best to be a good bf. Now though that love is standing in front of me, all these doubts and insecurities I have about myself creeps in sometimes. What is there to love about me? Why would someone want to be with me? Those kind of questions.

The weekend was good. Friday afternoon, I got an e-mail from a friend, Deb inviting me to her birthday. I've only hang out with her once so we really don't know too much about each other. It was great though, we went to Cap City Brewing Co and had a bite to eat and some drinks. I ended up giving her The Reader. I thought it was a really good book, and in an e-mail once she mentioned that we have the same taste with movies and books so kinda took a chance on this one but am glad she's loved it, per her e-mail. I met a few of her friends as well, her bf and even her brother. I spoke with her bro for a bit and we touched on music, school, amongst other things. The talk with him made me reconsider my options once again.

Before meeting up with Deb, the bf and I actually saw The Ten. It only came out in selected theaters and that movie is a riot! They made short stories for each of the Ten Commandments, and it was hysterical. It involved naked men, puppets, the lying rhino and even Jesus, or should I say Hesus. After the dinner and drinking with Deb, I met up with the bf and our friend and just went dancing for a bit at this club called Aqua. It was fun, I had a few drinks and just danced to a few songs. The drinks didn't get me drunk much, bummer hahaha !

Gotta do work but will come back for more later. Wow, it felt good to write again!