Return to innocence...

It'll be a month today since my mom arrived here in DC and this pic was taken when we got to the apartment.

Last Thursday, the bf and I went over to my friend/coworker V's house. I was supposed to meet up with a friend but I ended up cancelling and just chose to go to V's. They live about 20 minutes away so it wasn't too bad of a drive. I got to meet her family, mom, dad?, brother and her son that just came back from Georgia I believe. It was nice just spending time with them, laughing, chatting, and eating, things I normally do with my family. V's son is adorable, I can see why she missed him so much. It's cute how when we just got there, he just looked at us and really didn't talk to us until after V- introduced us to him.

She told us that he doesn't talk to strangers but since she introduced us, it's all good now. It's funny how he grabbed mine and Cs- hands and took us around the house to show us around like he has known us for a long time. I went to a kid mode and played with him for a bit, running around the house playing a zombie, a power ranger even. Later on, we just had dinner and they made banana pudding for dessert and man, it was goood. Last time I had some was back in 2003 so it sure was a treat. I really enjoyed their company and I was goofy enough that while putting some in my plate, V asked me if I liked it. I said that No, I don't really like it much while grabbing the big spoon and putting even more servings on my plate. Hey, it was good and I can't help it. It really was nice, though during the time there, a bit of sadness came over me. Sitting there, it made me miss my family since that's how we are when we get together. It's been a little bit over a year since I last saw them, and as to when the next time will be, I do not know.

I didn't get to see my mom this weekend since I got lazy and when I called her, she didn't pick up which means she's out and about. I'll go see her today after getting off though so looking forward to that. It hasn't changed much, when we talk on the phone we'd fight one minute, cry the next then laugh before you know it. Last night, she called around 11 and I ended up talking to her for an hour and a half, and to think she's only 20 minutes away! We just touch on the same things, family, loneliness, new beginnings. She's making strides though, barely a month here and she's made friends already while I on the other hand, took months.

Sometimes she'd say while crying that she wants the old Kris back, and I ask her which Kris exactly was that!?
She says I've changed so much which I agree but I tell her that after having lived by myself since I was 18, I had a lot of time to think over things. I'm working on making peace with everything that has happened, though the times when it all comes rushing back, I tend to lash out on people that I love. I guess with family ya know or wish in your heart, that they wouldn't stop loving you regardless. She feels that I don't love her any longer so instead of not telling her about this old dedication, I went ahead and e-mailed her the link. I don't think she'll know where to go after reading that post so don't think she'll actually read my blog. Or am I just misunderestimating her?

Anyway, heading home soon and will spend some time with mom and the bf. I know it doesn't sound like I am but am happy today. Who knows what tomorrow will be like but at this moment, I'm smiling and thankful for everything that's happened.

Been listening to this song a lot lately and makes me cry a bit Don't be afraid to be weak Don't be too proud to be strong Just look into your heart my friend That will be the return to yourself The return to innocence