How would you not know...

Ottosan..

Just testing to see if this works. I spoke with my dad earlier so kinda fits.

It's gotten hot in here

It certainly will be my weekend in 90 minutes or so. Yiipeeeeee! Really looking forward getting off since I'll be heading up north right after. It'll be a 5-hr trip from here to Jersey, but it shouldn't be too bad. Working all night, and going driving, figured I'll just take a nap once I arrive at my friend's house. Well, a room would be a more suitable word since he lives in the dormitories. I'm excited to see him since it's been about a year now since he left Japan, and got transferred to New Jersey. I certainly miss the old gang. Good times, good times now that I think about it. It was definitely more close-knit overseas as far as it goes being in the military. Worked with the same people, hang out with them after work. Have lunch together, go sightseeing together.

I'm sure it'll be nice seeing an old friend. We might even make a trip or two to New York, and then to Philly. Well scratch the might part as for New York, we ARE definitely going. It probably would be way bigger than I'm expecting it to be, but even just setting foot in the Big Apple would get me all excited. Yeah, I can be that easy sometimes. It'll be cool to meet a fellow blogger but if not, I think it'll still be fun. That'll just be a bonus, but NY would be quite something. I know I really shouldn't be shoulding this or that, it should be fun, it should be awesome etc etc Just take it all in when I get there. As Mr Happysad has mentioned recently, I'll try not to use words, to avoid clouding it with past experiences. Probably be harder than it seems, since the city feel would probably remind me of London town *sigh

30 mins and counting down. Still need to do a bit of packing, woke up a bit early than usual but at least, I got to do all the dishes and ummm, that's about it. Mostly was singing and dancing to Alison. Coz she's my number 1, I'm like a dog to get you. The melody. Well, and the dancing too. I go gaga over a song more whenever I learn the choreography to it. Just need to be sure that the oven't off off when I leave. I left it on all night when I went to work, thank god it didn't start anything. No wonder it was so hot when I walked in.

Everybody can get offered a job

That's what I try to tell myself. I've put up a resume and surprisingly got some responses within the first week. It's good and all, but it's throwing me off a little. I was intent on going to school full time after finishing my stint in the military, but now I'm not too sure. It'll be good to go to school, and get it out of the way though I know it'll take a few years to finish it. Sometimes I wonder what it is like to be a full time student, and just have a job on the side, at a clothing store or something. I'm looking into being a waiter though, it'll be nice to get to meet people from all walks of life. It probably wouldn't be all glamorous, but it'll be definitely something different everyday. It really seems that a degree makes a big difference in the civilian sector. It'll be nice to just focus on school full time, and it is something I would want, but when the family comes in to play, I'm having second thoughts. It'll be a bit hard to provide for them when I'm just working part time.I'm single but feels like I'm married....married to parents, that is. There's more to it that I can write about later on, and that's what I'm trying to do when I started this. I said I was gonna be open about things, yet I watch what I write and hold back on matters that I wanna put down sometimes.

I'm not even sure where to live after I get out. The job offer's been here in Virginia so far, but if I find a job in the bay area, I definitely am taking that one! I got like four places I'm considering, stay here in Virginia or move somewhere in Florida, move and live with my cousin in Colorado for a bit, or to the bay area where my dad lives. Me and him, or was it Him and I? Anyways, he's mentioned it before that I could live with them if I decide to go to school in Cali. It'll be really nice considering I really don't know him much. The most we've spent with each other is four months in a lifetime so definitely have some work to do on that one. It'll be good to know him more but at the same time, I'm not really sure. He doesn't know about me, and from what I noticed when I lived with them, they're not really too accepting of the gays, so hmmm. Might be a bit hard trying to cover that up, and try to dodge all their questions about which or what girl I'm dating, etc etc

I was supposed to go to North Carolina Tuesday morning but my friend called the night before I was gonna leave and told me to just come some other time. She had some family matters to take care of so I just let it be. I was real excited to visit her too since I haven't seen her in almost two years, but what can you do. I was really bummed out since I was really looking forward to go out of town. I just had that mindset where I was gonna be spending my time off somewhere else. I got close to just hopping on the train and going to New York. I got really, really close but figured I'll wait it out and plan it a little. Well I'm doing it this weekend so will see how it goes.

On a night like this

One more hour to go before I leave for the day which will be mostly spent sleeping. Schedule got switched to night shift so been working twelve hours which hasn't been bad at all. We're working Panama Schedule which works 3 on - 2 off - 2 on - 3 off so it's been good. It can be a drag sometimes working twelve hours during the night, but it certainly is better than days. As much as I like talking with customers, it can drive you nuts picking up phone calls one after another for the whole day. I'm really patient but lusers push me on the edge at times I love the helpdesk though, so can't complain. I'm gonna be done with the military at the end of this year and kinda thinking if I'd want to do this in the civilian sector. I've been looking at some job postings, and I wouldn't mind working for a private sector where I would actually know who my customers are. At the moment, we have over 10,000 customers and I really don't get to meet any of them face to face. I know there are a lot of cute ones out, if only I get to see them damnit


This week just really flew by. It's the 10th already!!! It was just like yesterday that I went out to some bar. And so, we finally got to go to the club on a good night. It seems that people come out on Fridays and Sundays to the one we went to called The Cactus. They had this thing called Drag Race which is pretty much two guys putting on some dress and wigs and getting on a wheelchair and wheel their way around the cone and back to the starting line. It looked fun at the time but it'll get boring seeing that week after week, well maybe just to me.

It was good though, so we ended up staying right until the club closed. The music was alright, I prayed to all the gods for them to play some dance songs but didn't happen. It was all hip-hop which obviously I'm not a big fan of. Put on some giddy songs!! Coz you're my number one, I'm like a dog to get you yea yea yea yea Goldfrapp, Kylie or Madonna Scissor Sisters for pete's sake Something i can sing and dance along to. I just can't rap, is all.

I ended up getting some girls' digits, though I hope she knows I don't like women THAT way. I just chit chatted with her for a little bit, and got her to dance a little with me. It was funny though, how it was her friend who told me how she thought that was so sweet of me. Isn't that what people do at clubs though? Meet strangers you can dance with. Though to find someone you can go home with, hmmm, probably won't happen to me.

Shift change will be happening in a few so gotta go. Have a good weekend everyone!!!
Ooops, have a good WEEK, WEEK, it's just getting started for y'all.

A kick in the A

Well, it's been three weeks today since the roommate moved in and by the time I write, he should be on his way out. I really haven't mentioned much about the roommate situation except when he was moving in, and now moving out.

A little backtrack, he moved in to the apartment on the 9th of this month. We just communicated via e-mail five days before that and bam, that he was. He seemed like an alright guy from the e-mail and the phone conversation that we had. Same age as I am, used to be in the military, got out and is trying to settle in to the civilian life once again. I figured help a fella out since that might be me one day. Well not might actually, but WILL be in about eight months. Anybody wanna take me in?

Well here was kinda the silly part. I let him move in without putting money down or anything. He said that he was waiting on some money after his mechanic tools got sold back in New York. I was just like ok, just give it when you get the money. I really didn't think much of it. Funny how it was my friend, JD and my cousin, Nani that wasn't too happy about it. They were kinda worried that the roomie, Ry was just taking advantage. I didn't get the feeling that he was though. The boy needed direction, from what it seemed like. He had this ambition to become a musician, yet didn't have a back up plan. He applied to some departments to become a cop around the area, but their training wouldn't start 'til around the summertime. And so in the meantime, he needed a job right.

Being without a car did put him to a disadvantage, but maybe if I saw him trying to find other ways, it would have been fine. After applying to become a cop, that was pretty much it. He just sat around the house and got on the computer pretty much all day. He's had a hard a time sleeping, he said but I think what got to me was that he was on his laptop when I get home from work, and on it when I wake up, in the living room.I let it slide for a few, though I think it's what drove me nuts. I even gave it some thought after going to DC over St Patrick's Day for a 3-day weekend with my new friend JD. Got back on the 19th, though I ended up not speaking to him about the issue until the 23rd. I really gave it some thought. Either that, or I can just be putting it off haha

23rd rolled around and I was still debating about telling Ry about it. I was getting ready for work, and there he was awake as usual. I had breakfast, and had about fifteen minutes before I leave for work. I was just standing in the kitchen debating whether I should tell him now, or wait til I get home at night. I doubt I probably would have so just went ahead and came out to the living room, and sat down and told him we needed to talk. Well it's more of a one-sided conversation, since it was mostly me saying how it'll be best for him to find a new place to live in. I'm not a confrontational guy obviously :) so I said that I'm having a harder time than I would have expected living with a stranger. As JD puts it, I could have just easily picked a man living in the street to come live with me for free. What I told Ry was true though in a sense, I did miss living alone. Just being able to go around the house in your undies, singing along to full blast music and dancing along, those kind of things (yep, I'm one of those people) I was a bit concerned about his safety too, since he told me about his friend getting shot at in the bus on her way home. I'm not sure what exactly went on but that's all I know. Gosh, that felt awkward telling him to leave. He was pretty much just nodding along, and letting out sighs here and there. I felt like I was breaking up with him!! Is that what it's like?

He actually didn't move out until last Thursday, the 31st. He was supposed to catch a bus for Illinois around 11 but apparently the trip would have been too long so he opted to just rent a car, which his friend there paid for. I got real upset when I came by during lunch and he hasn't left yet. I said my goodbyes before I went to work, and I felt a bit silly about it when I apparently would still see him. So that, I told him he can't be here when I got home from work (I just had a fixation of him being gone when I get off work, I wanted alone time that day so bad)

So I called the home phone 20 mins before I left work, and guess what, somebody was still in the house and answered it. I about have a fit heading out to the car so I just sat down for a bit to calm myself down. It worked, since I just figured I wouldn't say much when I see him, hold my tongue to part in good terms. I got real close to going off on him, when we were talking in the kitchen. He was telling me how he's gonna go up to Illinois and all I uttered was Whatever, just make sure you're gone tonight. Dishes weren't done, though he was on his computer again, when I got home. I was thinking up my speech too, how he's been awake all day, and hasn't even lifted a damn finger, how he's probably gonna be taking advantage of the person he'll be living with etc etc, just those unkind words you can say to someone. He said he finally got to sleep , after barely getting any sleep the past few days. I kinda felt bad for the guy, so I just thought, I'll just do the damn dishes. As much as I was pissed, I really didn't want it to end that way. Well just so I can be sure that he'll give me my money later on hahaha I know, I know it's no guarantee that he would do so, but I'm hoping that he'll help someone if a person gets into the situation he was in. Gah, why I can't just be pessimist? Stop believing there's good in everybody and all this feel-goodery, happy thoughts.

Well April kicked in and I'm living alone again. YEEEY. A good way to get Spring cleaning started, Cleared out my life with a person, finally unpacked all my stuff, giving away my things, and getting to clean the house again, it feels like a home now. Hmmm, guess Ry being here helped after all. If it wasn't for him I would not have gotten the whole place straightened out. Oh oh, here I go again, soon enough and I'll get blinded looking at the bright side.


Don't remember where I quoted it from, but kore:
"When you feel yourself getting angry, stop. Imagine yourself as having already exploded and you now feel wasted. For that's what happens when you get angry: your soul leaves you. Do this, and your anger is sure to dissolve."