*Ugh, the power went out here at work, thank god I didn't lose my post*
Whew, the week's almost over and it's a good thing we have a place to move to. The lease to where we live now ends this Sunday so need to make sure that everything's moved out by then. This past few days, I've actually left for work 3-4 hrs early so I can stop by some properties to take a look at what they have for rent. Some I did like but the prices just seemed to be a bit too much. Granted it'll be nice but I don't think I'm gonna sleep any better paying for a more expensive place. Oh yeah, the place we were moving to was the one I mentioned in the previous post. We initially didn't like the floor plan but with the apartment not coming through, we went with this. We might have to just get rid of the dining table and get bar stools instead but will see. Ikea here we gooo!
Our main concern is the space really. At the moment, we're living in a studio...C-, the dog (Caeden) and I. This past year has really been an adjustment period for us. It took me longer to sorta let go of how I like things to be. I didn't realize how set I was in doing things a certain way which it looks like can be difficult for others. Anywho, we're getting a 2-BR this time so excited about that. It's not definite yet as to what we'll do with the 2nd room. Keep it as a guest room (if we can afford to), or rent it out to a stranger, or even to my mom (Carlos' idea) so that we can have more home-cooked meals. We can have a trial period I suppose and depending how that goes, she can either stay or go. He's open to it though I'm the one really giving it some thought. I guess with there being separate bedrooms, I can go to the room and lock it if they're a bit too much hahaha. They get along really great now so am glad about that. He likes taking her out and having her get a make over. Did I mention she got her haircut pretty much above her shoulders!? The shortest she's ever cut it in a lifetime, her being 48 and all.
I was a bit stressed out with this job. There's been an audit going on, and I got interviewed twice for what seemed like an eternity. I really didn't have answers to some of their questions, usually except that 'this is what I was shown how things are done when I started here' which is true in a sense. Granted I'm partly at fault for not finding things that I can improve on but bleh. I'm administering a program I've never heard of until working here. D-man knows of my saga of almost quitting two weeks after I started. Anywho, the contracting world is crrrazy. I'm dealing with it first hand as far as outside companies bidding on it and all that good stuff.
Pretty much in a nutshell, I'm with XY company, working for XX. XX put the slots up for bidding, so now, YZ, ZZ and all other companies are bidding on the contract. So other companies could win, but instead of working for XY, I'll work for the winning company if they take me on board, but still work for XX. I haaate it. I've applied to some government and county jobs, and the wait for that lol. It'll probably be next year before I hear back heehee. I can always fall back to being a Spice Girl *grins
Maybe I'll put an ad just to test if folks would hire me as a PA. Hmmm, I'm organized, I'll get your shizz in order, and would it help I'm size 11? It's big so I can kick your ass to keep you in line. Big feet makes a difference. Or I can be a stripper. Don't laugh, my mom knows I've wanted to be one since I was young. Ah dreams, must be nice to hope for the thing you wish to want... Sure beats doing it! LOL, things I learn from Strangers with Candy.
Like a wise saying from "Doctor" Iris Puffybush..."Dreams are a great thing, but y'know something, they take a lot of energy. But that's OK. There's a job waiting for you down the block from your house that doesn't require a thought in your head or a hope in your heart. So come on down and work for the artificial flower factory. Why fight it? Okay? Thank you." If I can find that job, I'd be set!!!
That's about it really. I have yet to take exams and stuff for my distance learning classes. I'm seriously considering dropping them since I can't learn like that, I learn in a classroom environment better. I like the interaction with the teacher better, and hearing stories about things they've seen and done.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The ocean breathes salty, won't you carry it in?
I discovered this band through my friend, and I sure do love some of their songs. A vid I made when I'm bored, pardon the "mic" haha :) Though make sure to read the lyrics, it actually has a good message...
Your body may be gone, I'm gonna carry you in.
In my head, in my heart, in my soul.
And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both live again.
Well I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Don't think so.
Well that is that and this is this.
You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what you get.
You get away from me. You get away from me.
Collected my belongings and I left the jail.
Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell.
I had to think awhile. I had to think awhile.
The ocean breathes salty, won't you carry it in?
In your head, in your mouth, in your soul.
And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both grow old.
Well I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I hope so.
Well that is that and this is this.
You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what you get.
You get away from me. You get away from me.
Collected my belongings and I left the jail.
Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell.
I had to think awhile. I had to think awhile.
Well that is that and this is this.
Will you tell me what you saw and I'll tell you what you missed,
when the ocean met the sky.
You missed when time and life shook hands and said goodbye.
When the earth folded on itself.
And said "Good luck, for your sake I hope heaven and hell
are really there, but I wouldn't hold my breath."
You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?
You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?
The ocean breathes salty, won't you carry it in?
In your head, in your mouth, in your soul.
The more we move ahead the more we're stuck in rewind.
Well I don't mind. I don't mind. How the hell could I mind?
Well that is that and this is this.
You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what you get.
You get away from me. You get away from me.
Well that is that and this is this.
Will you tell me what you saw and I'll tell you what you missed,
when the ocean met the sky.
You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste the afterlife?
Your body may be gone, I'm gonna carry you in.
In my head, in my heart, in my soul.
And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both live again.
Well I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Don't think so.
Well that is that and this is this.
You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what you get.
You get away from me. You get away from me.
Collected my belongings and I left the jail.
Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell.
I had to think awhile. I had to think awhile.
The ocean breathes salty, won't you carry it in?
In your head, in your mouth, in your soul.
And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both grow old.
Well I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I hope so.
Well that is that and this is this.
You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what you get.
You get away from me. You get away from me.
Collected my belongings and I left the jail.
Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell.
I had to think awhile. I had to think awhile.
Well that is that and this is this.
Will you tell me what you saw and I'll tell you what you missed,
when the ocean met the sky.
You missed when time and life shook hands and said goodbye.
When the earth folded on itself.
And said "Good luck, for your sake I hope heaven and hell
are really there, but I wouldn't hold my breath."
You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?
You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?
The ocean breathes salty, won't you carry it in?
In your head, in your mouth, in your soul.
The more we move ahead the more we're stuck in rewind.
Well I don't mind. I don't mind. How the hell could I mind?
Well that is that and this is this.
You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what you get.
You get away from me. You get away from me.
Well that is that and this is this.
Will you tell me what you saw and I'll tell you what you missed,
when the ocean met the sky.
You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste the afterlife?
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Almost midnight
Wow, I mixed pineapple and bourbon and I'm feeling it now. I wanted to get a buzz since I only drink here and there and miss the warmth it gives my body. Things have been alright for the most part....
It's not definite whether our contract at work will get renewed or what, so I put out my resume to get a feel of the responses. People have called so guess that's a relief. I have yet to call any back but wrote all their information down already. I applied to some county and government jobs though I know those will take a while. Keeping my hopes up since those are more stable than contract positions. With the current job, I didn't know the contract was up for rebidding this Sept, if I had known, I'm not sure if I would have taken it in the first place but I guess you live and learn.
It was actually Pride the previous weekend but really didn't go to any events. We went out Friday night but I didn't feel too well the next day so stayed home mostly. I looked at some apartments in the morning, but had to stop midday since I felt sick. Might have been due to not drinking enough water. Sunday, C- and I looked at some places and put in an application to two places. Approved on one but still waiting on the other one that we initially wanted. The second one just had an odd floor plan. Right when you walk in, that's where the 'dining room' would be so would be blocking your path to the living room soo hmm, but will see. Here's its floor plan
It was Father's day that day too and after not having heard from my dad since that day in April I told him I was gay, I sent a text message wishing him a Happy Father's Day. His response: "TKS MAN...GIVE ME A MOMENT...UR NEWS TOOK ME FOR A LOOP" After that, I just didn't respond back and will just leave things and give him some space. He knows how to reach me. That's about it really.
Aside from that, still working on making some friends here in the area. I dunno but it just seems like it's a lot harder when you're older. Granted I have a bf, it's still different to have friends to shoot the shit the breeze with and talk things with, ya know!? It's like sometimes you can't help not to think if there's something wrong with you? People say you're funny, sweet yada yada but at the same time, great that doesn't do me any good since no one sticks around to be my friend. Pardon my venting but I just miss having a core set of friends like I did when I was younger. It just gets frustrating on some days that you can't help not to wonder. All the friends I made in the military are spread out in different states so that can only do so much. I need some in the flesh, someone I can just call up and say 'Meet me here.' Anywho, I know it's not doing me any good just writing about it. I've posted on craigslist, did volunteer but nothing but I'm gonna keep trying. In life, there should be balance and it just feels like I'm lacking in the friendship department.. Ugh, I hate when I get contemplative. I think about things too much.
Granted I'm grateful for what I have now, but there's always room for improvement. Goodnight and goodbye.
It's not definite whether our contract at work will get renewed or what, so I put out my resume to get a feel of the responses. People have called so guess that's a relief. I have yet to call any back but wrote all their information down already. I applied to some county and government jobs though I know those will take a while. Keeping my hopes up since those are more stable than contract positions. With the current job, I didn't know the contract was up for rebidding this Sept, if I had known, I'm not sure if I would have taken it in the first place but I guess you live and learn.
It was actually Pride the previous weekend but really didn't go to any events. We went out Friday night but I didn't feel too well the next day so stayed home mostly. I looked at some apartments in the morning, but had to stop midday since I felt sick. Might have been due to not drinking enough water. Sunday, C- and I looked at some places and put in an application to two places. Approved on one but still waiting on the other one that we initially wanted. The second one just had an odd floor plan. Right when you walk in, that's where the 'dining room' would be so would be blocking your path to the living room soo hmm, but will see. Here's its floor plan
It was Father's day that day too and after not having heard from my dad since that day in April I told him I was gay, I sent a text message wishing him a Happy Father's Day. His response: "TKS MAN...GIVE ME A MOMENT...UR NEWS TOOK ME FOR A LOOP" After that, I just didn't respond back and will just leave things and give him some space. He knows how to reach me. That's about it really.
Aside from that, still working on making some friends here in the area. I dunno but it just seems like it's a lot harder when you're older. Granted I have a bf, it's still different to have friends to shoot the shit the breeze with and talk things with, ya know!? It's like sometimes you can't help not to think if there's something wrong with you? People say you're funny, sweet yada yada but at the same time, great that doesn't do me any good since no one sticks around to be my friend. Pardon my venting but I just miss having a core set of friends like I did when I was younger. It just gets frustrating on some days that you can't help not to wonder. All the friends I made in the military are spread out in different states so that can only do so much. I need some in the flesh, someone I can just call up and say 'Meet me here.' Anywho, I know it's not doing me any good just writing about it. I've posted on craigslist, did volunteer but nothing but I'm gonna keep trying. In life, there should be balance and it just feels like I'm lacking in the friendship department.. Ugh, I hate when I get contemplative. I think about things too much.
Granted I'm grateful for what I have now, but there's always room for improvement. Goodnight and goodbye.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Not sure about going black and blue...
OK, not really so much a post but have you guys/gal heard of Adele? She has a song out called Chasing Pavements and you can see the video here. We saw her live this Tuesday and she was great, just wow!! She sounded just like she did on her album.. Her US tour's almost over though so I know it's kinda late but never to grab her CD.
Her songs are simple but lovely. There's a lot of sadness in them, though some made me go 'Oh shit!' since I haven't been the greatest to the bf and it just seemed that she's singing about things I've done :( She covered a Bob Dylan song 'Make you feel love' and it brought tears to my eyes. I've never heard the song prior to her singing it but now, it's one of my favorites. A vid of her performance and the words to the song..
When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free you ain't seen nothing
Like me yet
I could make you happy make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do go to the ends of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love
Her songs are simple but lovely. There's a lot of sadness in them, though some made me go 'Oh shit!' since I haven't been the greatest to the bf and it just seemed that she's singing about things I've done :( She covered a Bob Dylan song 'Make you feel love' and it brought tears to my eyes. I've never heard the song prior to her singing it but now, it's one of my favorites. A vid of her performance and the words to the song..
When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free you ain't seen nothing
Like me yet
I could make you happy make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do go to the ends of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love
Monday, June 16, 2008
Stay down
Few months ago during a rough period, C- had me listen to this song and I cried since it really hit a spot. Freaky when songs do that to you. Some bloggers know some of the crazy things that has happened, that I didn't really talk about here since writing about it would not have made sense...
Anyway, it's one year today that C- and I met. Who would have thunk we would be together after that casual meeting this time last year. At the same time, I'm thankful. There was, dare I to say magic, that day that we met, and sadly I forget that sometimes when I get caught up with the little things. I'm not the easiest person to deal with to be honest. But still, he stuck with me. Happy Anniv kiddo!
Did ya know(x7) (that I love you)
Did ya know(x7) (and I want you.)
I'll admit things aint been the way I thought they would be.
Didn't expect so much stress to develop between me and you.
I knew that it wasn't easy but sometimes when we fight it don't seem like God's design ,
but then I hear words you said and I promise I would stand for you and be true throughout the bad and the good.
And I know what it means to be committed.
So here's a word for you , but you just sing with it..
(Stay Down) We're almost to the very best part.
(Stay Down) You'll always be the pride of my heart.
(Stay Down) We too can past the test
(Stay Down) Yeah we got a lot of work.
(Stay Down) I know it ain't been the best but it certainly ain't been the worst.
(Stay Down) The drama will not last forever (stay down) we'll beat it as long as we're together.
One day we'll look back on this , we'll be like 'remember this?' and it's gonna make us smile 'cause in the end we stayed down..
I ain't gonna lie , at times you amaze me.
You be talking and I swear that you're crazy but,
I learned a long time ago that pride don't help , it only hurts.
And I just want you to know ,
I need ya baby (I need you)
I'm just like Weezy baby , not Weezy like the rapper baby but the wife of George , and we're moving on up.
10 years strong and we're looking like a plan.
Im looking like your woman and you're looking like my man.
We looking like real and the haters look fake ,
especially when they hear me say..
(Stay Down) We're almost to the very best part.
(Stay Down) You'll always have a place in my heart.
(Stay Down) We too can past the test
(Stay Down) Ya know we got a lot of work.
(Stay Down) I know it ain't been the best but it certainly ain't been the worst.
(Stay Down) The drama will not last forever (stay down) we'll beat it as long as we're together.
One day we'll look back on this , we'll be like 'remember this?' and it's gonna make us smile 'cause in the end we stayed down..
(Understand you are the one in my heart) And I'm holding on so we can't live apart.
(When things stop making sense we'll figure it out) I walked into this and I don't wanna walk out no , no.
Everything ain't gonna be how we like and what is worth keeping if it didn't take a fight?
Your healing is in me (me)
Amd my healing is in you (you)
So get your mind right , 'cause here's what we gonna do..
(Stay Down) We're almost to the very best part.
(Stay Down) You'll always be the pride of my heart.
(Stay Down) We too can past the test
(Stay Down) Ya know we got a lot of work.
(Stay Down) I know it ain't been the best but it certainly ain't been the worst.
(Stay Down) The drama will not last forever (stay down) we'll beat it as long as we're together.
One day we'll look back on this , we'll be like 'remember this?' and it's gonna make us smile 'cause in the end we stayed down..
Did ya know(x7) (that I love you)
Did ya know(x7)
- Mary J. Blige
Anyway, it's one year today that C- and I met. Who would have thunk we would be together after that casual meeting this time last year. At the same time, I'm thankful. There was, dare I to say magic, that day that we met, and sadly I forget that sometimes when I get caught up with the little things. I'm not the easiest person to deal with to be honest. But still, he stuck with me. Happy Anniv kiddo!
Did ya know(x7) (that I love you)
Did ya know(x7) (and I want you.)
I'll admit things aint been the way I thought they would be.
Didn't expect so much stress to develop between me and you.
I knew that it wasn't easy but sometimes when we fight it don't seem like God's design ,
but then I hear words you said and I promise I would stand for you and be true throughout the bad and the good.
And I know what it means to be committed.
So here's a word for you , but you just sing with it..
(Stay Down) We're almost to the very best part.
(Stay Down) You'll always be the pride of my heart.
(Stay Down) We too can past the test
(Stay Down) Yeah we got a lot of work.
(Stay Down) I know it ain't been the best but it certainly ain't been the worst.
(Stay Down) The drama will not last forever (stay down) we'll beat it as long as we're together.
One day we'll look back on this , we'll be like 'remember this?' and it's gonna make us smile 'cause in the end we stayed down..
I ain't gonna lie , at times you amaze me.
You be talking and I swear that you're crazy but,
I learned a long time ago that pride don't help , it only hurts.
And I just want you to know ,
I need ya baby (I need you)
I'm just like Weezy baby , not Weezy like the rapper baby but the wife of George , and we're moving on up.
10 years strong and we're looking like a plan.
Im looking like your woman and you're looking like my man.
We looking like real and the haters look fake ,
especially when they hear me say..
(Stay Down) We're almost to the very best part.
(Stay Down) You'll always have a place in my heart.
(Stay Down) We too can past the test
(Stay Down) Ya know we got a lot of work.
(Stay Down) I know it ain't been the best but it certainly ain't been the worst.
(Stay Down) The drama will not last forever (stay down) we'll beat it as long as we're together.
One day we'll look back on this , we'll be like 'remember this?' and it's gonna make us smile 'cause in the end we stayed down..
(Understand you are the one in my heart) And I'm holding on so we can't live apart.
(When things stop making sense we'll figure it out) I walked into this and I don't wanna walk out no , no.
Everything ain't gonna be how we like and what is worth keeping if it didn't take a fight?
Your healing is in me (me)
Amd my healing is in you (you)
So get your mind right , 'cause here's what we gonna do..
(Stay Down) We're almost to the very best part.
(Stay Down) You'll always be the pride of my heart.
(Stay Down) We too can past the test
(Stay Down) Ya know we got a lot of work.
(Stay Down) I know it ain't been the best but it certainly ain't been the worst.
(Stay Down) The drama will not last forever (stay down) we'll beat it as long as we're together.
One day we'll look back on this , we'll be like 'remember this?' and it's gonna make us smile 'cause in the end we stayed down..
Did ya know(x7) (that I love you)
Did ya know(x7)
- Mary J. Blige
Friday, June 6, 2008
Video me
Well, here's the vid mentioned from the previous post. I just get nervous when people go here and the first thing they'd see is me in a video. Oh well, I'd get over it one day :D I think I might start doing video posts once a week actually, just a thought...
Thursday, June 5, 2008
May...
I actually was gonna post a video blog instead few days ago but decided not to, as to why I do not know. I guess I was a bit nervous what people would think of me, and here I was thinking I'm past all that.
The weather has been a bit crazy here in the Northern VA/DC area. We lost power at work for about 3 hrs but they had generators though so I still had to stay 'til 8 which is my shift in the time being. I'm really hoping to get back to a "normal" schedule soon. I thought I liked this shift since I get some quiet time from 6-8 when just about everyone's gone but it's getting boring. I get out and really can't do much since everything's almost closed by then.
I actually witnessed an accident on the Capital Beltway and I guess it shook me up a bit. There was a truck that was stalled to my left lane, and a truck from two lanes to the left actually went to that lane, not realizing that the other truck was stopped. We were driving right next to
each other, and when I saw what was about to happen, I just looked rather than actually switching lanes to get far from it. The second truck finally saw the stalled truck and he quickly changed lanes to try to avoid hitting it. But since it was a big truck, the back part didn't move quite as fast and it smashed right into the stalled one. I saw debris flying in the air and I just though Oh shit!! If the truck would have veered right, I would have been hit. I checked the rear view mirror to see if the driver was okay, and he didn't get hit so that's a good thing. But still, I can only imagine what was going through inside him right at that moment. I probably would start crying, I don't know.
I'm not sure if I've mentioned that my mom finally got a full-time job and will get benefits soon enough. I'm really glad for her, she's come a long way from the time she arrived last year. She's become more independent and last night when I spoke to her on the phone, it was a good
talk overall which lasted for an hour and a half, like we used to do before she came here. I was set though, on not giving in and giving some extra money to cover the rent. I know she's making enough now, with the full-time job and a part-time one she's doing. I was paying for her full rent for a while and it kinda got to me, as some blogger-friends would know. I tried not to post about it here but vented to two of 'em when I talk to them online. It was a nice conversation since growing up, we really never had these talks. We ended up crying here and there during the talk. It started when my Dad became the subject. She was saying how she loved him with all her heart and that when he married someone else, it broke her heart. We talked about how she didn't pay mind to all the other guys that are even offering to marry her because she was in love with him. I chuckled when she told me that even before she actually knew my dad, she used to get jealous when he'd bring girls with him where she worked at.It's one of those things she can't explain either as to what it was about my dad that made her love him that much. After him, she really didn't see anyone else until I was about 14 or 15 yrs old. She focused completely on raising me. I look just like my dad so yea, there's something not right there lol.
Me being gay came up as well how my dad probably blames her and her side of the family for it. I told her that it really had nothing to do with how I was raised. She asked if I've told him yet, and I lied and said No since I know how she gets. She seems to take it harder when things happen to me, that I would just think "I'm the one in the center of all this and this has really nothing to do with you!" but I guess, that whole seeing "how your loved one is hurt hurts you more" comes into play. We talked about relationships, lessons she's learned in life so am glad she's grown a lot and has become her own self. She has spent a long time listening to what others tell her to do, but those are all gone. I sometimes feel like a father telling her to live her own life now and do what makes HER happy. She's a really good person and she's
really devoted to the family, to a fault that she thinks about everybody but herself.
We also talked about how when she got married and I didn't like my stepdad initially. How it was the same thing when she moved here and didn't like that I'm in a relationship with C- and living with him. She was like, Now you know how it was for me. I chuckled since I didn't think about it like that until then. Growing up, I really ended up just bottling everything in since it really didn't feel like I had anyone I can talk to. I think I just dealt with it the best (not the healthiest) way that I can. But still, I had enough sense not to get into any addiction. Didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't try illegal substances. As long as I had my dose of Spice(Girls) when I was a teenager, I was set. Kinda silly but ya know, it made me happy and that was enough.
It might sound like I had a really fucked up life but it's really a mix, the good balances the bad. My family was loving yet crazy in some ways but no family is perfect, or do they actually exist? If they do, please let me know, I'd want to meet them.
It's been good for the most part. I know it's been a few weeks but Memorial Day weekend was nice. We did touristy things here in the DC area. Went to Mt Vernon which was where George Washington lived, rented a bike and rode it for 10-15 miles from DC over the bridge to Virginia. I was sore a few days after but it's good overall. There are more pictures when you click the pic to the left, we took this when we were resting.
Last weekend, I volunteered for Stonewall Regatta. It was a rowing competition hosted by the DC Strokes and they had competitors from different areas. I had a good time, I was a timer at the finish line. I think it's something I'm gonna try to get into eventually. Their Learning to Row program was full but I did e-mail them saying I'd be interested to be in the program. Though it probably would be a good idea to learn how to swim first. I posted an ad looking for someone to teach me, but didn't know that C- knows how to swim so he's gonna be the one teaching me. With moving and all, it might have to wait 'til July.
That's about it really, and here I was thinking I had nothing to blog about anymore...
The weather has been a bit crazy here in the Northern VA/DC area. We lost power at work for about 3 hrs but they had generators though so I still had to stay 'til 8 which is my shift in the time being. I'm really hoping to get back to a "normal" schedule soon. I thought I liked this shift since I get some quiet time from 6-8 when just about everyone's gone but it's getting boring. I get out and really can't do much since everything's almost closed by then.
I actually witnessed an accident on the Capital Beltway and I guess it shook me up a bit. There was a truck that was stalled to my left lane, and a truck from two lanes to the left actually went to that lane, not realizing that the other truck was stopped. We were driving right next to
each other, and when I saw what was about to happen, I just looked rather than actually switching lanes to get far from it. The second truck finally saw the stalled truck and he quickly changed lanes to try to avoid hitting it. But since it was a big truck, the back part didn't move quite as fast and it smashed right into the stalled one. I saw debris flying in the air and I just though Oh shit!! If the truck would have veered right, I would have been hit. I checked the rear view mirror to see if the driver was okay, and he didn't get hit so that's a good thing. But still, I can only imagine what was going through inside him right at that moment. I probably would start crying, I don't know.
I'm not sure if I've mentioned that my mom finally got a full-time job and will get benefits soon enough. I'm really glad for her, she's come a long way from the time she arrived last year. She's become more independent and last night when I spoke to her on the phone, it was a good
talk overall which lasted for an hour and a half, like we used to do before she came here. I was set though, on not giving in and giving some extra money to cover the rent. I know she's making enough now, with the full-time job and a part-time one she's doing. I was paying for her full rent for a while and it kinda got to me, as some blogger-friends would know. I tried not to post about it here but vented to two of 'em when I talk to them online. It was a nice conversation since growing up, we really never had these talks. We ended up crying here and there during the talk. It started when my Dad became the subject. She was saying how she loved him with all her heart and that when he married someone else, it broke her heart. We talked about how she didn't pay mind to all the other guys that are even offering to marry her because she was in love with him. I chuckled when she told me that even before she actually knew my dad, she used to get jealous when he'd bring girls with him where she worked at.It's one of those things she can't explain either as to what it was about my dad that made her love him that much. After him, she really didn't see anyone else until I was about 14 or 15 yrs old. She focused completely on raising me. I look just like my dad so yea, there's something not right there lol.
Me being gay came up as well how my dad probably blames her and her side of the family for it. I told her that it really had nothing to do with how I was raised. She asked if I've told him yet, and I lied and said No since I know how she gets. She seems to take it harder when things happen to me, that I would just think "I'm the one in the center of all this and this has really nothing to do with you!" but I guess, that whole seeing "how your loved one is hurt hurts you more" comes into play. We talked about relationships, lessons she's learned in life so am glad she's grown a lot and has become her own self. She has spent a long time listening to what others tell her to do, but those are all gone. I sometimes feel like a father telling her to live her own life now and do what makes HER happy. She's a really good person and she's
really devoted to the family, to a fault that she thinks about everybody but herself.
We also talked about how when she got married and I didn't like my stepdad initially. How it was the same thing when she moved here and didn't like that I'm in a relationship with C- and living with him. She was like, Now you know how it was for me. I chuckled since I didn't think about it like that until then. Growing up, I really ended up just bottling everything in since it really didn't feel like I had anyone I can talk to. I think I just dealt with it the best (not the healthiest) way that I can. But still, I had enough sense not to get into any addiction. Didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't try illegal substances. As long as I had my dose of Spice(Girls) when I was a teenager, I was set. Kinda silly but ya know, it made me happy and that was enough.
It might sound like I had a really fucked up life but it's really a mix, the good balances the bad. My family was loving yet crazy in some ways but no family is perfect, or do they actually exist? If they do, please let me know, I'd want to meet them.
It's been good for the most part. I know it's been a few weeks but Memorial Day weekend was nice. We did touristy things here in the DC area. Went to Mt Vernon which was where George Washington lived, rented a bike and rode it for 10-15 miles from DC over the bridge to Virginia. I was sore a few days after but it's good overall. There are more pictures when you click the pic to the left, we took this when we were resting.Last weekend, I volunteered for Stonewall Regatta. It was a rowing competition hosted by the DC Strokes and they had competitors from different areas. I had a good time, I was a timer at the finish line. I think it's something I'm gonna try to get into eventually. Their Learning to Row program was full but I did e-mail them saying I'd be interested to be in the program. Though it probably would be a good idea to learn how to swim first. I posted an ad looking for someone to teach me, but didn't know that C- knows how to swim so he's gonna be the one teaching me. With moving and all, it might have to wait 'til July.
That's about it really, and here I was thinking I had nothing to blog about anymore...
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