So yea... I spoke to one of the managers and she has nothing but praises. She mentioned that the big boss is really happy with me, hence the bonus I got back in August, and that he's putting me in for a pay increase. That made me glad :D It'll be really nice if I get that slot though :D She was asking if I want a home, and I felt like a kid saying yeeeeessss. I gotta call her again later so will see. Going to lunch now...
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Shifts in life
I don't know if I've mentioned that they have me sorta temping again for another department. I have been since the 10th and probably will for another week.They haven't kept me busy as much as I hoped, and it sucks since I sit here, just thinking about stuff.
I've been reading a blogger's website and it's just been making me think about how I could have done things differently when I was in a relationship. At times, I don't realize how much I hurt other people until after the fact. I was having breakfast down at the shopping area and I'll admit I cried some while sitting there, trying to wipe it quick so people won't show. I was wondering how I made it known to C- that I needed him? Coz I sure as hell don't remember telling him so. I've gotten so used to not depending on others that it seemed so foreign opening up to C- or in a sense depending on him. I'd see things that needs to get done and instead of giving him things to do, I'd do 'em all and get frustrated about my inability to ask for help. That and among other things, insecurities thrown in were reasons that I had in splitting up with him. I just didn't want to hurt him anymore, but hurting him in the process of trying to prevent it. I just wanted to save him from me.
Even my mom, she comments from time to time that she's scared of me. Instead of casually brushing it off, I might have to just hear what she has to say. When I think about it, I'm not sure what happened along the way. Not having seen each other for like 8 years definitely played a role. I just don't know how to need her like I used to. I love her and all but there's been a shift along the way.
I was kinda off the other day, it built up as the day progressed that I wanted to be hugged and just be told that everything's gonnabe alright. Frustrated about.... I think I'm being impatient about getting moved to a different position here at the agency I work for. They've had me do like 4 "temp" spots since I started here, and I actually liked doing one of them. It's like move me already! And you talk to the higher ups and they tell you to get on the company website or talk to my supervisor when they're the ones who would actually make the decision so bleh.
Perhaps I'm just going through a funk. I'm hitting my 3 yrs here in DC and I'm getting the itch to move somewhere and start over. I sorta still have that mentality after having stayed in one place for only 2-3 years. There's nothing really keeping me here but then, where would I wanna go though....
As far as school goes, it's going just fine. We got our 2nd quiz for Precalc back and I got 24/40. After looking it over though, I realized my prof missed grading one question worth 8 points so scanned it last night and e-mailed him about it. Yay, my grades are improving granted it's just the 2nd quiz. Doing the assignments would definitely help more so need to get on that, instead of just looking over the notes and not doing anything else.
I've been reading a blogger's website and it's just been making me think about how I could have done things differently when I was in a relationship. At times, I don't realize how much I hurt other people until after the fact. I was having breakfast down at the shopping area and I'll admit I cried some while sitting there, trying to wipe it quick so people won't show. I was wondering how I made it known to C- that I needed him? Coz I sure as hell don't remember telling him so. I've gotten so used to not depending on others that it seemed so foreign opening up to C- or in a sense depending on him. I'd see things that needs to get done and instead of giving him things to do, I'd do 'em all and get frustrated about my inability to ask for help. That and among other things, insecurities thrown in were reasons that I had in splitting up with him. I just didn't want to hurt him anymore, but hurting him in the process of trying to prevent it. I just wanted to save him from me.
Even my mom, she comments from time to time that she's scared of me. Instead of casually brushing it off, I might have to just hear what she has to say. When I think about it, I'm not sure what happened along the way. Not having seen each other for like 8 years definitely played a role. I just don't know how to need her like I used to. I love her and all but there's been a shift along the way.
I was kinda off the other day, it built up as the day progressed that I wanted to be hugged and just be told that everything's gonnabe alright. Frustrated about.... I think I'm being impatient about getting moved to a different position here at the agency I work for. They've had me do like 4 "temp" spots since I started here, and I actually liked doing one of them. It's like move me already! And you talk to the higher ups and they tell you to get on the company website or talk to my supervisor when they're the ones who would actually make the decision so bleh.
Perhaps I'm just going through a funk. I'm hitting my 3 yrs here in DC and I'm getting the itch to move somewhere and start over. I sorta still have that mentality after having stayed in one place for only 2-3 years. There's nothing really keeping me here but then, where would I wanna go though....
As far as school goes, it's going just fine. We got our 2nd quiz for Precalc back and I got 24/40. After looking it over though, I realized my prof missed grading one question worth 8 points so scanned it last night and e-mailed him about it. Yay, my grades are improving granted it's just the 2nd quiz. Doing the assignments would definitely help more so need to get on that, instead of just looking over the notes and not doing anything else.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Quiet times
I'm not sure if this will work since I'm sending it through the e-mail feature but this song makes me cry when I listen to it. I just love Dido's songs :D
You ask me where I'd go tonight i go back to today last year.
When we knew how to make each other happy, and there's hope with everything.
Its hard enough to feel the world as it is and hold on anything.
Without these quiet times you've brought round here.
I'm gonna have to run away, i'm sure that i belong some other place.
I've seen another side of all i've seen it keeps me wondering where my family is.
Its hard enough to see the world as it is, and hold on anything.
Without these quiet times coming round here.
Now i miss you...
Now i want you...
But i can't have you...
Even when your here...
Suppose i have to take you with me, broken mind i'd rather leave you here.
To forget everything you've seen and known erase every idea.
And you walk up in the street, and hold my hand and smile.
Well i won't be taken in, 'cuz i know how it turns out.
And it takes me back to these quiet times coming round here.
Now i miss you...
Now i want you...
Your not coming back...
And i need you...
But i can't have you...
Even when your here...
You ask me where I'd go tonight i go back to today last year.
When we knew how to make each other happy, and there's hope with everything.
Its hard enough to feel the world as it is and hold on anything.
Without these quiet times you've brought round here.
I'm gonna have to run away, i'm sure that i belong some other place.
I've seen another side of all i've seen it keeps me wondering where my family is.
Its hard enough to see the world as it is, and hold on anything.
Without these quiet times coming round here.
Now i miss you...
Now i want you...
But i can't have you...
Even when your here...
Suppose i have to take you with me, broken mind i'd rather leave you here.
To forget everything you've seen and known erase every idea.
And you walk up in the street, and hold my hand and smile.
Well i won't be taken in, 'cuz i know how it turns out.
And it takes me back to these quiet times coming round here.
Now i miss you...
Now i want you...
Your not coming back...
And i need you...
But i can't have you...
Even when your here...
Choices or chance
I deleted this entry after posting it but putting it back now. Thinking it through this morning, I'm writing from my point of view and how things affect me, which has nothing to do with other people. I can't blame 'em since this all happens inside.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
What do you know!? I was doing laundry last Thursday and ended up getting locked out of the apartment. I forgot that the lock has problems where it stays locked even after it lets you in with your key and all. It happened around 6 pm and I think I showered before hand and put on my home clothes. I tried forcing the door a few times but alas, it won't open. I knocked on the neighbor's door and asked if I can go through the balconies and try getting in from there but it was locked too!
I guess am glad my mom only worked a mile away, and here I was pushing her to look for other jobs haha. It was kinda breezy but oh well, I wanted to get back in. While walking, I realized why I don't wear boxers. I wear it when I go to bed but aside from that, I don't. Somehow I decided to wear boxers and I was tenting a lot during the trek. I ended up grabbing a newspaper to cover it since I kept thinking stuff that got me horny, way to pick a time Kris.
Saturday, ended up hanging out with one coworker since the one that I was supposed to see never got back to me. I thought it was unusual of her not to respond but I found out she had problems with her telephone. So just hang out for a few years and drove to DC for a bit to look at the Real World house. Went out that night and it was okay, I guess I'm not so much of a going out person like I thought.
Aside from that, with school and stuff, we have a quiz today in both classes. I'm not sure sometimes what causes my proscrastination. I had a few hours to do stuff after getting back from the gym, somehow ended up doing things but schoolwork. I'm just gonna study later since I get off at 2:30 and class don't start til 4:30. I really haven't had a big think lately so that's a good thing. Once in a while, I get lonely/bored but I think it happens to all. It's funny getting that feeling that you wanna be with someone but at the same time, you don't. I miss C- at times, just having someone to do things with. But then, I'm not gonna try to get back with him just because of that. I'm still trying to figure some things out. I think come summer, I'm gonna find a place and live on my own. My mom's been fine to live with, and of course, here comes the but. I find myself getting annoyed by random things, the way she tries to walk me to the door when I'm leaving for work, the clinging noise when she stirs her coffee. Things I know that shouldn't bother me but it does. Kris still has some growing up to do.
Right now, they got me subbing again for another office. It's funny how I'm two buildings down from where I used to work when I first moved to DC. Makes me wonder sometimes how things would have been if I stayed there. How things would have turned out and where I would be 2 1/2 years after the big move.. :) I wonder if this is where I'm supposed to be, or am I here because of my choices?
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
What do you know!? I was doing laundry last Thursday and ended up getting locked out of the apartment. I forgot that the lock has problems where it stays locked even after it lets you in with your key and all. It happened around 6 pm and I think I showered before hand and put on my home clothes. I tried forcing the door a few times but alas, it won't open. I knocked on the neighbor's door and asked if I can go through the balconies and try getting in from there but it was locked too!
I guess am glad my mom only worked a mile away, and here I was pushing her to look for other jobs haha. It was kinda breezy but oh well, I wanted to get back in. While walking, I realized why I don't wear boxers. I wear it when I go to bed but aside from that, I don't. Somehow I decided to wear boxers and I was tenting a lot during the trek. I ended up grabbing a newspaper to cover it since I kept thinking stuff that got me horny, way to pick a time Kris.
Saturday, ended up hanging out with one coworker since the one that I was supposed to see never got back to me. I thought it was unusual of her not to respond but I found out she had problems with her telephone. So just hang out for a few years and drove to DC for a bit to look at the Real World house. Went out that night and it was okay, I guess I'm not so much of a going out person like I thought.
Aside from that, with school and stuff, we have a quiz today in both classes. I'm not sure sometimes what causes my proscrastination. I had a few hours to do stuff after getting back from the gym, somehow ended up doing things but schoolwork. I'm just gonna study later since I get off at 2:30 and class don't start til 4:30. I really haven't had a big think lately so that's a good thing. Once in a while, I get lonely/bored but I think it happens to all. It's funny getting that feeling that you wanna be with someone but at the same time, you don't. I miss C- at times, just having someone to do things with. But then, I'm not gonna try to get back with him just because of that. I'm still trying to figure some things out. I think come summer, I'm gonna find a place and live on my own. My mom's been fine to live with, and of course, here comes the but. I find myself getting annoyed by random things, the way she tries to walk me to the door when I'm leaving for work, the clinging noise when she stirs her coffee. Things I know that shouldn't bother me but it does. Kris still has some growing up to do.
Right now, they got me subbing again for another office. It's funny how I'm two buildings down from where I used to work when I first moved to DC. Makes me wonder sometimes how things would have been if I stayed there. How things would have turned out and where I would be 2 1/2 years after the big move.. :) I wonder if this is where I'm supposed to be, or am I here because of my choices?
Thursday, September 3, 2009
School is cool
It's been two weeks since classes started and it's been actually good so far. We had tests already this week and I can say I did well on them, even Precal. It does make a difference when one actually studies! Haha I'm retaking it since I had an epic fail last spring with the class. Granted I showed up in class, but didn't really do any work outside of class. And weird thing is, I know what I was doing and yet didn't do anything about it. One of those things I suppose. I'm changing though, granted I haven't done any of the homeworks to 'practice' on, I studied the formula at least and the notes at class so I actually knew
Aside from that, everything's been quiet for the most part. Just been working, and staying home mostly. Been reading the Harry Potter series this past few weeks and I'm on the 5th book now. It's kinda dry right now so haven't picked it up in a few days. The series is actually good, I'd end up staying up til like 1 finishing them instead of just waiting the next day. It's like "Oh my goddd, what happens next!!!?" *flip
It's been quiet on my end really. Today, will go home, wait on the Comcast guy to come. They were supposed to come by Saturday but somehow the appointment never got on the system so they told me they can do the install for free which normally costs $30 or give me HBO free for six months. I picked the HBO just so I can watch the season finale of True Blood. Coz I wanna do bad things with you.....
Aside from that, everything's been quiet for the most part. Just been working, and staying home mostly. Been reading the Harry Potter series this past few weeks and I'm on the 5th book now. It's kinda dry right now so haven't picked it up in a few days. The series is actually good, I'd end up staying up til like 1 finishing them instead of just waiting the next day. It's like "Oh my goddd, what happens next!!!?" *flip
It's been quiet on my end really. Today, will go home, wait on the Comcast guy to come. They were supposed to come by Saturday but somehow the appointment never got on the system so they told me they can do the install for free which normally costs $30 or give me HBO free for six months. I picked the HBO just so I can watch the season finale of True Blood. Coz I wanna do bad things with you.....
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