I didn't get to see M- that Friday night since two of his dogs ended up missing. We were supposed to meet two hours prior (around 8:30 pm) after I coaxed him to hang out with me. When I called, he got out of the shower so he pretty much needed to get dressed and leave. I asked him not to shave but he insisted so I told him to do whatever. Hour passed and he texted saying he's not ready yet, he had three phone calls one after the another so I said ok. Then, half an hour later, he called and said that he's driving around trying to find his dogs, Pep and Ging (spices). I got angry and all I could think of was how lame he'd use THAT as an excuse. All I can say was hope they turn up and leave it at that.
I really was itching to stay out that night so called my friend MJ and told her that I'm in the area and was thinking of going out. She went on as to how I shouldn't be going out alone and that she's not really doing anything so she wouldn't mind coming along as well. I told her how I was supposed to meet M- but ended up changing our plans since his dogs went missing. MJ's good with relationships so, being more expert that I was, she said You should have offered to help him find them! Yea, guess you're right I told her but nah, I'm going out tonight. She said she will come too and to give her half an hour to get changed and everything. I headed down to where the club was and called my cousin Nani to help kill time. 30 mins later, and still no MJ. Texted and asked her where she was, and she replied saying she was on her way. She lived maybe 15 mins away from the club, and half an hour later still no MJ. I got worried, thinking that Oh no! She might have been in an accident! since I called and no one picked up. I was freaking myself out thinking that of course, if she didn't pick up, that's coz she can't get to it foo'
She messaged around midnight telling me to just go in to the club and find her other guy friend. Between all these times, my 'courage' of going in by myself has dwindled. I was debating whether I should go or not. Of course I went in since that's what I came for damnit. I just stayed for about half an hour though. It's pretty much the same thing they were doing when I came few months ago so booo! They had this one drag queen that just sucked. Trying not to be mean but the whole time I was watching her, all I can think of was wtf? Her face looked swollen throughout, and she's out there in the stage performing?! It's swollen like how my eye did when I got bitten by a roach in my eyelids when I was asleep. Anyway, I was chuckling how I could do betta than her, just throw me in some dress and put make up on. Would I do it? Oh yeah! Nah, just kidding, it's nice to dream though huh? Not that I've toyed with being in drag *cough cough No, not really. I'm alright performing in the confines of my room, and sharing it out to you guys every once in a while. Dunno about sharing ones with my dance moves though, might be a little bit too much :P
Oh, I can't drink anyway so that's not gonna do much being sober out in the bars/clubs. It's nice to have a little buzz going which somehow helps to boost one's confidence. I had a glass of Coke and left a little bit after. Oh, M- texted too while I was heading down to the club. He asked Come spend the night with me when you're done? I didn't know what to say so I didn't reply, then 10 mins later he kinda took it back saying how that was out of line for him to ask. I texted saying we probably won't get to leave 'til 1:30 am so some other time maybe?! He didn't respond after that. I left the club maybe around 12:30, and considered actually calling M- and telling him I'm coming by. Kinda cheer him up with his two dogs missing and all. I didn't though, and went home since I wanted to be myself after being stood up, in a sense, by two people.
So got home, and was up 'til about 5, just talking my cousin. Oh yea, I can talk to her for hours. She's one I can talk to just about anything, or call just for the sake of it. Either her, or here. I really didn't have any outlet so to speak growing up. Some had writings or poetry, some had paintings, some had music. Me, nothing. I seriously don't remember having any. I think I internalized everything that's happened, and now that I have this, been letting it out every once in a while. Have something tangible at least. That's why I don't write much about the affairs of the world. I'm sure bloggers out there do that already, so I'm just here to mostly write about me.
Saturday. I hang around the house mostly after waking up around 2 pm. Just did some chores, around the house. Called the family up!? I think. I don't remember much except that evening, I ended up on the other side of the water to see M. His friend, who has the same name as I do, was there so I just let them be while I mostly played with the dog that was left behind. Oh dear, I can't remember the dog's name rt now. He's kinda new and I was still trying to like him more. I like Ging- coz she's so like me, she just takes a seat back and let the others get the attention. Pep- likes to lick a lot which took a little getting used to since I haven't had to deal with animals the longest. They're BIG too. Labradors, though don't recall if they're full breed or whatever.
Had M- watch Nighty Night which he liked too, thankfully. It's a brit show and it had the darkest humor from anything I've seen. You wouldn't know if you'd feel guilty or just laugh with some things that went on in the show. So yea, went to sleep around 3 and got woken up around 7:30 since one of the dogs, Ging- came back. Then, an hour later a sherriff called saying that he found Pep- tangled up by a wire fence. It was Pep- that had M-'s contact info but it was nice to have all three back. I was still sleepy so stayed in bed though all three dogs joined in too, after they got to eat since the two were starving after being gone for a day and a half. (Getting sleepy now so will go to bed. This was longer than what I intended to write :) and that was just part of the weekend)
Monday, October 30, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
Strangers with me
Well the 'war game' ended right on Midnight Thursday so got to go home right after coming back for lunch. We worked twelve hours shifts this week, and were given two hour lunches so it wasn't too bad. The first night was kinda funny how we didn't have any tables, chairs or anything. So we had to sit on the ground struggling to stay awake. We just had 'simulated' chairs, while I had a simulated bed since I was sprawled out on the grass. We were inside a tent though so it helped keep the breeze out since it got really cold.
I brought in my laptop the second night so that helped to pass time. There would be influx of people around 4-7 pm which is usually when shift change happens. Then die down for a bit, then some come in around midnight. It's around this time that the 'attacks' usually happen. Since I'm a non player (doesn't participate in the exercise), I don't need to do anything but for those who are, they had to put on their gas mask and gloves and hide (usually under a desk if you're in the office or under a roof/concrete (if you're outdoors). During that time, you'll have to stay in the same spot and not do anything. Not even walk around the office like everything was fine. You've been attacked, take cover!! I remember how at my old base that we usually end up napping during these times. The attack mode would last a few hours at times, and napping's the most that we could do, for the night shifters.
It wasn't bad at all, eventhough it felt like temping. I had to work with people I didn't know, so crash course in getting to know them and find things to talk about. Surprisingly it was fun though I was quiet at first but broke out of the shell eventually. I had to work with four other people, so had to take it slow though and talk to only one of them at first. I'm not a big fan of group conversations where it's like playing ping pong, somebody picking right up where another one left off. I got a bit annoyed since one kid kept calling me out when I was quiet or kinda keeping to myself. Why are you quiet (last name!?) What are you doing __!? What's that you're reading ?! What are you thinking!? Gah, leave me alone but at the same time glad he's asking me. Yea, I can be a weirdo. He was the one who loved Arrested Development and Strangers with Candy though so he earned bonus points for that. That was all I had on my laptop, well Spongebob too. So it's not really something "guys" would wanna watch. During the attacks, since the tent was a transition point, some people opted to hang around instead of donning on their mask. Pretty much all of them ended up liking the show, though the first thing out of their mouths is "God!! Her face!!" Even people who were sitting behind the laptop ended up moving their chairs to see what Jerril was all about (smiles).
I stayed up 'til about 5 a.m. just talking to my cousin after getting home four and a half hours prior. I don't even remember what we talk about sometimes. Just different things, what we think about our situation, things that happened, family, relationships, just about anything really. Some people find our relationship weird but I can say she's a friend of mine too. We bonded after I stayed with them for two years. Then after me joining the military, her following suit about a year and a half later. Her job sucked though so feel bad for her but all I can tell her it'll be all over in the morning. Like Iyanla said, even if that morning lasts for months or even years, things eventually get better. At one point though, I put a damp on our relationship when she was with me in Japan. She ended up "vacationing" for three months. So it's us two, in a 10x1 5 room. It drove me nuts after a while. And I just go silent and not speak to her in that little space we are in. After she left, I regretted doing that to her. That was the same thing that about killed me when her dad did that, and there I was doing the same thing that I told myself I would never do to people. I apologized over it, and we're okay now. When my emotions get the best of me though, I still cry about the past and the things I did and didn't do. I've asked for forgiveness, and it's up to the people I've made amends to whether to accept it or reject it. I can only move on.
It was a good weekend though. That Thursday evening, I've also been texting this one girl Rav-. We've been e-mailing each other couple of weeks prior when she was still in Washington, before she made the move here to the area to be with her boyfriend. That's lovely, moving cross country to be with the one you love (smiles)
Well we kinda got to know each other after she e-mailed about the mattress I was selling. With my impending move (which I thought was gonnabe Florida), I was gonna get rid of my furnitures and just keep the essential things. It's silly how sometimes I get the idea of trying to get it down to a suitcase worth, and have a new beginning. A suitcase is all I had when I moved to the U.S. and sometimes when I look around, I wonder in amazement how I've accumulated all these things. Of course, I'm thankful though I try not to get attached to them. Most of the things we 'think' we need, we really don't. Everything that's important is kept in a place that no one else can take away from you.
Oh dear. Come Friday, I woke up around noon and got a phone call from my manager asking why I didn't come in to work that morning. He heard that it ENDEX (exercise ended) around midnight, and so I should have gone to work like some folks that he knew. Explained to him that even though it ended 12 am, I can't expect to just go home and fall right to sleep and wake up the next day to work a regular shift. All I can say is sorry since it's a no-win situation. He's higher ranking than I am, and that's pretty much all that matters with my current field of work. He's a good guy otherwise, though guess he get stressed out with the way things go at work. So after that, I kinda was cursing the mil. I had to get ready though since I was meeting Rav- later on that afternoon. For the life of me, I was regretting asking her to hang out. This is someone I've never met and wasn't even sure if we had anything in common. But hey, only one way to find out right? She's new here, so I thought I'd show her around or something with whatever knowledge I have of the area. And it went well! We hang out for about four hours (not that I'm keeping track of time). Just walked around the mall, then took her with me to the Apple store to get a video iPod since my older one died (it started working the day after, but M-'s buying it now so it's all good) I asked her if I should get warranty, and she looked at me like I was crazy. Ah yea, you definitely would want that was what she told me. So off to the cashier I went, and paid it off. Reminding him during that I get a discount since I'm affilated with so and so.... After that, we made our way out to the parking lot. But that was before we passed by a father and son as we neared the exit.
I'd say Filipino since there's tons in this area because of the naval base. The dad had his son sitting on his shoulder, the kid probably around 3 or 4 yrs old. The kid looked at me and right when we met each other's gaze, the first thing out of his mouth was "What's up Dawg!?" It was soo adorable, him covering his mouth right after he said it. All three of us adults just busted out laughing since that just came out of nowhere. That made me glad I went to hang with Rav- since none of this would have happened if I wasn't with her. After leaving the mall, drove her around Downtown Norfolk, then took her to Ghent (a neighborhood I've come to love). They have these cafes and restaurants around the neighborhood, though what got me was the Naro Cinema. One of those theaters that show independent films and subtitled movies. Yay. It was where I got to see Strangers With Candy, and Mrs Palfrey at the Claremont. Then in the upcoming weekend, Rocky Horror Picture Show? Ra- told me that I should go after I let her in to the fact I've never watched the movie. We were trying to find in the pamphlet as to when they'll show it, though we felt silly looking up and saw in bold black letters in front of us the days it'll be playing. We walked around the neighborhood for a bit, checking out crafts store where you get to paint your own ceramic, and a store that had home decors, and random knick knacks. After that, we left and headed back to the mall where we met up. Stood around the parking lot just talking, her telling me what happened to their truck that got messed up by a pole. A good time was had by both of us, and I felt good when she said that she's glad to have made a friend on her own, and not through her boyfriend. I raq! Hehe
Ra- drove off and inside the mall I went and phoned M- so I can see him....
I brought in my laptop the second night so that helped to pass time. There would be influx of people around 4-7 pm which is usually when shift change happens. Then die down for a bit, then some come in around midnight. It's around this time that the 'attacks' usually happen. Since I'm a non player (doesn't participate in the exercise), I don't need to do anything but for those who are, they had to put on their gas mask and gloves and hide (usually under a desk if you're in the office or under a roof/concrete (if you're outdoors). During that time, you'll have to stay in the same spot and not do anything. Not even walk around the office like everything was fine. You've been attacked, take cover!! I remember how at my old base that we usually end up napping during these times. The attack mode would last a few hours at times, and napping's the most that we could do, for the night shifters.
It wasn't bad at all, eventhough it felt like temping. I had to work with people I didn't know, so crash course in getting to know them and find things to talk about. Surprisingly it was fun though I was quiet at first but broke out of the shell eventually. I had to work with four other people, so had to take it slow though and talk to only one of them at first. I'm not a big fan of group conversations where it's like playing ping pong, somebody picking right up where another one left off. I got a bit annoyed since one kid kept calling me out when I was quiet or kinda keeping to myself. Why are you quiet (last name!?) What are you doing __!? What's that you're reading ?! What are you thinking!? Gah, leave me alone but at the same time glad he's asking me. Yea, I can be a weirdo. He was the one who loved Arrested Development and Strangers with Candy though so he earned bonus points for that. That was all I had on my laptop, well Spongebob too. So it's not really something "guys" would wanna watch. During the attacks, since the tent was a transition point, some people opted to hang around instead of donning on their mask. Pretty much all of them ended up liking the show, though the first thing out of their mouths is "God!! Her face!!" Even people who were sitting behind the laptop ended up moving their chairs to see what Jerril was all about (smiles).
I stayed up 'til about 5 a.m. just talking to my cousin after getting home four and a half hours prior. I don't even remember what we talk about sometimes. Just different things, what we think about our situation, things that happened, family, relationships, just about anything really. Some people find our relationship weird but I can say she's a friend of mine too. We bonded after I stayed with them for two years. Then after me joining the military, her following suit about a year and a half later. Her job sucked though so feel bad for her but all I can tell her it'll be all over in the morning. Like Iyanla said, even if that morning lasts for months or even years, things eventually get better. At one point though, I put a damp on our relationship when she was with me in Japan. She ended up "vacationing" for three months. So it's us two, in a 10x1 5 room. It drove me nuts after a while. And I just go silent and not speak to her in that little space we are in. After she left, I regretted doing that to her. That was the same thing that about killed me when her dad did that, and there I was doing the same thing that I told myself I would never do to people. I apologized over it, and we're okay now. When my emotions get the best of me though, I still cry about the past and the things I did and didn't do. I've asked for forgiveness, and it's up to the people I've made amends to whether to accept it or reject it. I can only move on.
It was a good weekend though. That Thursday evening, I've also been texting this one girl Rav-. We've been e-mailing each other couple of weeks prior when she was still in Washington, before she made the move here to the area to be with her boyfriend. That's lovely, moving cross country to be with the one you love (smiles)
Well we kinda got to know each other after she e-mailed about the mattress I was selling. With my impending move (which I thought was gonnabe Florida), I was gonna get rid of my furnitures and just keep the essential things. It's silly how sometimes I get the idea of trying to get it down to a suitcase worth, and have a new beginning. A suitcase is all I had when I moved to the U.S. and sometimes when I look around, I wonder in amazement how I've accumulated all these things. Of course, I'm thankful though I try not to get attached to them. Most of the things we 'think' we need, we really don't. Everything that's important is kept in a place that no one else can take away from you.
Oh dear. Come Friday, I woke up around noon and got a phone call from my manager asking why I didn't come in to work that morning. He heard that it ENDEX (exercise ended) around midnight, and so I should have gone to work like some folks that he knew. Explained to him that even though it ended 12 am, I can't expect to just go home and fall right to sleep and wake up the next day to work a regular shift. All I can say is sorry since it's a no-win situation. He's higher ranking than I am, and that's pretty much all that matters with my current field of work. He's a good guy otherwise, though guess he get stressed out with the way things go at work. So after that, I kinda was cursing the mil. I had to get ready though since I was meeting Rav- later on that afternoon. For the life of me, I was regretting asking her to hang out. This is someone I've never met and wasn't even sure if we had anything in common. But hey, only one way to find out right? She's new here, so I thought I'd show her around or something with whatever knowledge I have of the area. And it went well! We hang out for about four hours (not that I'm keeping track of time). Just walked around the mall, then took her with me to the Apple store to get a video iPod since my older one died (it started working the day after, but M-'s buying it now so it's all good) I asked her if I should get warranty, and she looked at me like I was crazy. Ah yea, you definitely would want that was what she told me. So off to the cashier I went, and paid it off. Reminding him during that I get a discount since I'm affilated with so and so.... After that, we made our way out to the parking lot. But that was before we passed by a father and son as we neared the exit.
I'd say Filipino since there's tons in this area because of the naval base. The dad had his son sitting on his shoulder, the kid probably around 3 or 4 yrs old. The kid looked at me and right when we met each other's gaze, the first thing out of his mouth was "What's up Dawg!?" It was soo adorable, him covering his mouth right after he said it. All three of us adults just busted out laughing since that just came out of nowhere. That made me glad I went to hang with Rav- since none of this would have happened if I wasn't with her. After leaving the mall, drove her around Downtown Norfolk, then took her to Ghent (a neighborhood I've come to love). They have these cafes and restaurants around the neighborhood, though what got me was the Naro Cinema. One of those theaters that show independent films and subtitled movies. Yay. It was where I got to see Strangers With Candy, and Mrs Palfrey at the Claremont. Then in the upcoming weekend, Rocky Horror Picture Show? Ra- told me that I should go after I let her in to the fact I've never watched the movie. We were trying to find in the pamphlet as to when they'll show it, though we felt silly looking up and saw in bold black letters in front of us the days it'll be playing. We walked around the neighborhood for a bit, checking out crafts store where you get to paint your own ceramic, and a store that had home decors, and random knick knacks. After that, we left and headed back to the mall where we met up. Stood around the parking lot just talking, her telling me what happened to their truck that got messed up by a pole. A good time was had by both of us, and I felt good when she said that she's glad to have made a friend on her own, and not through her boyfriend. I raq! Hehe
Ra- drove off and inside the mall I went and phoned M- so I can see him....
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Nights....
After working days last Sunday, I had to adapt right the next day and do the evening shift. It'll just be for this week though, working twelve hours which can be a drag at times. They had to have even one person at work over the weekend and I volunteered for Sunday to get it over it, earning me a comp day which I got to use last Friday for the interview instead of taking leave/vacation.
It's weird how this whole time I kept wishing if I could just be at work all by myself, I'll be happy. Won't let that happen again!! It wasn't as great as I had it envisioned. It got lonely just sitting there with nobody to talk to. I brought some DVD's to watch, and books to re-read bu really didn't get to any of them. I watched Wallace and Gromit's first 10 minutes but stopped it since I didn't want something playing in the background while I ate. I like the quiet sometimes. Just sitthing there thoughts running through my head, wondering about things.
I pretty much stayed the same spot those 12 hours I worked. At one point, I got close to calling people I know just so I can have somebody to talk to. The feeling went away so that was a good thing. Mostly spent the rest of the day tweaking my iPod which is now dead, working on my mom's paperwork, setting up some spreadsheets, and just going through a bud's archive. I thought about posting with ALL that downtime I had but just sat there, and endeed up not writing anything. Funny how sometimes I think my life's too boring I'll fall asleep just writing about goings-on or the lack of it. It's all in my head though, and I think that happens when I think the others are living a more exciting life. But at the same time, what brings us joy and/or happiness varies from one person to another so it can't really be compared. That's stupid when I do that.
Anyways, with the mom thing, I'm just trying to get her paperwork done and over with which hopefully is in the very last stages. She's more than likely gonna be staying with my aunt (her sister) instead of me. This warrants a post of it's own, to go along with one I started two months ago. I wish I can go back to a day where I didn't judge my parents, and just love them for who they are. I tell myself they tried the best they can with what they have, but sometimes I can't help to think differently. Maybe it wasn't as easy as I think it was, or it might have been, there's really no way of knowing.
Anyway, for this week I'm part of an exercise where we 'play war.' Good thing I'm a non-player though which means I don't have to put on a gas mask or anything if we get 'attacked.' I'm an entry control point guy, making sure that people have all their equipment, and that it's labelled correctly. Lots of people go through the tent, and it's fun getting to look at some. Cute guys, and gals (mostly guys :). We have to brief them as to what's been happening, and advice them on what gears to wear. With the labelling, one goes on the right breast pocket and I've had to actually write their names down on a tape, then stick it on their chest. Ooolala. Especially if they're cute. I develop like 20-sec crushes but it kinda goes away so that's a good thing. Though I'd have to admit I have a thing when someone that wears a flight suit. I remember it making my goal to sleep with one who does, but I'm kinda over that. It hasn't been too bad though, working the entry control point. Though sometimes like today, I just wanted to stretch out on the floor and sleep. Hey, at least now we had chairs and tables! Last night, we didn't have any so ended up sitting on the grass. It's 4 pm to 4 am and it's a little over 5 so I'm going to bed now.
I actually haven't talked with the company I interviewed for. It was supposed to be Monday, but the recruiter e-mailed saying he didn't know anything yet so will get back to me when he does. Come Tuesday, he called twice but I ended up missing his calls since I was busy letting people in. He said he'll call again tomorrow so will see. It's a bit hard to say what the outcome was because it was hard to tell with his voice. So will see tomorrow.
My eyes is about ready to shut so will go to bed now before I type up random letters that doesn't make sense.
P.S.
I finally got to talk to the recruiter today, 1321 after playing tag all day yesterday and he said that the agency's having a tough time making their decision. It's down to me and one other guy so yea, they will make the final decision later on today. The recruiter said he has a good feeling they'd pick me, but really can't get my hopes. I'm thinking positive, but at the same time, not having high expectations. If that makes sense. Having expectations is a sure way to disappointment, and I think not having any, or barely any makes life more surprising since you never know what's around the corner.
It's weird how this whole time I kept wishing if I could just be at work all by myself, I'll be happy. Won't let that happen again!! It wasn't as great as I had it envisioned. It got lonely just sitting there with nobody to talk to. I brought some DVD's to watch, and books to re-read bu really didn't get to any of them. I watched Wallace and Gromit's first 10 minutes but stopped it since I didn't want something playing in the background while I ate. I like the quiet sometimes. Just sitthing there thoughts running through my head, wondering about things.
I pretty much stayed the same spot those 12 hours I worked. At one point, I got close to calling people I know just so I can have somebody to talk to. The feeling went away so that was a good thing. Mostly spent the rest of the day tweaking my iPod which is now dead, working on my mom's paperwork, setting up some spreadsheets, and just going through a bud's archive. I thought about posting with ALL that downtime I had but just sat there, and endeed up not writing anything. Funny how sometimes I think my life's too boring I'll fall asleep just writing about goings-on or the lack of it. It's all in my head though, and I think that happens when I think the others are living a more exciting life. But at the same time, what brings us joy and/or happiness varies from one person to another so it can't really be compared. That's stupid when I do that.
Anyways, with the mom thing, I'm just trying to get her paperwork done and over with which hopefully is in the very last stages. She's more than likely gonna be staying with my aunt (her sister) instead of me. This warrants a post of it's own, to go along with one I started two months ago. I wish I can go back to a day where I didn't judge my parents, and just love them for who they are. I tell myself they tried the best they can with what they have, but sometimes I can't help to think differently. Maybe it wasn't as easy as I think it was, or it might have been, there's really no way of knowing.
Anyway, for this week I'm part of an exercise where we 'play war.' Good thing I'm a non-player though which means I don't have to put on a gas mask or anything if we get 'attacked.' I'm an entry control point guy, making sure that people have all their equipment, and that it's labelled correctly. Lots of people go through the tent, and it's fun getting to look at some. Cute guys, and gals (mostly guys :). We have to brief them as to what's been happening, and advice them on what gears to wear. With the labelling, one goes on the right breast pocket and I've had to actually write their names down on a tape, then stick it on their chest. Ooolala. Especially if they're cute. I develop like 20-sec crushes but it kinda goes away so that's a good thing. Though I'd have to admit I have a thing when someone that wears a flight suit. I remember it making my goal to sleep with one who does, but I'm kinda over that. It hasn't been too bad though, working the entry control point. Though sometimes like today, I just wanted to stretch out on the floor and sleep. Hey, at least now we had chairs and tables! Last night, we didn't have any so ended up sitting on the grass. It's 4 pm to 4 am and it's a little over 5 so I'm going to bed now.
I actually haven't talked with the company I interviewed for. It was supposed to be Monday, but the recruiter e-mailed saying he didn't know anything yet so will get back to me when he does. Come Tuesday, he called twice but I ended up missing his calls since I was busy letting people in. He said he'll call again tomorrow so will see. It's a bit hard to say what the outcome was because it was hard to tell with his voice. So will see tomorrow.
My eyes is about ready to shut so will go to bed now before I type up random letters that doesn't make sense.
P.S.
I finally got to talk to the recruiter today, 1321 after playing tag all day yesterday and he said that the agency's having a tough time making their decision. It's down to me and one other guy so yea, they will make the final decision later on today. The recruiter said he has a good feeling they'd pick me, but really can't get my hopes. I'm thinking positive, but at the same time, not having high expectations. If that makes sense. Having expectations is a sure way to disappointment, and I think not having any, or barely any makes life more surprising since you never know what's around the corner.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Me soo hor... sleepy
I'm trying to stay awake since I will be working night shift tomorrow but I can't hold it any longer. The bed's calling me. Interview went okay last Friday. I wasn't sure if I wanted the position, then I saw the area and kinda fell for it. It was just lovely. Park right across the building, with a fountain that you can just sit by during whenever. Tomorrow is when they're gonna make a decision as to who they'll be wanting to come aboard. My friend JT said they'll call whether I'll get an offer or not. I probably won't answer when somebody calls since I gotta run some errands anyways.. It's like I wanna get it but I don't. Yep, way to confuse the universe. More when I wake up early.. If a guy say 'that's my boy' and calls me baby, does that make it official? Teehee
Have a good week ahead of ya.
Have a good week ahead of ya.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
I've got something to say...
Last week was the start of our regular schedule and I'm gonna have to say that it's been kicking my ass.. Monday, I woke up 0630 when I should have been at work 30 minutes prior. Called in and told my Staff Sergeant (SSgt) that I'm gonnabe a just a little bit late. So got showered, put on my uniform, grabbed some oatmeal and off to work I went. Kinda good that I live only about 10 mins away from the base. The most traffic I would encounter is people trying to get on base, which can take 10-20 mins just to get through the gates. I finally got to come in at 0715, and I was actually forgiven since the SSgt said that it was our first day with the new schedule so it's okay.
Our new hours is 0600-1500 so it's not too bad. Got home, and kinda forced myself to run. I usually follow the road leading to downtown, though it seems that it's a non-exciting one. There's barely any businesses/company's even in the area so yea. It's nice though running through the bridge over the river, so that's a reason why I run there. Though the chances of running into people doing the same thing, is slim to none. When I was crossing the street, despite of the no crossing sign, I was trying to do it too quickly that I ended up losing my footing for a brief moment. I kinda giggled thinking how silly that was, and went on as if nothing happened. After getting to the other side however, I looked at this one car with the guy yelling HAH! I SAW THAT!!! so I just grinned and kept on running.
Well Tuesday, I woke up early with a lot of time to spare and was really glad about
that. I arrived at work early, though when I was crossing the street, I saw my coworker walking in and all I can utter was Ooops. With it being a Tuesday, we were supposed to come in to work with this uniform with my camouflage on, instead of wearing the blues which pretty much everybody hates. I like it on the other hand, since I feel all professional going to work in a tie. Will post a pic later on to show the difference between the two.
Last, last weekend was actually good, not that my days off have been bad. I usually just stay home when I'm off, and watch movies or just lay around and do nothing. That's the greatest! I'm not much of a busy bee guy, and don't try to find stuff to do just because. (Two weeks ago) So Friday, after finding out I have the weekend free and coming home, I was really antsy and didn't know what to do. I had one of those days where I was wanting to do something, no matter what as long as it got me out of the house. I could have called my friends but I didn't. Instead I got on g.com, and went to the chatroom to see how it'll go. I log in, but really don't initiate conversations since I kinda suck at it. I'd start talking to someone and just run out of things to say sooo yea.. M- messaged greeting me 'Hi! Happy Friday :D' so that made me laugh. We probably talked for about two hours, though he got quiet here and there. And me having that antsy feeling, I kept on talking and talking and trying to get him to hang out. It's not that I like like him, but I just had that feeling of wanting to get out of the house, yet not be myself if I do so. It's not that I don't like my company, but it's nice to step out of the bubble and meet some new folks. I was even singing Abba's song Take a chance on me, well just the Take a chance take a chance take a take a chance since he was hesitant about meeting me.
He actually told me later on that the reason was that he thought I was just coming over so I can drink some of his wine, and that'll be it. He said since after he mentioned wine, that's when it looked like I got all excited over going to his house and hanging out.. Jeeez. Written words sure can be misinterpreted sometime.. Will tell more later but I've finally broken out of the one-meet policy I seem to have with guys. I've actually seen him twice after our first meeting. Second time was that Sunday where I got lost for an hour and a half going back and forth on the interstate. But I still stopped by. At one point, wherever I was was really close to where I lived that M- told me to just go home and call it a night. I said no, I've been driving all this time so might as well stop by. It would have been all in vain if I just went home, ya know. Though that happening frustrated me, I felt better after seeing him. I was at his place 'til about midnight which brought about me being late to work as previously mentioned.
There's been other things in my mind lately, and will tell more one of the next few days. Just things going through my head. Family, friends, career change..Actually this Friday, I'm going back up to the DC area to do another interview with this one company. The first time was with the manager of the hiring company (oh which by the way surprised me how good I did at the interview) I can't even imagine the thoughts popping up in my head as I was driving. Oh my god, what's gonna happen if my car breaks down? What if I get into accident and would have to call them to cancel? So much for positive thinking!! Hahaha I did well enough to warrant a second interview :) This second time around though, I'll be meeting up with the hiring manager once again, to go to the actual agency i MIGHT be working for. See what the actual workcenter is going to be, though I have a feeling it'll be another windowless office (T_T) They tend to drive me nuts sometimes since it makes me miss just looking at the sun or the things going on outside. I'm gonna be meeting the actual people I will be working with/for. Somehow I really feel good about this position. The past week or so though, sorta questioning whether I wouldn't mind doing tech support once again. Sorta getting frustrated at work, which was a rare thing for me to happen. I get easily contented wherever I'm put, but it's being kept out of the loop that was driving me nuts.
But I think, with being a civilian, I'll feel freer knowing that I can up and quit if I'm not happy with the way things are going. Coz with the current situation, they'll pretty much tell ya to get over it since you knew what you're getting into after joining. Ha! If I knew, I wouldn't have joined in the first place. Haha It's been good in the long run. Five weeks to go before I'm out. Woohooo!!
It's actually been about a year now since I first started this good ole. And for that, I'm glad that I kept on though I got really close to getting rid of it right after I started it. I freaked out when I thought I might have pissed a blogger over something I wrote. But anyways, though there hasn't been more entries as there could have been. Just thought I'd say thanks to you guys, and gals namely: Robert, Matt, Rey, Jon, Mush, Dessie, Cesar, Joy, and Mike. Thanks for letting us peek into your lives. It's great to have known you so far :) And also, for reading mine, of course. Taking notice of a boy, and giving him a sense of belonging in this cyberspace. Thanks!
Our new hours is 0600-1500 so it's not too bad. Got home, and kinda forced myself to run. I usually follow the road leading to downtown, though it seems that it's a non-exciting one. There's barely any businesses/company's even in the area so yea. It's nice though running through the bridge over the river, so that's a reason why I run there. Though the chances of running into people doing the same thing, is slim to none. When I was crossing the street, despite of the no crossing sign, I was trying to do it too quickly that I ended up losing my footing for a brief moment. I kinda giggled thinking how silly that was, and went on as if nothing happened. After getting to the other side however, I looked at this one car with the guy yelling HAH! I SAW THAT!!! so I just grinned and kept on running.
Well Tuesday, I woke up early with a lot of time to spare and was really glad about
that. I arrived at work early, though when I was crossing the street, I saw my coworker walking in and all I can utter was Ooops. With it being a Tuesday, we were supposed to come in to work with this uniform with my camouflage on, instead of wearing the blues which pretty much everybody hates. I like it on the other hand, since I feel all professional going to work in a tie. Will post a pic later on to show the difference between the two.
Last, last weekend was actually good, not that my days off have been bad. I usually just stay home when I'm off, and watch movies or just lay around and do nothing. That's the greatest! I'm not much of a busy bee guy, and don't try to find stuff to do just because. (Two weeks ago) So Friday, after finding out I have the weekend free and coming home, I was really antsy and didn't know what to do. I had one of those days where I was wanting to do something, no matter what as long as it got me out of the house. I could have called my friends but I didn't. Instead I got on g.com, and went to the chatroom to see how it'll go. I log in, but really don't initiate conversations since I kinda suck at it. I'd start talking to someone and just run out of things to say sooo yea.. M- messaged greeting me 'Hi! Happy Friday :D' so that made me laugh. We probably talked for about two hours, though he got quiet here and there. And me having that antsy feeling, I kept on talking and talking and trying to get him to hang out. It's not that I like like him, but I just had that feeling of wanting to get out of the house, yet not be myself if I do so. It's not that I don't like my company, but it's nice to step out of the bubble and meet some new folks. I was even singing Abba's song Take a chance on me, well just the Take a chance take a chance take a take a chance since he was hesitant about meeting me.
He actually told me later on that the reason was that he thought I was just coming over so I can drink some of his wine, and that'll be it. He said since after he mentioned wine, that's when it looked like I got all excited over going to his house and hanging out.. Jeeez. Written words sure can be misinterpreted sometime.. Will tell more later but I've finally broken out of the one-meet policy I seem to have with guys. I've actually seen him twice after our first meeting. Second time was that Sunday where I got lost for an hour and a half going back and forth on the interstate. But I still stopped by. At one point, wherever I was was really close to where I lived that M- told me to just go home and call it a night. I said no, I've been driving all this time so might as well stop by. It would have been all in vain if I just went home, ya know. Though that happening frustrated me, I felt better after seeing him. I was at his place 'til about midnight which brought about me being late to work as previously mentioned.
There's been other things in my mind lately, and will tell more one of the next few days. Just things going through my head. Family, friends, career change..Actually this Friday, I'm going back up to the DC area to do another interview with this one company. The first time was with the manager of the hiring company (oh which by the way surprised me how good I did at the interview) I can't even imagine the thoughts popping up in my head as I was driving. Oh my god, what's gonna happen if my car breaks down? What if I get into accident and would have to call them to cancel? So much for positive thinking!! Hahaha I did well enough to warrant a second interview :) This second time around though, I'll be meeting up with the hiring manager once again, to go to the actual agency i MIGHT be working for. See what the actual workcenter is going to be, though I have a feeling it'll be another windowless office (T_T) They tend to drive me nuts sometimes since it makes me miss just looking at the sun or the things going on outside. I'm gonna be meeting the actual people I will be working with/for. Somehow I really feel good about this position. The past week or so though, sorta questioning whether I wouldn't mind doing tech support once again. Sorta getting frustrated at work, which was a rare thing for me to happen. I get easily contented wherever I'm put, but it's being kept out of the loop that was driving me nuts.
But I think, with being a civilian, I'll feel freer knowing that I can up and quit if I'm not happy with the way things are going. Coz with the current situation, they'll pretty much tell ya to get over it since you knew what you're getting into after joining. Ha! If I knew, I wouldn't have joined in the first place. Haha It's been good in the long run. Five weeks to go before I'm out. Woohooo!!
It's actually been about a year now since I first started this good ole. And for that, I'm glad that I kept on though I got really close to getting rid of it right after I started it. I freaked out when I thought I might have pissed a blogger over something I wrote. But anyways, though there hasn't been more entries as there could have been. Just thought I'd say thanks to you guys, and gals namely: Robert, Matt, Rey, Jon, Mush, Dessie, Cesar, Joy, and Mike. Thanks for letting us peek into your lives. It's great to have known you so far :) And also, for reading mine, of course. Taking notice of a boy, and giving him a sense of belonging in this cyberspace. Thanks!
Sunday, October 8, 2006
You hear me!?
This is going around the internet. Might be funny to some, might not be... Everybody want a piece of my chicken...
Thursday, October 5, 2006
Monday, October 2, 2006
Suddenly I See
Ok, been working on breaking the habit of being a love 'em and leave 'em guy. After getting some insights from a few folks, I'm starting to realize that that's what I've actually been doing. Me and my friend MJ talked about it more when we were having lunch at Panera Bread. We actually haven't seen each other in months which is partly my fault for not making it clear that I've changed my cellphone number and so she's been sending messages on my old phone, wondering why I wasn't responding. And here I was, thinking doesn't she wanna be friends with me anymore? That beach!! Everything's clear now and we pretty much spent the whole Sudnay together. Have lunch (after debating for an hour where to go), walk around and just talk about what's been going on in our lives.
I actually had the weekend off for a change, and I feel 'normal' again having a regular weekend off. I was gonna go out Friday evening, but ended up meeting this one guy I spoke with that afternoon. I really didn't think of it as a date, it's just hanging out in my book, but it lasted for hmm, a whole day and a half? The whole Friday night and all day Saturday. I went home Saturday evening and saw MJ Sunday. I told her about M-, the guy that I met and she was actually excited over it. She had to coax me to text him back after he sent me a message since I have a history of meeting a guy once, and leaving it at that. Pretty much cutting ties right after when I sense that they like me. It's not so nice thing to do, but trying to break out of it. It's insecurity issues, MJ said which is probably true. What it comes down to is that if somebody shows interest in me, I get away from them as far as they could. With the guys I've gone to dates with, I'm a bit freaked out when they like me already after going out once. All I can think of is if that's even possible? Of course it is. But I can't wrap my head around the notion that someone would fall for me after just having met me once. It's silly but I can't help it. MJ labeled me a heartbreaker which is something I try to avoid at all cost. I've had mine broken once and it was someone that I wasn't even in a relationship with. Yea, that really stung I got wasted over him since it hurt really bad when he didn't see me when he came back to Japan. Businessmen tsk tsk tsk
Just spoke to M- an hour ago. Ended up speaking to him for half an hour, he mentioned that he told his peeps at work about the guy that he just went out on a 25-hr date this past weekend lol. So hmm.. It's kinda odd how I let my cousin Nani, and my friend MJ speak to him on the phone at different times, and they actually like him. Just trying to keep this short since y'all know how I get carried away *wink Oh, M doesn't know I MIGHT be leaving come 7 weeks from now.
I actually had the weekend off for a change, and I feel 'normal' again having a regular weekend off. I was gonna go out Friday evening, but ended up meeting this one guy I spoke with that afternoon. I really didn't think of it as a date, it's just hanging out in my book, but it lasted for hmm, a whole day and a half? The whole Friday night and all day Saturday. I went home Saturday evening and saw MJ Sunday. I told her about M-, the guy that I met and she was actually excited over it. She had to coax me to text him back after he sent me a message since I have a history of meeting a guy once, and leaving it at that. Pretty much cutting ties right after when I sense that they like me. It's not so nice thing to do, but trying to break out of it. It's insecurity issues, MJ said which is probably true. What it comes down to is that if somebody shows interest in me, I get away from them as far as they could. With the guys I've gone to dates with, I'm a bit freaked out when they like me already after going out once. All I can think of is if that's even possible? Of course it is. But I can't wrap my head around the notion that someone would fall for me after just having met me once. It's silly but I can't help it. MJ labeled me a heartbreaker which is something I try to avoid at all cost. I've had mine broken once and it was someone that I wasn't even in a relationship with. Yea, that really stung I got wasted over him since it hurt really bad when he didn't see me when he came back to Japan. Businessmen tsk tsk tsk
Just spoke to M- an hour ago. Ended up speaking to him for half an hour, he mentioned that he told his peeps at work about the guy that he just went out on a 25-hr date this past weekend lol. So hmm.. It's kinda odd how I let my cousin Nani, and my friend MJ speak to him on the phone at different times, and they actually like him. Just trying to keep this short since y'all know how I get carried away *wink Oh, M doesn't know I MIGHT be leaving come 7 weeks from now.
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