Suddenly I See

Ok, been working on breaking the habit of being a love 'em and leave 'em guy. After getting some insights from a few folks, I'm starting to realize that that's what I've actually been doing. Me and my friend MJ talked about it more when we were having lunch at Panera Bread. We actually haven't seen each other in months which is partly my fault for not making it clear that I've changed my cellphone number and so she's been sending messages on my old phone, wondering why I wasn't responding. And here I was, thinking doesn't she wanna be friends with me anymore? That beach!! Everything's clear now and we pretty much spent the whole Sudnay together. Have lunch (after debating for an hour where to go), walk around and just talk about what's been going on in our lives.

I actually had the weekend off for a change, and I feel 'normal' again having a regular weekend off. I was gonna go out Friday evening, but ended up meeting this one guy I spoke with that afternoon. I really didn't think of it as a date, it's just hanging out in my book, but it lasted for hmm, a whole day and a half? The whole Friday night and all day Saturday. I went home Saturday evening and saw MJ Sunday. I told her about M-, the guy that I met and she was actually excited over it. She had to coax me to text him back after he sent me a message since I have a history of meeting a guy once, and leaving it at that. Pretty much cutting ties right after when I sense that they like me. It's not so nice thing to do, but trying to break out of it. It's insecurity issues, MJ said which is probably true. What it comes down to is that if somebody shows interest in me, I get away from them as far as they could. With the guys I've gone to dates with, I'm a bit freaked out when they like me already after going out once. All I can think of is if that's even possible? Of course it is. But I can't wrap my head around the notion that someone would fall for me after just having met me once. It's silly but I can't help it. MJ labeled me a heartbreaker which is something I try to avoid at all cost. I've had mine broken once and it was someone that I wasn't even in a relationship with. Yea, that really stung I got wasted over him since it hurt really bad when he didn't see me when he came back to Japan. Businessmen tsk tsk tsk

Just spoke to M- an hour ago. Ended up speaking to him for half an hour, he mentioned that he told his peeps at work about the guy that he just went out on a 25-hr date this past weekend lol. So hmm.. It's kinda odd how I let my cousin Nani, and my friend MJ speak to him on the phone at different times, and they actually like him. Just trying to keep this short since y'all know how I get carried away *wink Oh, M doesn't know I MIGHT be leaving come 7 weeks from now.