This was a post I wrote a day after my birthday but took it down due to circumstances.
Suddenly Monday appears again.. I'm back in our DC office today since my coworker is sick and they needed somebody to cover her spot so here I am. I've been up since 4 since I had to drop Carlos off at the airport so he can catch his flight to Chicago to surprise his parents who are visiting from Puerto Rico.
Well I gave in and got an iphone baabaaa! It was my birthday yesterday so it was a present. I got a white one but sorta wished I would have gotten a black one. My fault since I initially got a black and opted to switch instead. It's taking a little getting used to but looks like I'm loving it so far, aside from adding my contacts in manually. It's nice that I can put videos and whatnot, so Jerri Blank is already in it along with some music videos. Can you tell I love that show?
Saturday was quiet for the most part since I sat around the house doing nothing, grab a book, read a blog, listen to music which is nice. Then that evening, we had dinner and then catched Kung Fu Panda. He hasn't seen it so we went though I think 10 minutes into the movie, I passed out considering we went to the 11:45 pm showing. I've watched it few weeks back but I was so sleepy I even got woken up by my own snore haha.
Sunday, Carlos had to work so ended up spending it with my mom who didn't call in but didn't show at her job. It felt 'new' spending my birthday with her since it's been such a long time. It rained as usual, and we talked about how it always did on my birthday. We remembered how when I was young, she would carry me on her back since she didn't want me to get my shoes wet. We had this yearly thing of going to this one church first thing in the morning then just going to the mall afterwards. It's amazing what the brain remembers, you just have to love/hate it. I remember those times like it was just yesterday, the simple life.
This birthday was definitely better than last year's when there wasn't peace on the quiet front. We had yakiniku (Korean BBQ) at this restaurant Woo Lae Oak. If you ever find yourself in the area and craved some BBQ, this is the place to go. I haven't been to many here in Northern Virginia but this place was gooood. It was us three that had dinner, and it was fun.
There were some crying a bit with my mom saying how it seemed like it was only yesterday that I was born, yada yada. Carlos instigated it saying things that made me teary, how he's glad we're together, and managed to get through everything that we went through (We went through some rough times that I felt best not to write about since there's always gonnabe different sides to the story) then when my mom saw it, she followed suit. I think I get it from her, I'd cry over the little things. When she started crying, I just found it real funny so started laughing and that ended it.
Ya know, I'm thankful for the most part to have made it this far. It might sound weird but I never really looked forward to the day that I hit a certain age. I get there and it's like Wow, I'm this age now. Where did all those years go by? I've said it before but I'm still in awe as to the things I've done, places I've seen, people I've met. Never did I think I would be where I am right now.
Anywho, I've written more than I intended. Will post the pic later to remind myself that this time in '08, I'm with the two people that loves me and that alone is enough.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
I'm learning to dance again
It's one thing to read about things, but to actually go through it is something else. I like reading self-help books and I have this one book which got chewed on by the dogs. Of course, I'll have to get a new one. One that I have is Until Today and it has some passages that strike a chord in me and thought I'd share.
We have all done something that has caused someone pain or discomfort. Often, we are aware of the consequences of our actions. Then there are those times when we don't have a clue about what we've done until someone brings it to our attention. When they do, we feel bad. We believe that we must forever be indebted to the people who have been the victims of our thoughtlessness, negligence, or abuse.
You cannot see people as victims of something you have done. If you do, they will allow you to continue to feel bad. You cannot see people as victims of who you were or of who you are. If you do, you are declaring yourself to be more powerful than you have a right to be in anyone's life. Seeing someone as your victim says that you are somehow responsible for what people believe and do. Thinking this way or feeling this way is going to cause you a tremendous amount of grief unnecessarily!
Regardless of the impact your actions have on anyone, they are not your victim! Think of it this way: we are all dancers in the ballroom of life. Some of us are accomplished dancers. Some of us can't find the beat. When you ask someone to dance, they, not you, choose whether or not they will dance with you. If you step on their toes, ask for forgiveness. Don't buy them a new pair of shoes! If the experience leaves them with the impression that life is not worth dancing, ask for forgiveness. Do not spend the rest of your life trying to force them to dance again. You have no victims! Ask for forgiveness. Make amends if you can. Then, waltz away.
Until today, you have may have believed that you would be forever indebted to others. Just for today, acknowledge those times that you have been thoughtless, negligent or abusive to others. Forgive yourself. Ask for forgiveness and then continue to dance.
Until Today by
Iyanla Vanzant
We have all done something that has caused someone pain or discomfort. Often, we are aware of the consequences of our actions. Then there are those times when we don't have a clue about what we've done until someone brings it to our attention. When they do, we feel bad. We believe that we must forever be indebted to the people who have been the victims of our thoughtlessness, negligence, or abuse.
You cannot see people as victims of something you have done. If you do, they will allow you to continue to feel bad. You cannot see people as victims of who you were or of who you are. If you do, you are declaring yourself to be more powerful than you have a right to be in anyone's life. Seeing someone as your victim says that you are somehow responsible for what people believe and do. Thinking this way or feeling this way is going to cause you a tremendous amount of grief unnecessarily!
Regardless of the impact your actions have on anyone, they are not your victim! Think of it this way: we are all dancers in the ballroom of life. Some of us are accomplished dancers. Some of us can't find the beat. When you ask someone to dance, they, not you, choose whether or not they will dance with you. If you step on their toes, ask for forgiveness. Don't buy them a new pair of shoes! If the experience leaves them with the impression that life is not worth dancing, ask for forgiveness. Do not spend the rest of your life trying to force them to dance again. You have no victims! Ask for forgiveness. Make amends if you can. Then, waltz away.
Until today, you have may have believed that you would be forever indebted to others. Just for today, acknowledge those times that you have been thoughtless, negligent or abusive to others. Forgive yourself. Ask for forgiveness and then continue to dance.
Until Today by
Iyanla Vanzant
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
It's not as easy...
Counting down the days and my mom's gonnabe moving in at our apartment. We're renting a 2-BR, and rather than renting it out to a stranger, my mom will be our housemate. I initially was against it after what went on last summer but I think she's in a completely different place now. She's adjusted living here in the States, and has fully accepted C-. Not that she had any problems with me being gay, it was more of fear that I won't love her as much like I used to which is silly. As much as I'd like to think I don't, my actions says otherwise as one blogger friend puts it.
The apartment is nearing completion, will have to post some pictures up. We got a mirror to go above the couch but not sure how we'll keep it in place so it might be a bit heavy. The living room turned out nice I'd have to say. C- has this head of a buddha that seriously freaks me out after having read Queen of the Damned. Good thing it's not visible when you're watching TV so it'll be alright.
Things are slowly going back to the way it used to be. Something happened that I felt didn't need to be written about here but let's just say my capacity to forgive isn't as easy as I'd hoped. I'll admit I have a hard time forgiving others, let alone myself and what transpired really bothered me. Granted I'm partly responsible for what happened, but still. I'm trying to put it all behind but then, fear would rear its head in and makes me second guess my decision. Either you trust or you don't. And as much I'd like to think I do, having doubts says otherwise. It'll take work but I want to be the Kris I used to be, and trusted completely.
Anyway, we were supposed to see Adele tonight but her show got cancelled. Funny how this ticket outlets work. Paid $53 with the "convenience fees" and such, yet you only get the face value back. But then like I'd stop seeing live shows haha.
Oh, over the weekend, we went with our neighbor to a scavenger hunt but ended up getting sidetracked while in Georgetown. If you find yourself in the area, make sure you stop by Georgetown Cupcake. GD, granted the cupcake's $2.75 each, they are HEAVENLY. You can't not smile after having a Chocolate C2 if you love chocolate.
Well, got tasked to pick up a system so gotta run now. Bye!
The apartment is nearing completion, will have to post some pictures up. We got a mirror to go above the couch but not sure how we'll keep it in place so it might be a bit heavy. The living room turned out nice I'd have to say. C- has this head of a buddha that seriously freaks me out after having read Queen of the Damned. Good thing it's not visible when you're watching TV so it'll be alright.
Things are slowly going back to the way it used to be. Something happened that I felt didn't need to be written about here but let's just say my capacity to forgive isn't as easy as I'd hoped. I'll admit I have a hard time forgiving others, let alone myself and what transpired really bothered me. Granted I'm partly responsible for what happened, but still. I'm trying to put it all behind but then, fear would rear its head in and makes me second guess my decision. Either you trust or you don't. And as much I'd like to think I do, having doubts says otherwise. It'll take work but I want to be the Kris I used to be, and trusted completely.
Anyway, we were supposed to see Adele tonight but her show got cancelled. Funny how this ticket outlets work. Paid $53 with the "convenience fees" and such, yet you only get the face value back. But then like I'd stop seeing live shows haha.
Oh, over the weekend, we went with our neighbor to a scavenger hunt but ended up getting sidetracked while in Georgetown. If you find yourself in the area, make sure you stop by Georgetown Cupcake. GD, granted the cupcake's $2.75 each, they are HEAVENLY. You can't not smile after having a Chocolate C2 if you love chocolate.
Well, got tasked to pick up a system so gotta run now. Bye!
Monday, August 25, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Six Feet Under
To anyone who loves this show or want to own it, Best Buy is selling each season for $19.99. Granted it would be nice to buy the whole series in one box, I checked even at Amazon and it runs around $212 for the gift set, then factor in shipping and handling. Your local Best Buy might have it too so you can make a stop there.
I haven't watched the whole series but loved the ones I've seen so far. There's 3500 minutes of my life :D The show makes me think though, and makes me appreciate being alive more. Though of course, time I could be spending 'living' I'm gonnabe 'watching.' Such an irony haha.
I haven't watched the whole series but loved the ones I've seen so far. There's 3500 minutes of my life :D The show makes me think though, and makes me appreciate being alive more. Though of course, time I could be spending 'living' I'm gonnabe 'watching.' Such an irony haha.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Is it true what they say....
Okay, our neighbor said that a pet sooner or later takes after its owner. She said I look like ours. I've gotten this a few times when I happen to be out and about. Do you think that's true!? The dog's cute so I guess that works haha.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Back to woik
It's Monday and I'm back at our DC office once again. My coworker's in training so I'm subbing for her. I don't mind since it's nice to get away from th e main office and work here where it's a lot more laid back and I kinda do my own thing.
C- was actually gone last week since he went to Chicago to visit his family. Birthday was good, I got an iPhone and we went to a Korean BBQ for dinner. I had a previous post about it but felt it was too emotional so took it down. My mom had me pick a Kenneth Cole shoes, and I went with this style, was told it looks like my shoes got rained on haha but it's too late to return it now.
Thursday, I stopped by my mom's work so I can pick her up and take her to the next one. It was fun, we had a good laugh. We stopped by Rita's Ice and got some custards, yum. We got to talking about relationships and I got custard all over my face because of what she said. It was about our neighbors in the Philippines, and how the mom while crying said "Can you fulfill the need in me?" to her kids about her staying with their dad. It was just funny in Tagalog.. One of those things you had to be there, damnit!
Sunday, we ended up having dinner with this couple that live in our complex, and the girl's sister. They invited me few nights ago for dinner since they knew that C- was gone, and she said she know that it gets lonely when your bf's away. It was nice, we had shishkabob's, and some drinks. Then we let the dogs play for a while. Caeden and their dog look almost identical so he's like Caeden's big brother. We had a talk for a while too, touching on different things. Relationships, work, food, Don't ask, don't tell in the military which is partly why I got out when my time was up.
That's about it really. I interviewed for a job two weeks ago but didn't hear back so guess that's a no go. Ah well, if it wasn't meant to be, it's not gonna happen. That's about it really, some other things happened but best to not talk about it here :)
C- was actually gone last week since he went to Chicago to visit his family. Birthday was good, I got an iPhone and we went to a Korean BBQ for dinner. I had a previous post about it but felt it was too emotional so took it down. My mom had me pick a Kenneth Cole shoes, and I went with this style, was told it looks like my shoes got rained on haha but it's too late to return it now.
Thursday, I stopped by my mom's work so I can pick her up and take her to the next one. It was fun, we had a good laugh. We stopped by Rita's Ice and got some custards, yum. We got to talking about relationships and I got custard all over my face because of what she said. It was about our neighbors in the Philippines, and how the mom while crying said "Can you fulfill the need in me?" to her kids about her staying with their dad. It was just funny in Tagalog.. One of those things you had to be there, damnit!
Sunday, we ended up having dinner with this couple that live in our complex, and the girl's sister. They invited me few nights ago for dinner since they knew that C- was gone, and she said she know that it gets lonely when your bf's away. It was nice, we had shishkabob's, and some drinks. Then we let the dogs play for a while. Caeden and their dog look almost identical so he's like Caeden's big brother. We had a talk for a while too, touching on different things. Relationships, work, food, Don't ask, don't tell in the military which is partly why I got out when my time was up.
That's about it really. I interviewed for a job two weeks ago but didn't hear back so guess that's a no go. Ah well, if it wasn't meant to be, it's not gonna happen. That's about it really, some other things happened but best to not talk about it here :)
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