If you would have listened to Alexys, you would have known that you need to learn your man. But, I found a better way. I found something that can control him*. Got this as a gift for C- last week for his birthday. I think it went well after all. I'm not that great with giving gifts so pretty much got him the remote, a pair of Onitsuka Tiger shoes, and a box of Godiva chocolates. I saw the remote and I just laughed when I saw what the buttons are for.
Then at noon, we got on a cruise that took us around the VA/DC area via the Potomac River. He's been talking about going on for the longest so figured I'll just take him on one instead. The cruise took about 2 1/2 hrs which was nice. We were stuffed! And all we had was a 3-course meal. It's crazy though how they charged for coffee. You'd think it'll be free at least but ah well. After the cruise, we stopped by the mall and got an iMac. I made reservations at a Mexican restaurant but ended up cancelling but the cruise got us filled, and I doubt we would have been able to eat just yet. Went home for a bit then saw Run Fatboy Run later in the evening and called it a day after it was over. Well some of you have met them in person already (D-man , Rey, VUBOQ), and even spoken to him on the phone (mhs), and he said yes so I'm posting a pic of us both.
*I take debit cards and credit cards if you wanna get the remote
Stumbled upon this sheet of paper that a list was written down early 2007. It just kinda made me smile since I've yet to get all of them done, but that just shows I'll always be a work in progress..
1. Set up allotment for savings Got this started but things happened and spent it all 2. Organize/purge paper and folders Still have some here and there though organizing relaxes me weird as that might be, bringing order to my world I guess 3. Take out things not to be used anymoreI was renting a room after having lived in a townhouse the previous year so trying to do with just the basics 4. Blog daily As some can attest, harder than it sounds 5. Look into going to school this March Went back to school June instead 6. Find someone who loves meCurious why I used present tense rather than 'who will love me' 7. Get medical appointment at Whitman I ended up going through a doctor I saw, WWC made me nervous for some reason 8. Apply for a consolidation loan ugh! how could I let this happen Paying it off still 9. Volunteer (change the world in a way) I have, and still doing so 10. Stay happy I succeed on some days
"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. And thank God for that."
No no, I really didn't say that to anyone. Once you watch the video, maybe it'll make you laugh too! It's been almost a week since we went to NYC. My cousin who lives in Colorado flew to Jersey since her gf was there for a training. I haven't seen her since summer of 2006 after having gone to the Philippines for A funeral, that became two. It was nice to see her again. We got there a little bit after midnight last Friday since I was working the late shift and wouldn't get out 'til 8. I left an hour early though but the weather was bad, and having to stop by Petsmart to drop the dog off and all, we didn't hit the road 'til 9:30. C- drove because it's still a bit uncomfortable for me with the surgery and all.
We had to get signed in to the base and all, and just went straight to the hotel. It was fun just chilling with them, watching Lisa Lampanelli's show that I have on my iPod.
Saturday, had an early start since we were going to NYC. It took about an hour and a half each way since we had to drive to the train station, then catch the train from there that'll take us to Penn Station. Got to Penn, then transferred so we can go to Broadway to catch a show. We got there and walked down an avenue before finally asking someone and sure enough, we went the opposite way. It was raining really bad too, so our pants and shoes are pretty much soaked.
We saw Avenue Q which makes it the second time for C- and I. I really can't explain what the show is about since I tried and I sorta looked stupid. It's Sesame Street for adults, that's all I'm gonna say. The song on this video is from this play, and it definitely is true.. Schadenfreude!!! If they come to a city near you, make sure you check 'em out.
GARY COLEMAN: Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy NICKY: I'll say. GARY COLEMAN: And when I see how sad you are It sort of makes me...Happy! NICKY: Happy?! GARY COLEMAN: Sorry, Nicky, human nature-Nothing I can do! It's...Schadenfreude! Making me feel glad that I'm not you. NICKY: Well that's not very nice, Gary! GARY COLEMAN: I didn't say it was nice! But everybody does it! D'ja ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses? NICKY: Yeah... GARY COLEMAN: And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses? NICKY: Sure! GARY COLEMAN: And don'tcha feel all warm and cozy, Watching people out in the rain! NICKY: You bet! GARY COLEMAN: That's... GARY AND NICKY: Schadenfreude! GARY COLEMAN: People taking pleasure in your pain! NICKY: Oh, Schadenfreude, huh? What's that, some kinda Nazi word? GARY COLEMAN: Yup! It's German for "happiness at the misfortune of others!" NICKY: "Happiness at the misfortune of others." That is German! Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken GARY COLEMAN: Or watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in! NICKY: Being on the elevator when somebody shouts "Hold the door!" GARY AND NICKY: "No!!!" Schadenfreude! GARY COLEMAN: "Fuck you lady, that's what stairs are for!" NICKY: Ooh, how about... Straight-A students getting Bs? GARY COLEMAN: Exes getting STDs! NICKY: Waking doormen from their naps! GARY COLEMAN: Watching tourists reading maps! NICKY: Football players getting tackled! GARY COLEMAN: CEOs getting shackled! NICKY: Watching actors never reach GARY AND NICKY: The ending of their oscar speech! Schadenfreude! Schadenfreude! Schadenfreude! Schadenfreude! GARY COLEMAN: The world needs people like you and me who've been knocked around by fate. 'Cause when people see us, they don't want to be us, and that makes them feel great. NICKY: Sure! We provide a vital service to society! GARY AND NICKY: You and me! Schadenfreude! Making the world a better place...Making the world a better place...Making the world a better place... To be! GARY COLEMAN: S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E! After the play, we made our way out to Central Park. It was still lovely eventhough the skies are gray. Took a bunch of pics but cousin has the majority of 'em, I have some Then, we went to Ground Zero and tried to see where the WTC's used to be but alas, they started building on it so (T_T) Then, just went to Japan Town but they opted for Thai so I didn't get to go where Jon took me last time.. Boooo!!! I was seething for a bit but oh well, guess Kris can't have it all. The Thai place was okay, but I was there thinking "Great, I only come up here so often and I didn't get to eat what I wanted."
We walked around for a bit but it was too cold so we just went home. Didn't get to see the stores, no Muji, Uniqlo, NOTHING! The horrible weather messed it up a bit but oh well, I'm still glad we came though, as long as I got to spend time with my cousin, I'm okay.
Sunday, we went to Philly but same, cold and windy so opted to just go to the mall. Guess I'll come back again when it's warmer. Philly's lovely though, not the cheese steak but the city too :D I like South Street's vibe a lot, reminds me of Harajuku. We just went our separate ways after the mall, and I'm glad I didn't feel sad. I guess I just tried to enjoy the weekend for what it was and not think too much as to when I'll see my cousin again. It sucks sometimes, we're pretty much brothers and sisters except it's not official. Eventhough we didn't see each other until we were grown up, I loved her nonetheless. I was told she nicknamed me Poo-Poo when I was a baby. I lived with her and her parents when I moved to Florida, and that's when we became really close.
On the drive back, C- and I stopped at the Waffle House since there isn't any nearby the DC area. The closest one is a 45 min drive, and I'm not sure if I love it enough to drive that long... It was a good drive, just spent it talking about things. Times like this makes the way I feel about C- stronger, that sometimes it scares me. I wonder with not having bf before, it's not so much that I didn't not want to have one, but I'm realizing that it's being vulnerable to something outside myself that bothered me. For them to see through me and learn all my hopes and fears, the things I've gone through, and everything else that makes me me.
That's about it really. Aside from that, work's been good. Had some issues with my car, a nail got one of my tires and had to get it replaced. Took the place 5 days before they got it though, and that whole time I've had to drive using the spare one when I was told I should only drive a day. Nothing else to report though the time change makes me happy. It's nice that the sun lasts longer during the day, I need to get back to a routine like I used to. Get back to going to the gym, volunteer more like I used to.
Soon enough, I'm hoping to put a blog up of sayings, meditations, and quotations that I've come across and liked through the years. I have a box full of them and have yet to actually type 'em up but will start on it soon. Err, I write down who said which though, hopefully they won't try to sue me :) Some just touches me, and some serves as a reminder when I start to forget the things that matter.
If you are waiting for something to happen before you begin what you want to do, it will never happen. If you are waiting to get something before you do what you say what you want to do, you will never get started. If you are waiting for the right time, the right person, the right circumstances, you could be waiting forever. How about this, what can you do right now? Can you write a letter? Make a call? Finish a plan? Structure a goal? Can you pick a name? Paint a wall? Ask a question? Sweep a floor? Can you structure a schedule? Can you project a date? Can you fulfill a promise? Can you read a book? Can you stop doing all the things you do that keep you from doing the one thing you want to do? Can you pray? Can you sing? Can you dance right where you are? Whatever you can do, you better do it now. Now is all you have to work with.
I'm finally back to work yesterday after taking the previous week off. As some of you know, I had a surgery done somewhere *blush. It was an outpatient surgery done back on Monday and I spent pretty much the whole week at the house, only stepping out on Friday to go to class. I wish I can say I have a big thunk, maybe just a little bit. Just being still made me think about things, things I've said and done to people which really aren't the nicest.
It's been a long time since I've actually gone to the hospital. I used to go in a lot when I was younger since I was an accident-prone kid. Breaking my arm after falling off of a tree, my leg when my hand slipped on a monkey bar, bitten by a dog, you name it. Guess I wasn't as good of a kid as I thought. I used to get into all sorts of stuff, well that's only coz I liked to play a lot. Maybe I should get back and try to find activities to do now that I'm older... Playing sure made me forget, even for just a bit, that maybe, what was happening was just temporary and not gonna last forever. It's crazy the things one's mind can remember.
The most major accident I had was when I think I was 6!? We were making balls out of mud and throwing it against the wall and taking them right off and do the same thing. To get to the wall though, we had to get up maybe two feet with a ledge of maybe 3 inches. There's this pointy metal sticks that served as a fence. You can actually see it in the background of this picture right nya. I got on the ledge (which was a bit wet) and as I was trying to get the mud off the wall, my foot slipped and my head went straight into the metal fence, right through my chin and piercing through my tongue as well. I guess my body went right into shock, because to this day, I don't remember the pain. It was a bit hazy after wards, I don't remember even having any energy to get myself out. My cousin had to lift my head up to get me out of the fence.
During that time, my mom was told of what happened and she just yanked me and carried me and started running to get a cab. I remember her carrying me and with my face right on her shoulder, I recall the blood gushing out my mouth/chin. I don't remember anything else after getting to the hospital. I recall having to stay there for a while as to how long, I do not know. I had problem eating since the saliva would build up, or even talking since I'd start drooling. Sometimes I wonder if that might have been why I have a bit of a lisp.
Anyway, I just felt the need to tell that story. When I told my mom Sunday that I was gonna get surgery Monday, she started crying since she wanted to be there. I told her not to worry about it since she had work anyways, and it'll just be a minor one. She is such a dramatic actress haha. I can see where she's coming from though. At least now, I have C-. He took some days off so he can just stay home and take care of me. I really appreciated that, and I hope he can feel it. Well I sent him a text just now so he'd actually know.
Things have been crazy since mid-January as some of you who I've talked to is aware. I'd rather not elaborate on it, but I've hurt people I love without realizing it. I think I get overwhelmed with emotions sometimes that I don't know what to do with it. For the most part, I've been happier than I used to be or I'd like to think so. I don't pray any longer for someone to love since he showed up in my life. I remember just wanting to have somebody to share things with, to do different things with, to go to places with. And now that he's here, I'm thinking just like that life!? I just met him for something to eat and here we are almost nine months later!? Sometimes I forget that good things happen simply because I deserve it. I need to stop racking my brains out trying to find reasons that I don't deserve something. Because honestly I really do. I underestimate myself too much and it's got to stop! I guess I got used to going through things by myself that it's taking some getting used to for me to open up, and talk about what's bothering me, or just talk about how my day was. For C-, I'm really grateful...
Anyway, I should be getting back to work now. Oh, I also got to see the Spice Girls on the 28th of Feb. Mannn, that was amazing to finally see them in the flesh. Something I've been wanting since I was 14/15 yrs old. I guess I'll never outgrow them. They take out the girl in me haha. I was dancing around during the show, and to think I was sober doing it too. But it's kinda funny how almost everybody knew the steps, it was a riot :D I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna really really really wanna zig-a-zig ah!!!
It's a blue, bright blue Saturday, hey hey And the pain's starting to slip away, hey hey I'm in a backless dress on a pastel ward that's shining
If you would have listened to Alexys, you would have known that you need to learn your man. But, I found a better way. I found something that can control him*. Got this as a gift for C- last week for his birthday. I think it went well after all. I'm not that great with giving gifts so pretty much got him the remote, a pair of Onitsuka Tiger shoes, and a box of Godiva chocolates. I saw the remote and I just laughed when I saw what the buttons are for.
