Smiling makes you feel better about yourself, even if you don't feel like it - Lauraine Snelling
And through the tears, we'll smile when we recall, we had it all for just a moment. - St. Elmo's Fire
No smile is as beautiful as the one that struggles through the tears. Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened. - Sarah Ackerman
A smile is a light in the window of the soul, indicating that the heart is at home.
Smile, it's the second best thing one can do with one's lips.
Brighten the world with your smile.
A smile costs nothing, but gives much.
A smile is a little curve that sets a lot of things straight.
Smiles are free: don't save them.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you've been up to.
What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity - Joseph Addison
A smile can open a heart faster than a key can open a door.
Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
A smile confuses an approaching frown.~Author Unknown
People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.~Lee Mildon
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.~Phyllis Diller
The world always looks brighter from behind a smile.~Author Unknown
Start every day with a smile and get it over with.~W.C. Fields
Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.~Jim Beggs
A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.~Charles Gordy
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.~Andy Rooney
If you smile at someone, they might smile back.~Author Unknown
Everyone smiles in the same language.~Author Unknown
If you don't have a smile, I'll give you one of mine.~Author Unknown
I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.~Author Unknown
A laugh is a smile that bursts.~Mary H. Waldrip
Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.~Mother Teresa
A friendly look, a kindly smile, one good act, and life's worthwhile. ~Author Unknown
A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles.~Washington Irving
A smile is the universal welcome.~Max Eastman
Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you've been up to.~Author Unknown
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important. ~Janet Lane
All the statistics in the world can't measure the warmth of a smile. ~Chris Hart
If you would like to spoil the day for a grouch, give him a smile. ~Author Unknown
A smile is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it.~Author Unknown
The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart." - St. Jerome
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
I hope I won't have to hung my head
The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
I'll always love you and make you happy,
If you will only say the same.
But if you leave me and love another,
You'll regret it all some day:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between.
But not you've left me and love another;
You have shattered all of my dreams:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart pains.
So when you come back and make me happy
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
You are my Sunshine
Sung by Norman Blake
Right-click and "save as"
I have yet to completely watch the movie O Brother, Where Art Thou? yet has the soundtrack for it. I think most people know the chorus at least, even I, but I never realized it was a sad song until hearing the full version. When I learn to play the guitar, this will be one I'd wannabe able to play.
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
I'll always love you and make you happy,
If you will only say the same.
But if you leave me and love another,
You'll regret it all some day:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between.
But not you've left me and love another;
You have shattered all of my dreams:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart pains.
So when you come back and make me happy
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
You are my Sunshine
Sung by Norman Blake
Right-click and "save as"
I have yet to completely watch the movie O Brother, Where Art Thou? yet has the soundtrack for it. I think most people know the chorus at least, even I, but I never realized it was a sad song until hearing the full version. When I learn to play the guitar, this will be one I'd wannabe able to play.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Life....
(Started this yesterday afternoon) I asked the boss if I could leave early yesterday since the Comcast tech was coming by the apartment. They called me around 1:30, letting me know they'll be arriving within the next hour. It's almost 4 now and I have yet to hear back from them. It's been weeks since I've written, and I actually missed just being able to sit down and write. Things have been good for the most part so that might play a role too as to why I haven't been writing much. That, and I really haven't been alone lately, spending most of my time with Cs. It's been great with him, we just spend most of the time together. Watching DVD's, dinner, just laying in bed and talking. Some of you guys who I've chatted with know more than what I'm writing and maybe I'll keep just mum about it. Let's just say, I'm so much in a better place than I was before having met him :) I catch myself smiling even when I'm having a rough day at work knowing that Cs- is there for me. Such a really sweet guy that some of the things he says just makes me cry. I'm still working on trying to be more vocal about my feelings, but I told him that I hope he can still sense what I feel for him even if I don't say it outloud. He does, and this man (or am I still a boy?) is smiling because the boy I <3 makes him happy. I wish I would have written more on a day to day account but that might be a little too much.
Even my mom knows about Cs- as well. She in turn told my other aunt, and my aunt told my other aunt, and now the whole mom's side of the family knows about him already. Tita Akang, the aunt in Denmark, even spoke to him on the phone and welcomed him to the family. Cs said he was really touched hearing that. I was a bit surprised my aunt said that, but I'm glad they're welcoming Cs- with open arms. After the convo, Cs- jokingly said we're in this for the long run. That was this past Sunday when I called my aunt when we were going to Ikea in College Park. During the ride, I was on the phone most of the time with my tita. She was just going on about how happy she was I'm with someone, etc. I think even my Grandma knows, and to think it hasn't even been a month since I met Cs. During our conversation, my granda got brought up which as some of you knows passed away last summer. The relationship was just meh, we really weren't close to each other.
My tita said that our house help Aileen actually mentioned about the relationship. She told my aunt that before my grandpa's condition got worse, he was talking about a grandson he was really proud of. He told Aileen that it didn't matter to him to him that I was gay, he could care less about that. He said that he was really proud of me but didn't show it since he was worried that my other cousins would get jealous. And there I was, believing that my grandpa didn't care much. Just hearing her tell me this made me cry which is kinda odd. Normally, when my family says that they're proud of me, I sit there thinking "and what good does that do me?" It's not that I go around doing things trying to make them proud, I just do what I do.
I got to thinking about things yesterday, and how I felt unloved by my grandpa. But then, when I thought about how he took us in after my dad left. He provided food on the table, roof over our head and even spending money. Eventhough I've never really sat down with him, learning about things he went through, or hearing about his life, or some wisdom he can impart but then I didn't do that with the family, not even with my mom, I don't think. I mostly learned just by observing and keeping notes in my head on how to be and not to be. My grandpa never uttered the words I love you, but I guess the things he did was his way of saying that. We get so busy trying to illicit those three words sometimes that we miss out on the love that's already there. He used to drink a lot and get really verbally abusive, and sometimes even physically, well mostly my mom. Maybe seeing my mom's situation pained him, her being an unwed mother with a foreign child. I really can't say why. But when my dad finally got my citizenship all set up, and I could move to the US, my granddad was really happy. He even told me a little prayer to say on my very first flight to the states. Maybe he just wanted a better future for me, and he felt I can only accomplish that back in my homeland. It's funny when I think about it, how eventhough I'm mixed, they felt the US is where I really belonged, guess it has to do with my looks. Regardless, I'm just realizing that I did love my grandpa. It doesn't mean I accepted or condoned his mistreatment, or that I excused his faults and frailties. But loving is seeing them, accepting them, and loving them despite the things you might not like about them. I have faults of my own, so I'm glad people love me despite of it.
Aside from that, my mom will be flying in to DC this Saturday. I wouldn't say for good coz it might be for her, but not for me haha. I won't elaborate as to the reasons but things aren't really working out for her in Florida. It's annoying a little when she keeps saying how she should be with me, and not living with my aunt and uncle. I'd say Ummm, Noooo, get over with. But yet, she'll still be coming. It'll be better since she'll be able to get around even without a car. And I guess, now I won't have to worry about food since she can just cook for me and Cs-. I was joking with Cs- and asking him if he's sure he's in for the drama that is family, but he said he is, so this fella's for keeps. He offered to help get my mom situated, going with her to try to find her a job amongst other things. She's just gonna be staying at the old apartment I was staying. I've told one of the roommates and she's okay with it, though I have yet to talk to the other one. I'll have my mom stay at Virginia while I stay in DC so that should be enough of a buffer. I'll get to eat home-cooked meals again, yum yum. I'm just in denial that it'll be fine when she gets here. We'll get to take pictures, check out the sites in DC. Then later on once she gets situated, the rest of the fam from Norway and Denmark would all visit. How awesome is that! Cs- and I might even go to Denmark next year, crazy but my tita has my uncle looking up ticket prices next year for me and Cs-. I'm just amazed how everything fell right into place since I met him.
That's just about all that's going on. Gotta head out on the floor....
Even my mom knows about Cs- as well. She in turn told my other aunt, and my aunt told my other aunt, and now the whole mom's side of the family knows about him already. Tita Akang, the aunt in Denmark, even spoke to him on the phone and welcomed him to the family. Cs said he was really touched hearing that. I was a bit surprised my aunt said that, but I'm glad they're welcoming Cs- with open arms. After the convo, Cs- jokingly said we're in this for the long run. That was this past Sunday when I called my aunt when we were going to Ikea in College Park. During the ride, I was on the phone most of the time with my tita. She was just going on about how happy she was I'm with someone, etc. I think even my Grandma knows, and to think it hasn't even been a month since I met Cs. During our conversation, my granda got brought up which as some of you knows passed away last summer. The relationship was just meh, we really weren't close to each other.
My tita said that our house help Aileen actually mentioned about the relationship. She told my aunt that before my grandpa's condition got worse, he was talking about a grandson he was really proud of. He told Aileen that it didn't matter to him to him that I was gay, he could care less about that. He said that he was really proud of me but didn't show it since he was worried that my other cousins would get jealous. And there I was, believing that my grandpa didn't care much. Just hearing her tell me this made me cry which is kinda odd. Normally, when my family says that they're proud of me, I sit there thinking "and what good does that do me?" It's not that I go around doing things trying to make them proud, I just do what I do.
I got to thinking about things yesterday, and how I felt unloved by my grandpa. But then, when I thought about how he took us in after my dad left. He provided food on the table, roof over our head and even spending money. Eventhough I've never really sat down with him, learning about things he went through, or hearing about his life, or some wisdom he can impart but then I didn't do that with the family, not even with my mom, I don't think. I mostly learned just by observing and keeping notes in my head on how to be and not to be. My grandpa never uttered the words I love you, but I guess the things he did was his way of saying that. We get so busy trying to illicit those three words sometimes that we miss out on the love that's already there. He used to drink a lot and get really verbally abusive, and sometimes even physically, well mostly my mom. Maybe seeing my mom's situation pained him, her being an unwed mother with a foreign child. I really can't say why. But when my dad finally got my citizenship all set up, and I could move to the US, my granddad was really happy. He even told me a little prayer to say on my very first flight to the states. Maybe he just wanted a better future for me, and he felt I can only accomplish that back in my homeland. It's funny when I think about it, how eventhough I'm mixed, they felt the US is where I really belonged, guess it has to do with my looks. Regardless, I'm just realizing that I did love my grandpa. It doesn't mean I accepted or condoned his mistreatment, or that I excused his faults and frailties. But loving is seeing them, accepting them, and loving them despite the things you might not like about them. I have faults of my own, so I'm glad people love me despite of it.
Aside from that, my mom will be flying in to DC this Saturday. I wouldn't say for good coz it might be for her, but not for me haha. I won't elaborate as to the reasons but things aren't really working out for her in Florida. It's annoying a little when she keeps saying how she should be with me, and not living with my aunt and uncle. I'd say Ummm, Noooo, get over with. But yet, she'll still be coming. It'll be better since she'll be able to get around even without a car. And I guess, now I won't have to worry about food since she can just cook for me and Cs-. I was joking with Cs- and asking him if he's sure he's in for the drama that is family, but he said he is, so this fella's for keeps. He offered to help get my mom situated, going with her to try to find her a job amongst other things. She's just gonna be staying at the old apartment I was staying. I've told one of the roommates and she's okay with it, though I have yet to talk to the other one. I'll have my mom stay at Virginia while I stay in DC so that should be enough of a buffer. I'll get to eat home-cooked meals again, yum yum. I'm just in denial that it'll be fine when she gets here. We'll get to take pictures, check out the sites in DC. Then later on once she gets situated, the rest of the fam from Norway and Denmark would all visit. How awesome is that! Cs- and I might even go to Denmark next year, crazy but my tita has my uncle looking up ticket prices next year for me and Cs-. I'm just amazed how everything fell right into place since I met him.
That's just about all that's going on. Gotta head out on the floor....
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