I read this quote and it made me cry. It's been a crazy few weeks and things have just felt rough than I'm having a hard time bouncing back to usual.
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. I'll always be with you.”
Some other ones I liked:
“You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”
“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh," he whispered.
Yes, Piglet?
Nothing, said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you."”
P.S.
Eventhough my URL is a play on the boy from Winnie The Pooh, I've never read any of the stories or seen the movie but I want to now
Monday, September 20, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Not sure
Well, I'm back to DC now after being in St Louis last week for work. It was a nice trip overall. One guy I met was nice enough to hang out with me two days in a row and showed me around the area/neighborhoods. I'm falling in love with the city itself, if only it doesn't snow real hard there.
So initially what we were having trouble with what I came there for was working, but alas somehow yesterday, it just stopped doing what we want it do. And it's frustrating since the company that we got the program for doesn't support our version any longer, meh. Still looking how I can fix it.
Since I landed, it actually has been non-stop. Friday, ended up meeting with my mom til late afternoon after which I met with my an ex-blogger visiting from out of town. The following day, I ended up meeting with my boss for lunch and hang out in the afternoon which actually was fun, I heart her. I had to go though to meet up with a guy I've kept in contact with few weeks ago right before he went overseas for school. I ended up cancelling on a guy I was gonna meet in the evening since I was just tired.
Sunday, I ended up meeting with my friend for brunch and had to move a guy to mid-afternoon to meet up with. Then, in the evening, met up with E- which was real nice. Took him to my fave Indian place and we played bowling afterwards. I'm liking him more and more, it was nice seeing him again. We were actually holding hands when walking, and even kissed in between our turns bowling.
Monday, just took it slow and watched Kick Ass. I got to like the last 15 mins and the damn disc had to stop working baaaahh. Tuesday, ended up going to Ikea to look for a make-shift night stand. Then last night, spent the night at E's place. It was nice, and I so didn't wanna leave this morning but had to go around 5 for work.
With all these stuff happening, it's like I should be happy but I feel like crap right now and I'm not sure why.
So initially what we were having trouble with what I came there for was working, but alas somehow yesterday, it just stopped doing what we want it do. And it's frustrating since the company that we got the program for doesn't support our version any longer, meh. Still looking how I can fix it.
Since I landed, it actually has been non-stop. Friday, ended up meeting with my mom til late afternoon after which I met with my an ex-blogger visiting from out of town. The following day, I ended up meeting with my boss for lunch and hang out in the afternoon which actually was fun, I heart her. I had to go though to meet up with a guy I've kept in contact with few weeks ago right before he went overseas for school. I ended up cancelling on a guy I was gonna meet in the evening since I was just tired.
Sunday, I ended up meeting with my friend for brunch and had to move a guy to mid-afternoon to meet up with. Then, in the evening, met up with E- which was real nice. Took him to my fave Indian place and we played bowling afterwards. I'm liking him more and more, it was nice seeing him again. We were actually holding hands when walking, and even kissed in between our turns bowling.
Monday, just took it slow and watched Kick Ass. I got to like the last 15 mins and the damn disc had to stop working baaaahh. Tuesday, ended up going to Ikea to look for a make-shift night stand. Then last night, spent the night at E's place. It was nice, and I so didn't wanna leave this morning but had to go around 5 for work.
With all these stuff happening, it's like I should be happy but I feel like crap right now and I'm not sure why.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
My life
Well, like they say when you're real high, you'll come right back down and looks like that's what's happening right now. I've been happy so now that it's going back to even, it feels like there's something off. I didn't realize how this past month or two has been nonstop.
Moved mid-June, then fly out few days after and was gone for the rest of the month. Got home, tidy up the place some, then family visited for a week and a half. Then a bit after, my best friend came and along all of that, been going out and trying to date/meet guys. I'm gonna use a fellow blogger's way of keeping track and will use the alphabet.
Since last month, I've met A, B, C, D, and E. Liked B and hang out twice but he's gone MIA so not sure what to think of it. It kinda sucks but then I was notorious for doing the same few years back so meh, what you do to others, yada yada. I've met up with E a few times but he's been a bit cold so not sure really. He was nice enough to let me stay at his place for a few hours when my power was out for a few days because of the storm. It's hard though, there were days I was missing him but with only having met like 2 weeks ago, I'm like WTF haha
I started this post when I was in DC but right now I'm actually in St Louis for work til tomorrow. It's nice here, this one guy I met showed me around the neighborhoods and it makes me want to move. Cost of living is definitely cheaper than it is in DC so that's something to think about. Not sure about the winter though.
Aside from those, it's a hit or miss with work. I'm trying to stay positive since I'm on probation still and can't really move anywhere else. I get bogged down I wanna up and leave sometimes but it won't be the smartest move financial-wise. I'm finally rid of all my debt aside from my car so that definitely was a big load off of my shoulders. I can't let it happen again so really need to sit through and look some things over.
Also, few weeks ago, my dad actually contacted me which was nice, eventhough it was still surprising. Some of you might know we haven't spoken for 2 yrs when I came out to him few months before his birthday back in 2008. It's nice catching up, he just got into the IT field workwise so it was kinda funny just hearing him ramble on about computers, etc.
My mom finally quit working at Hilton after being there for 2 yrs. She really wasn't happy there and on our drive one day where other things transpired as well, I told her 'Ma, just quit if you're that unhappy.' She did and right now looking into different programs to eventually get into nursing which is what she's wanting to do.
That's how things are in a nutshell. Instead of saying I'm gonna start blogging again, I'll shut up and let things be and just do it instead of saying. I really miss having an outlet and will keep my mouth shut about telling people I know in real life about it since it changes the dynamics, and doesn't feel freeing like it used to.
Moved mid-June, then fly out few days after and was gone for the rest of the month. Got home, tidy up the place some, then family visited for a week and a half. Then a bit after, my best friend came and along all of that, been going out and trying to date/meet guys. I'm gonna use a fellow blogger's way of keeping track and will use the alphabet.
Since last month, I've met A, B, C, D, and E. Liked B and hang out twice but he's gone MIA so not sure what to think of it. It kinda sucks but then I was notorious for doing the same few years back so meh, what you do to others, yada yada. I've met up with E a few times but he's been a bit cold so not sure really. He was nice enough to let me stay at his place for a few hours when my power was out for a few days because of the storm. It's hard though, there were days I was missing him but with only having met like 2 weeks ago, I'm like WTF haha
I started this post when I was in DC but right now I'm actually in St Louis for work til tomorrow. It's nice here, this one guy I met showed me around the neighborhoods and it makes me want to move. Cost of living is definitely cheaper than it is in DC so that's something to think about. Not sure about the winter though.
Aside from those, it's a hit or miss with work. I'm trying to stay positive since I'm on probation still and can't really move anywhere else. I get bogged down I wanna up and leave sometimes but it won't be the smartest move financial-wise. I'm finally rid of all my debt aside from my car so that definitely was a big load off of my shoulders. I can't let it happen again so really need to sit through and look some things over.
Also, few weeks ago, my dad actually contacted me which was nice, eventhough it was still surprising. Some of you might know we haven't spoken for 2 yrs when I came out to him few months before his birthday back in 2008. It's nice catching up, he just got into the IT field workwise so it was kinda funny just hearing him ramble on about computers, etc.
My mom finally quit working at Hilton after being there for 2 yrs. She really wasn't happy there and on our drive one day where other things transpired as well, I told her 'Ma, just quit if you're that unhappy.' She did and right now looking into different programs to eventually get into nursing which is what she's wanting to do.
That's how things are in a nutshell. Instead of saying I'm gonna start blogging again, I'll shut up and let things be and just do it instead of saying. I really miss having an outlet and will keep my mouth shut about telling people I know in real life about it since it changes the dynamics, and doesn't feel freeing like it used to.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Where the boys are
Wow, never really got what the song meant. All I knew was the 'where the boys are' but never paid attention to the rest of the lyrics. I make fun of my mom for crying over songs but yet, here I was today bawling over this song. She played it a lot when I was growing up and it just took me back...
Music is so powerful that I just can't imagine living without it. It's amazing how just one song can take you back to a certain point in your life like you were actually there. There's this one song I heard when I was in second grade and it just stuck with me. Life at home was kinda rough around that time and this song kinda kept me going. I'd listen to it and tell myself that one day, things are gonna get better. It takes a while sometimes before they do, and when you're quite not there, you question whether hoping will get you anywhere. I thought that hope was in vain but I realized that it's something that you wish for in your heart, and eventually make happen consciously or with you not even knowing it even.
Where the boys are, someone waits for me
A smilin' face, a warm embrace, two arms to hold me tenderly
Where the boys are, my true love will be
He's walkin' down some street in town and I know he's lookin' there for me
I think I might have found mine but didn't know it...
Music is so powerful that I just can't imagine living without it. It's amazing how just one song can take you back to a certain point in your life like you were actually there. There's this one song I heard when I was in second grade and it just stuck with me. Life at home was kinda rough around that time and this song kinda kept me going. I'd listen to it and tell myself that one day, things are gonna get better. It takes a while sometimes before they do, and when you're quite not there, you question whether hoping will get you anywhere. I thought that hope was in vain but I realized that it's something that you wish for in your heart, and eventually make happen consciously or with you not even knowing it even.
Where the boys are, someone waits for me
A smilin' face, a warm embrace, two arms to hold me tenderly
Where the boys are, my true love will be
He's walkin' down some street in town and I know he's lookin' there for me
I think I might have found mine but didn't know it...
Monday, June 14, 2010
Second night
This weekend was Pride weekend in DC, and as much as I wanted to take part with all the festivities, I didn't. I'm all moved in to the new place and it feels a bit off still waking up in a different environment.
This is the first move where I didn't really prepare more than I could have. Day of moving and I was still packing things around the house. I just felt 'off' about it that the few days prior, I just sat around the house and just did everything else BUT pack. It wasn't intentional but moving year after year for the past 4 years got to me for the first time.
I am actually glad I opted to hire movers instead since folks who I asked weren't gonna help, and the ones who said they would didn't show. It was frustrating I sorta just stopped communicating with them all day since I didn't see the point. Ended up having my mom call out from work just so you can be there eventhough I tried not to let her do too much. The move ended up taking about 4 hrs, and it was exhausting enough I plopped down on the couch with my mom by my feet and we'd talk occasionally, or she'd make jokes which is her usual self.
Eventually, it came up how I live really close to downtown now so they have shops and stores that I can now walk to. My mom wanted to go so told she ought to without me tagging along. It's like half a mile away and had to convince her that she's not gonna get lost, or if she does, she can call. And somehow, when she left, I just started moving things around in the room and putting things together. She ended up coming back to the apartment and not too long after that, we left since I had to go back to Alexandria and grab some things and drop her off. In the three years she's been here, she hasn't really gone out to DC and just explore. On the drive back, we were gonna try to eat at Panera but alas, they were closed so while driving through the city, told her we can check out U St. So did that, and went to Bus Boys and Poets. She enjoyed it so was glad about that.
So dropped her off and had to drive a good 17 miles to get back to my new place. People have mentioned time and time that my mom would give her life for me or that she loves me so much. I really don't think of it too much since I dunno, I have this notion that it's a given that parents are supposed to love their kids. Somehow on the drive back, it just hit me that she's actually one of the few people who will always be constant in my life that I can depend on. She tries to always be there for me, and at times, when I try not to be stubborn, and let her, she comes through wayyy more than I give her credit for. People can profess that they would do this or that for you, but you can only go by their actions.
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
If I remember correctly, those lines were written about someone losing her father and at times, I wonder if it'll be like that for me. I'm thinking I'll be fine if I lose my mom, or just lose it that I wouldn't know how to go on. Just made me think...
This is the first move where I didn't really prepare more than I could have. Day of moving and I was still packing things around the house. I just felt 'off' about it that the few days prior, I just sat around the house and just did everything else BUT pack. It wasn't intentional but moving year after year for the past 4 years got to me for the first time.
I am actually glad I opted to hire movers instead since folks who I asked weren't gonna help, and the ones who said they would didn't show. It was frustrating I sorta just stopped communicating with them all day since I didn't see the point. Ended up having my mom call out from work just so you can be there eventhough I tried not to let her do too much. The move ended up taking about 4 hrs, and it was exhausting enough I plopped down on the couch with my mom by my feet and we'd talk occasionally, or she'd make jokes which is her usual self.
Eventually, it came up how I live really close to downtown now so they have shops and stores that I can now walk to. My mom wanted to go so told she ought to without me tagging along. It's like half a mile away and had to convince her that she's not gonna get lost, or if she does, she can call. And somehow, when she left, I just started moving things around in the room and putting things together. She ended up coming back to the apartment and not too long after that, we left since I had to go back to Alexandria and grab some things and drop her off. In the three years she's been here, she hasn't really gone out to DC and just explore. On the drive back, we were gonna try to eat at Panera but alas, they were closed so while driving through the city, told her we can check out U St. So did that, and went to Bus Boys and Poets. She enjoyed it so was glad about that.
So dropped her off and had to drive a good 17 miles to get back to my new place. People have mentioned time and time that my mom would give her life for me or that she loves me so much. I really don't think of it too much since I dunno, I have this notion that it's a given that parents are supposed to love their kids. Somehow on the drive back, it just hit me that she's actually one of the few people who will always be constant in my life that I can depend on. She tries to always be there for me, and at times, when I try not to be stubborn, and let her, she comes through wayyy more than I give her credit for. People can profess that they would do this or that for you, but you can only go by their actions.
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
If I remember correctly, those lines were written about someone losing her father and at times, I wonder if it'll be like that for me. I'm thinking I'll be fine if I lose my mom, or just lose it that I wouldn't know how to go on. Just made me think...
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Changes
Well, a year has passed and it's time to move again, granted it'll be like within a 20 mile radius, I think even less but still. My intent was to stay at this apartment I'm in for 2 years but somehow these past six months, things kinda changed that. I got tired of the surroundings, and the people upstairs are just real loud walkers, no matter what time of day it is.
Today was good overall. A conversation with a coworker enlightened me over a decision I brewing on for a whole week. It was work related but still, it was doing me in. I'm given more responsibility at work now, and granted I do well, that thing known as doubt rears its head and makes me question my abilities.
I ended up not leaving work til 5, so much for living early! I ended up talking to one of the field guys for a good hour about work and our pasts. Somehow it came up that he's going through a divorce right now, and I told him I was sorry to hear that. His answer was 'It happens' which is true but still sad. But then what do I know, I went through close to divorce as one can and it sucked for both of us, though it wasn't exactly mutual but at that time for me, it felt like the right thing to do.
Will write more tomorrow since I'm sleepy.
Today was good overall. A conversation with a coworker enlightened me over a decision I brewing on for a whole week. It was work related but still, it was doing me in. I'm given more responsibility at work now, and granted I do well, that thing known as doubt rears its head and makes me question my abilities.
I ended up not leaving work til 5, so much for living early! I ended up talking to one of the field guys for a good hour about work and our pasts. Somehow it came up that he's going through a divorce right now, and I told him I was sorry to hear that. His answer was 'It happens' which is true but still sad. But then what do I know, I went through close to divorce as one can and it sucked for both of us, though it wasn't exactly mutual but at that time for me, it felt like the right thing to do.
Will write more tomorrow since I'm sleepy.
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