8 years today!

*breathes heavily. It's nice to finally just take a breather here at work. It's just been busy since this week started and I'm really close to just throwing in the towel. I put out my resume once again, and trying to see what's out there. It's kinda crazy that this time last year I sorta was in the same boat, getting ready to leave the military, and start my life as a civilian. There are times where I considered going back in but it's probably not gonna happen. I just miss the camarederie sometimes, and all the higher ups looking out for me (well mine certainly did). They really went out of their way to take care of any needs I had whether it be moving to an apartment off base so my mom can stay with me, or even offering to move me to a different position if I was unhappy with what I was doing. But that's about it, it just seems there's too much BS to deal with, and to be told what to do in pretty much most aspects of my life kinda got to me. Either way, I'm thankful for the experience.

Well, I turned 8 yesterday!! Okay, you're probably thinking like huh!? Well, let me splain. It was exactly 8 yrs ago that I made the move to the US, and started out a new life per say and it's been my our running joke (my dad and I) that we started to count my age after coming here. Sometimes I just sit in awe and gets boggled with how all those years have been. It's hard to believe sometimes when at one point, I really gave up on getting to come here. It wasn't even so much to live here, the main thing was getting to see my dad again since I was maybe 3 yrs old. I've written a lengthy history but really don't feel like linking and stuff.

Thanksgiving came and went but that day, things weren't exactly alright, not that I'm saying it is now, but it was a struggle a little to come up with things to be thankful for. It really shouldn't be forced but today, I've got that feeling and hence this post. These 8 years has been a learning experience for me, not that it ever stops. But things I've seen and done, people I've met and crossed paths with, all I hold dearly in my heart. Even just a simple act that they might not even realize, it could have been something simple as a smile, or a conversation, or a lift to the post office when I needed a ride, it all made a difference to me. Some of those people, I probably would never see again but regardless of that, they've touched my life and I'll never be the same again because of it.

I'll admit in my early years, there were times I considered just ending it all since life got to be too much. Of course in life, you can't always have all joy and happiness. Sometimes going through pain and suffering might be necessary since without them, how would we get to appreciate all the good things that happen to us. I'm glad I didn't and just held on to the idea that there's always tomorrow, and that everything will be fine. Though sometimes that tomorrow might take days, weeks, months or even years for some, but regardless things do work out. Easier said than done since I'll admit, sometimes it's hard to see past through what's happening and try to find the lesson in it. Either way, things happen and we just have to find whatever it might be that would get us through the day.

I don't think I would have traded this for anything else, and I'm glad I got to see this day. All I know is that at this point in my life, this is where I exactly needed to be. Asto why, maybe the answer might come, it might never but it's all part of the process. I'll know when it's time for me to know, and for now I'm alright with that.

I'm grateful to my family who's always been there for me, my parents of course, which I'll always love in my way and not what they think I should love them, to C- for being with me eventhough I can be quite difficult (well sometimes), and for all my friends, near and afar, including my blogger friends. My life is richer with you all in it, I can attest to that. To the ones I've met, aren't you lucky you met me? hahaha! To the ones I haven't met, it'll happen *grins . To these people, thank you for seeing the good in me when I can't see it myself.

All these coming from an 8-yr old...

Vote for me!

That's Caeden when he was just a few weeks old. He's about 3 1/2 months old now and you can see a more recent pic when you click on the picture on the left. The bf asked me to post this so whoever looks can vote for Caeden at the MyFox DC's Pet Page hehe. Thanks :D

Heels on the ground

Had it been not for JM, I would not have even bothered to watch Charlotte's Web. Granted I've watched kids movies: Monsters Inc, Finding Nemo, etc and I really enjoyed, I've never bothered with Charlotte's Web. I'm glad I got to sit down and watch it since I surprisingly liked it. On Thursdays, I usually watch tv with My Name Is Earl, and other shows being on but I made the exception tonight. I'll admit I cried in some parts of the movie, since watching it made me think of all my friends. Eventhough some I haven't seen in years with them living in other parts of the world, it doesn't cause me to love them less, but instead treasure those moments I spent time with them. Same with bloggers, I've met quite a few and eventhough I spent only a day with some, it still makes me smile to have met them.

Wow, so it's been two weeks since I last post. It felt like that was only a week ago. Things have been good for the most part so can't really complain. Ok, maybe it was only one week now that I've looked at a calendar. We ended up not going to NY last weekend, and just stayed home mostly. For Sunday, we went to the National Gallery of Art to have a look since they have an ongoing exhibition of Edward Hopper's work. It was nice getting to see his paintings up close and personal. It just amazes me what some folks can produce with a brush and paint, or pen and paper. They had a film about his life as well, interesting to actually hear more about what he was like as a person. Nighthawks' actually my favorite painting of his, and I use it from time to time as my wallpaper.

Monday, I switched shifts with my coworker so I can drop Cs- off at the airport. He went to Orlando to see his family. After dropping him off, I had a few hours to kill before coming in to work. Cs- got a navigation system from his mom, and thought I'd let it guide me home. Cs- kinda played with it a little before I dropped him off so I "assumed" that he was setting to take me home. I did what it told me to do, though maybe 20 mins or so, I was starting to wonder since I was driving through streets I've never been to before. I was just thinking how nice it was to see more of the area. I was on the main highway, and started seeing signs to the airport and I thought how odd that was and upon looking at the nav system, it was giving me directions back to the airport!!! I just spent an hour driving back to where I started.

Tuesday, I went to Dupont Circle to watch the High Heel Race which is annual thing here in DC the Tuesday before Halloween. It was one of the funniest things I've seen. Drag queens racing a few blocks wearing high heels and pumps, and it was just great seeing all the people that came. Even the mayor stopped by, and I got to shake hands with him too. They got folks dressed up as Larry Craig, the "Leave Britney alone" guy on youtube, Princess Di, etc even the Spice Girls. Maybe next year....*grins Found a clip to give you an idea




Wednesday, I ended up calling in sick to work. I was actually walking to the train station already, and felt that I really didn't wanna come in. So instead of fighting it, I just went with it and called my boss to let her know I didn't feel too well, which is true to an extent. Ahh, the beauty of being a civilian. Odd thing was a little bit after going back in, this is what it said on my horoscope for the day:

"You might need to connect with Mother Earth, Kris. Lately, you've been feeling less than grounded. You might have
the sensation that your mind is drifting somewhere above your body. If your work is mostly of the mental variety,
and if you spend a lot of time on your computer, you might experience some feelings of disconnection from your body.
Correct this by going for a long walk in a park, or sit by the ocean or other body of water."

Granted I didn't go by an ocean or anything, it was nice to just stay home and do as I please. Cleaned up some, did the laundry, listened to some music and went running. Trying to get in shape like I once was a few years ago. I didn't realize that my body changed much but with a few folks saying something about it, yea maybe I did lose some weight. Time to go to the gym again. I'm crazy for not going since I really can't get out my contract with Bally's, so way to fix it is to just go. Not that I'm not okay with my body, but guess it could use some improvement. It wasn't 'til I was about 19 or so, when I finally realized that I wasn't bad looking at all. I confided this to a friend and she said how crazy I was for even thinking that I was ugly. Not that I think I'm a hunk, it's just that I've learned to love myself and smile at the guy I see at the mirror, and not to constantly think of what can be changed on the outside.

I guess now, just finally having faith and believing in myself is what it all comes down to. I'd like to think I'm still the same person, eventhough some people might think I changed. Is it not possible though, for one to change but yet remain the same? Maybe I did change, but I would not have done so if it wasn't necessary. Some of it was by choice, some was sorta forced due to circumstances that I got myself into. I just have to stay true for me, and try not to let other people's perceptions get in the way.

Who I am is not who I used to be. But who I am is all of who I used to be.

I'm gonna see the Goils in Concert....

I got tix to see the Spice Goils :D The show won't be 'til February though and the tour starts in December so gotta find me tickets to LA if possible.

I know, I know *shocks horrors* The Spice Girls of all people. They got me started though in paying more attention to music. Granted I listen to them, I don't listen much to boybands or Britney. But these girls though, ooo lala, I don't know what they do to me. But yea, I can do their songs and dance to a tee. The chances of those videos showing here!? Maybe never but then, never say never. Listening to them brings me back to when I didn't have a care in the world. I cringe a bit when I remember how I used to dance around in school, and around the family.to them, yeah how ___ but I was young. Oh wait, I can't say that since I still do to these days. Let's just say, these girls make me smile..

Things are finally settling. Been going on some trips: to NY, then to SC to attend a friend's wedding. I'll try not to promise to update but I really haven't sat down and have deep thoughts like I used to. Maybe that's a good thing.

I blued myself

Well it's Tuesday and just got back from lunch. Just ate at my desk today since I've been bringing food in to work, or try to at least. These past weeks have been good. The previous weekend, we actually had a spur of the moment trip and ended up going to Philadelphia which was about a 3-hr drive. We were gonna see The Bodies Exhibit like I mentioned but ended up just making the trip. It was nice up in Philly. We got to see the original House and the Senate building, and got to see the Liberty Bell as well. We just passed by it since halfway through, we had to evacuate the building since somebody thought the Fire alarm thing was the exit button. So yeah.. We walked around in the South Street which was really nice. It reminded me of Harajuku. The feel of the clothing stores, and them being actually open 'till 11 pm or so. Definitely unlike DC where everything shuts down around 9.

This weekend, we found ourselves in NYC. It was just me and Cs- though since I wasn't sure how my mom would feel about staying at a hostel so we didn't take her with us. Cs- and I just caught the bus that leaves from DC to NYC for $35 which I thought was a good deal. It saves us the hassle of driving which I am NOT doing in New York anytime soon, and we get to sleep during the ride if need be. We got there around noon or so. Not even 10 mins into getting there, I sorta got harassed.


While we were walking towards the Penn Station entrance, a woman that was a few steps behind patted my butt. Did I just feel someone on my ass? was what I thought, and I turned around and there she was grinning, her with her waist-long braided hair, headphones on with a grin on her face. She put my arms around me, and went walking with me and asked if I had some change. I said, No, I don't have any cash with me at the moment but she insisted. I was trying to feel around my pockets if I did, during which she's rubbed my face, and called me sexy with my shaved head, and pinching my nipples. Cs- was a few feet away and was just cracking up. I asked him if he did and he had some change at least. So he handed her some, but before walking away, she went for a final swoop and actually grabbed my crotch. I just giggled since it's kinda silly to be mad about it.


After that, went to the hostel and tried checking in but we can't check in 'til 3 pm and we got there around noon. Just put our stuff in storage, and stepped out since we're starving. We went to Carnegie Deli and had one of the best sandwiches ever, and I don't like sandwiches too much! Sat next to a mother and daughter we ended up talking with about different cities, restaurants etc. After that, just walked around as to where I don't know exactly. We stopped by H&M (I know they're everywhere but the one in NY's different). I finally found the perfect pea coat I've been looking for. Later that evening, we met up with our friend and had dinner at an Italian place. Just talked with him and got to hear more about when he lived in New York.

After the meal, we made our way out to Astor Place to watch the Blue Man show. It was an interactive show, and it was really fun when they pick someone in the audience and make them a part of the show. Once that was over, we met up with Rey down at Hell's Kitchen. Looking cuute Rey! It was great seeing him again after meeting him the first time over a year ago. He's the first blogger I ever met*smiles I had a good time with him, and Darryll and Rob. Hey Darryll!! They later on took us to The Eagle *grins I've actually enjoyed going to the one here in DC so it's cool to see where it actually started. Left around 3 to get some sleep since we've been up since 5 am.

Woke up. Had breakfast, and walked around Chinatown, SoHo, St Mark's Place and tried to see the Statue of Liberty but there were too many people in queue. Took Cs- to the Uniqlo which has changed a LOT since Jon took me there a last summer. It was awesome to be back again. Really don't have pics yet since we left the cam at our friend's car. Guess that'll be it for now. Enjoy the rest of the week!

Made a funny

They probably think I've been smoking some joint here at work since I've been a scatterbrain these past few days. Today, I tried calling a customer back. Instead of asking for the person I needed to talk to, I told the guy who picked up:
___ Helpdesk. This is Kris speaking. How can I help you?
I realized it after the fact and asked nonchalantly for the customer. My boss did a double take and came back to see if she did hear what she thought she did. She just laughed and told me to lay off the doobie.

It's not for me...

Ok, I don't even remember what I did Friday but Saturday, it was actually Gay Days over at King's Dominion. Cs- and I ended up going along with a friend of ours. Earlier the day, we went to iHop and just ate there since I didn't feel like making one really what has become a staple weekend breakfast: fried eggs (always sunny side up for me), sausage, pancakes and juice.
After breakfast, we stopped by Barnes and Noble while we were waiting for our friend so that we can go to Ikea. We had to go get a chair changed since one of it's parts wasn't the right one, and to return a little cabinet we were going to try to use as a nightstand.

After that, we just went back to the house and played Wii for a bit which by the way is amazing! It is real fun to play! Like I mentioned, it was Gay Days over at King's Dominion. We got there around 8 and stayed 'til 1 am. I tried a bunch of rides and I came to a realization that roller coasters and such aren't my thing. Of course, I gave it a chance but it's not for me. I got on the rides: Shockwave, Drop Zone (which I just found out today was the largest drop ride in the US), and Rebel Yell where we rode backwards the whole time. Most of these rides, I just kept my eyes shut. What did me in was the Tomb Raider: Firefall. After the ride, I had to rush out since I had to throw up. It had us dangling head first, and it just was spinning us upside down. We were gonna go ride the Volcano but the Tomb Raider was the last for me, possibly ever. I can say I've tried rides but it doesn't do anything for me, and there's nothing wrong with it.

Sunday, we mostly hang around the house and did some cleaning. I was supposed to go see my mom but ended up not going since I didn't wake up 'til 11. Of course, she wasn't too happy which she let known during our phone conversation which ended up lasting for an hour and a half. I get hurt with some of the things she says sometimes, but I'm trying to be understanding. She gets upset when I don't visit, but when I do, she ends up taking out her frustrations on me which can be rough. To make it up, I went and visited her for a few hours last Tuesday. We had a great time, walked around Target and took her shopping for some winter clothes. It was nice, we were laughing and everything walking around the store just like the old days. I try to always tell her that eventhough things aren't completely like they used to be, that doesn't mean I love her a little less. I might have said that it was less because some of the things she said really stung. Somehow me being gay comes up and every issue that they're having with me stems from the fact. But anyway, she even helped me pick out some things to put on the wall since ours is bare right now. But will see how it'll look though, since the decorations have gold frames and our furnitures are all black brown which by the way are a bitch to keep clean. Dusts just appear everyday!!!

Wednesday, just went home and made spaghetti with Ikea meatballs which is awesome. Well my cooking too *grins Just watched Kathy Griffin's dvd and that's about it. After that, and watching some My Name Is Earl, Cs- and I both passed out by 8:30. Woke up at 11:30, put the food on the fridge and ended up staying awake 'til about 2 or 3. Just reread a book about the Spice Girls. Yay, I'm excited. Oct 1's coming up, and I better get a ticket, I pray to God and the heavens above.

Thursday, Cs- and I got to see Resident Evil Extinction. I got tickets for a free screening. For those of you who live in major cities, lookie here to see if they have your city listed. It was a good movie, I thought. There was a scene where it's not supposed to be funny but people started laughing. I giggled which I tend to do when folks around me laugh. It was entertaining. I was starving since we didn't get to eat beforehand so just went to McDonald's. Got my order wrong, but am not one to make a fuss and we were home already anyways so just ate it. Had a hot fudge sundae. Heaven! And tried watching My Name Is Earl but ended up laying in bed and passing out in no time.

Today, 34 more mins before I go. Not sure what we're doing yet. Maybe go see the Bodies Exhibit tomorrow. I can just stay home and I'll be alright but the others won't (T_T) I never got to write about it but we went to Baltimore and loved it. The atmosphere was just so nice. We walked around the Harborplace and checked out some stores, ate at The Cheesecake Factory (my first time) and watched a live concert. The concert was lovely, people of all ages were just singing and dancing along. The kids were just so cute dancing, some even doing Beyonce moves. The vibe was just great. Definitely a night I'll never forget.