They probably think I've been smoking some joint here at work since I've been a scatterbrain these past few days. Today, I tried calling a customer back. Instead of asking for the person I needed to talk to, I told the guy who picked up:
___ Helpdesk. This is Kris speaking. How can I help you?
I realized it after the fact and asked nonchalantly for the customer. My boss did a double take and came back to see if she did hear what she thought she did. She just laughed and told me to lay off the doobie.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
It's not for me...
Ok, I don't even remember what I did Friday but Saturday, it was actually Gay Days over at King's Dominion. Cs- and I ended up going along with a friend of ours. Earlier the day, we went to iHop and just ate there since I didn't feel like making one really what has become a staple weekend breakfast: fried eggs (always sunny side up for me), sausage, pancakes and juice.
After breakfast, we stopped by Barnes and Noble while we were waiting for our friend so that we can go to Ikea. We had to go get a chair changed since one of it's parts wasn't the right one, and to return a little cabinet we were going to try to use as a nightstand.
After that, we just went back to the house and played Wii for a bit which by the way is amazing! It is real fun to play! Like I mentioned, it was Gay Days over at King's Dominion. We got there around 8 and stayed 'til 1 am. I tried a bunch of rides and I came to a realization that roller coasters and such aren't my thing. Of course, I gave it a chance but it's not for me. I got on the rides: Shockwave, Drop Zone (which I just found out today was the largest drop ride in the US), and Rebel Yell where we rode backwards the whole time. Most of these rides, I just kept my eyes shut. What did me in was the Tomb Raider: Firefall. After the ride, I had to rush out since I had to throw up. It had us dangling head first, and it just was spinning us upside down. We were gonna go ride the Volcano but the Tomb Raider was the last for me, possibly ever. I can say I've tried rides but it doesn't do anything for me, and there's nothing wrong with it.
Sunday, we mostly hang around the house and did some cleaning. I was supposed to go see my mom but ended up not going since I didn't wake up 'til 11. Of course, she wasn't too happy which she let known during our phone conversation which ended up lasting for an hour and a half. I get hurt with some of the things she says sometimes, but I'm trying to be understanding. She gets upset when I don't visit, but when I do, she ends up taking out her frustrations on me which can be rough. To make it up, I went and visited her for a few hours last Tuesday. We had a great time, walked around Target and took her shopping for some winter clothes. It was nice, we were laughing and everything walking around the store just like the old days. I try to always tell her that eventhough things aren't completely like they used to be, that doesn't mean I love her a little less. I might have said that it was less because some of the things she said really stung. Somehow me being gay comes up and every issue that they're having with me stems from the fact. But anyway, she even helped me pick out some things to put on the wall since ours is bare right now. But will see how it'll look though, since the decorations have gold frames and our furnitures are all black brown which by the way are a bitch to keep clean. Dusts just appear everyday!!!
Wednesday, just went home and made spaghetti with Ikea meatballs which is awesome. Well my cooking too *grins Just watched Kathy Griffin's dvd and that's about it. After that, and watching some My Name Is Earl, Cs- and I both passed out by 8:30. Woke up at 11:30, put the food on the fridge and ended up staying awake 'til about 2 or 3. Just reread a book about the Spice Girls. Yay, I'm excited. Oct 1's coming up, and I better get a ticket, I pray to God and the heavens above.
Thursday, Cs- and I got to see Resident Evil Extinction. I got tickets for a free screening. For those of you who live in major cities, lookie here to see if they have your city listed. It was a good movie, I thought. There was a scene where it's not supposed to be funny but people started laughing. I giggled which I tend to do when folks around me laugh. It was entertaining. I was starving since we didn't get to eat beforehand so just went to McDonald's. Got my order wrong, but am not one to make a fuss and we were home already anyways so just ate it. Had a hot fudge sundae. Heaven! And tried watching My Name Is Earl but ended up laying in bed and passing out in no time.
Today, 34 more mins before I go. Not sure what we're doing yet. Maybe go see the Bodies Exhibit tomorrow. I can just stay home and I'll be alright but the others won't (T_T) I never got to write about it but we went to Baltimore and loved it. The atmosphere was just so nice. We walked around the Harborplace and checked out some stores, ate at The Cheesecake Factory (my first time) and watched a live concert. The concert was lovely, people of all ages were just singing and dancing along. The kids were just so cute dancing, some even doing Beyonce moves. The vibe was just great. Definitely a night I'll never forget.
After breakfast, we stopped by Barnes and Noble while we were waiting for our friend so that we can go to Ikea. We had to go get a chair changed since one of it's parts wasn't the right one, and to return a little cabinet we were going to try to use as a nightstand.
After that, we just went back to the house and played Wii for a bit which by the way is amazing! It is real fun to play! Like I mentioned, it was Gay Days over at King's Dominion. We got there around 8 and stayed 'til 1 am. I tried a bunch of rides and I came to a realization that roller coasters and such aren't my thing. Of course, I gave it a chance but it's not for me. I got on the rides: Shockwave, Drop Zone (which I just found out today was the largest drop ride in the US), and Rebel Yell where we rode backwards the whole time. Most of these rides, I just kept my eyes shut. What did me in was the Tomb Raider: Firefall. After the ride, I had to rush out since I had to throw up. It had us dangling head first, and it just was spinning us upside down. We were gonna go ride the Volcano but the Tomb Raider was the last for me, possibly ever. I can say I've tried rides but it doesn't do anything for me, and there's nothing wrong with it.
Sunday, we mostly hang around the house and did some cleaning. I was supposed to go see my mom but ended up not going since I didn't wake up 'til 11. Of course, she wasn't too happy which she let known during our phone conversation which ended up lasting for an hour and a half. I get hurt with some of the things she says sometimes, but I'm trying to be understanding. She gets upset when I don't visit, but when I do, she ends up taking out her frustrations on me which can be rough. To make it up, I went and visited her for a few hours last Tuesday. We had a great time, walked around Target and took her shopping for some winter clothes. It was nice, we were laughing and everything walking around the store just like the old days. I try to always tell her that eventhough things aren't completely like they used to be, that doesn't mean I love her a little less. I might have said that it was less because some of the things she said really stung. Somehow me being gay comes up and every issue that they're having with me stems from the fact. But anyway, she even helped me pick out some things to put on the wall since ours is bare right now. But will see how it'll look though, since the decorations have gold frames and our furnitures are all black brown which by the way are a bitch to keep clean. Dusts just appear everyday!!!
Wednesday, just went home and made spaghetti with Ikea meatballs which is awesome. Well my cooking too *grins Just watched Kathy Griffin's dvd and that's about it. After that, and watching some My Name Is Earl, Cs- and I both passed out by 8:30. Woke up at 11:30, put the food on the fridge and ended up staying awake 'til about 2 or 3. Just reread a book about the Spice Girls. Yay, I'm excited. Oct 1's coming up, and I better get a ticket, I pray to God and the heavens above.
Thursday, Cs- and I got to see Resident Evil Extinction. I got tickets for a free screening. For those of you who live in major cities, lookie here to see if they have your city listed. It was a good movie, I thought. There was a scene where it's not supposed to be funny but people started laughing. I giggled which I tend to do when folks around me laugh. It was entertaining. I was starving since we didn't get to eat beforehand so just went to McDonald's. Got my order wrong, but am not one to make a fuss and we were home already anyways so just ate it. Had a hot fudge sundae. Heaven! And tried watching My Name Is Earl but ended up laying in bed and passing out in no time.
Today, 34 more mins before I go. Not sure what we're doing yet. Maybe go see the Bodies Exhibit tomorrow. I can just stay home and I'll be alright but the others won't (T_T) I never got to write about it but we went to Baltimore and loved it. The atmosphere was just so nice. We walked around the Harborplace and checked out some stores, ate at The Cheesecake Factory (my first time) and watched a live concert. The concert was lovely, people of all ages were just singing and dancing along. The kids were just so cute dancing, some even doing Beyonce moves. The vibe was just great. Definitely a night I'll never forget.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
It's the craaabshack
The bf's actually out of town since he's attending a training for his new job. He's only in Rockville though which is 30 minutes away. The company paid for their lodging since it's a training for new employees from different regions. Dropped him off Sunday night, and managed to get lost on my way home. I ended up going through Georgetown and Dupont Circle before finally getting home. Didn't fall asleep 'til about 1 am, just thinking about things. How I've fucked up mostly in the almost three months we've been together. I say some things sometimes without first thinking it through, hurting him in the process. Not usually directed to him but things I say to other people when I get flirty.
Our weekend was good for the most part. We just lounged around the house 'til about 4 Saturday and stepped out to go to Outback since he's never been before. It was nice, we were there for a good two - three hours just sitting and talking. Touching up on when we met for the first time, things we've gone through in the past few months that sometimes it feels we've been together for a lifetime. I got close to giving up actually, twice and I guess I do get scared in a way and rather than going through the hard stuff, I tried to leave and just not deal with whatever was going on. It just seems like it was too early for us to have gone through the things we did. I'll admit I do have issues I'm dealing with, and I sense there's a change where I'm not quite who I used to be in a way. Maybe one day I can put it into words what I'm trying to say.
Sunday, we went to the Outdoor festival at Adams Morgan which was really fun. Street vendors, music playing, dancing and some art sellers. It was nice, I even ran into a friend unexpectedly which was funny. I texted her saying I'm at the festival as well. It was a few blocks at least, and I sorta didn't think I'd run into her and yet when we were going towards the end of the street, who would I see walking right past me!!? We spoke for a bit, and I introduced Cs- to her and her bf and vice versa. I didn't say bf though. We've never talked about it so it's never come up that I'm gay but she might be able to put two and two together. If she asks, I'd tell her but otherwise there just haven't been a reason to tell her. I've only seen her a few times since December and yet we've kept in contact at least.
Like I mentioned, the Cs- is in Rockville and I ended up making my way there to bring him some tee-shirts since he had business clothes but not regular ones to just relax in. At first, I was a bit upset since I sorta had the mindset that I wasn't going to be doing ANYTHING, not one thing. I could have seen my mom but I didn't since I needed some alone time. While at the house, was listening to Annie Lennox and seeing her perform No More I Love You's, got me crying a bit. Some songs just do that to me. So I took a shower and made my way to Rockville. During the drive though, listened to more upbeat songs so that changed my mood. That, and texting back and forth to my friend Jim who's in Florida. He makes me laugh.
I got to Gaithersburg where they went for dinner, and met up with Cs- at Joe's Crabshack. At first, I was just gonna drop his things off and drive right back but he said how I should stop by and have a drink or something at least. I ended up saying yes since it really couldn't hurt if I do. I was a bit nervous since he had a guy and a girl from training with him, Dg- and Cml-. After a while though, I eased up and got into the conversations. The first thing they told me upon sitting down at the table was that they were talking about me, and in my head I just went "Oh shit." Somehow when I hear that, I automatically assume bad things were said about me which actually isn't the case. We sat there and just talked about random things. Cs- is good in steering the convo, and I guess when I ease up, I do okay. It was fun, we talked abou relationships, work, commercials, and the wonders of iPhone which by the way is amazing. I might give in eventually but right now, I'm alright with the phone I got. I was saying how us four should get together again even when they start their jobs which will be nice. Cs- later told me they thought I was a cool guy so glad about that. He told them that I told him they were fun and that we should hang out. Yay :)
After eating, we just went back to the hotel and talked while sorta watching Food Network. I stayed 'til about 9:30 pm since I wanted to go get some rest. Bid goodnight, and ended up sitting in the car with Cs- and just talked for a bit. Drove home, that if after managing to get lost and freaking out a bit since the gas was close to running empty. I made it home though whew and really didn't get to clean like I was kinda hoping to do. It was a good day over all and am glad how it ended on a good note.
Oh, I also got some prints of pictures when we stayed overnight by a bay in California back in 2003 when I just joined the Air Force. I took a week off to try to get my license but of course, I didn't :P It was my first time getting to have roasted marshmallows. The pictures just make me smile, and with some it made me say Wow, I really look like my dad since I really don't think we do, despite of being told otherwise by just about every people we've met.
Well, I went over my lunchtime by half an hour hehe. Toodles and have a good Tuesday!
Our weekend was good for the most part. We just lounged around the house 'til about 4 Saturday and stepped out to go to Outback since he's never been before. It was nice, we were there for a good two - three hours just sitting and talking. Touching up on when we met for the first time, things we've gone through in the past few months that sometimes it feels we've been together for a lifetime. I got close to giving up actually, twice and I guess I do get scared in a way and rather than going through the hard stuff, I tried to leave and just not deal with whatever was going on. It just seems like it was too early for us to have gone through the things we did. I'll admit I do have issues I'm dealing with, and I sense there's a change where I'm not quite who I used to be in a way. Maybe one day I can put it into words what I'm trying to say.
Sunday, we went to the Outdoor festival at Adams Morgan which was really fun. Street vendors, music playing, dancing and some art sellers. It was nice, I even ran into a friend unexpectedly which was funny. I texted her saying I'm at the festival as well. It was a few blocks at least, and I sorta didn't think I'd run into her and yet when we were going towards the end of the street, who would I see walking right past me!!? We spoke for a bit, and I introduced Cs- to her and her bf and vice versa. I didn't say bf though. We've never talked about it so it's never come up that I'm gay but she might be able to put two and two together. If she asks, I'd tell her but otherwise there just haven't been a reason to tell her. I've only seen her a few times since December and yet we've kept in contact at least.
Like I mentioned, the Cs- is in Rockville and I ended up making my way there to bring him some tee-shirts since he had business clothes but not regular ones to just relax in. At first, I was a bit upset since I sorta had the mindset that I wasn't going to be doing ANYTHING, not one thing. I could have seen my mom but I didn't since I needed some alone time. While at the house, was listening to Annie Lennox and seeing her perform No More I Love You's, got me crying a bit. Some songs just do that to me. So I took a shower and made my way to Rockville. During the drive though, listened to more upbeat songs so that changed my mood. That, and texting back and forth to my friend Jim who's in Florida. He makes me laugh.
I got to Gaithersburg where they went for dinner, and met up with Cs- at Joe's Crabshack. At first, I was just gonna drop his things off and drive right back but he said how I should stop by and have a drink or something at least. I ended up saying yes since it really couldn't hurt if I do. I was a bit nervous since he had a guy and a girl from training with him, Dg- and Cml-. After a while though, I eased up and got into the conversations. The first thing they told me upon sitting down at the table was that they were talking about me, and in my head I just went "Oh shit." Somehow when I hear that, I automatically assume bad things were said about me which actually isn't the case. We sat there and just talked about random things. Cs- is good in steering the convo, and I guess when I ease up, I do okay. It was fun, we talked abou relationships, work, commercials, and the wonders of iPhone which by the way is amazing. I might give in eventually but right now, I'm alright with the phone I got. I was saying how us four should get together again even when they start their jobs which will be nice. Cs- later told me they thought I was a cool guy so glad about that. He told them that I told him they were fun and that we should hang out. Yay :)
After eating, we just went back to the hotel and talked while sorta watching Food Network. I stayed 'til about 9:30 pm since I wanted to go get some rest. Bid goodnight, and ended up sitting in the car with Cs- and just talked for a bit. Drove home, that if after managing to get lost and freaking out a bit since the gas was close to running empty. I made it home though whew and really didn't get to clean like I was kinda hoping to do. It was a good day over all and am glad how it ended on a good note.
Oh, I also got some prints of pictures when we stayed overnight by a bay in California back in 2003 when I just joined the Air Force. I took a week off to try to get my license but of course, I didn't :P It was my first time getting to have roasted marshmallows. The pictures just make me smile, and with some it made me say Wow, I really look like my dad since I really don't think we do, despite of being told otherwise by just about every people we've met.
Well, I went over my lunchtime by half an hour hehe. Toodles and have a good Tuesday!
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Catching up
Ok, I was midway through a post and I'm not sure what happened but it's all gone (T_T) I started it during my lunch break but now while installing a software on somebody's machine, I'll go ahead and post.
It's really been a mix these past few weeks so will just touch up on it briefly. Since the last post, I've been playing kickball on Sunday afternoon which has been really fun. It brings me back to when I was a kid and loved kickball every minute of it. Not having a care in the world even for a bit and just focus on the game. We haven't won any games yet but it's otayyy, I don't mind it really whether we win or not, coz at the end of the day, would it really matter? Maybe to some, but for me, it's all in the spirit of fun. I've met some pretty cool folks as well. Also after the games, we make our way out to a bar and go drinking. I've learned new things too, I never knew what beer pong and flip cup were, but now I do :D Been getting a bit buzzed on Sundays which isn't too bad since I really haven't been going out as much.
Mom's doing alright. She's adjusting more and more living in the US. It's been a bit hard for her since after being here for close to three months, she is yet to get a job. She's still waiting to get a SSN which should happen soon. She went to the SS office yesterday and just applied for a new one. Of course, she got found out that she applied for one back in June. She explained to the man the situation though, that she's never heard back from them and that it really shouldn't take that long to get one. After which, the man just went ahead and took her application and some documents to get her processed. She'll come back Friday and should get a number at least which she really needs to be able to do anything. I'm glad that she's finally gonna get it since she's been a bit down because of not being able to work which she wanted to do after getting here. With her not working, it also gives her too much time on her hands which kinda sucks so when idle, you tend to just think about things and brood over them. I feel bad sometimes, but ya know, I was telling her it's all part of moving to a new city or country even. It gets lonely since you're taken out of everything familiar and put into a completely different place, devoid of all things you've known and people you love. It does get better, sooner or later, you'll start to build a new life and find friends to care about. It takes a while sometimes but it happens, you just have to be patient and have faith. It was rough but it's all part of the process. Process of what, I can't tell you.
The bf has been great. He's what I was looking for in a boyfriend without realizing it. Someone sweet, smart, caring, has a good heard on his shoulders. Someone I can laugh with, goof off with, and dance around with and sing in the car with :D Time for me to go home. Rather than saving this for later, I'll go ahead and post so to be sure I can go back and finish it...
It's really been a mix these past few weeks so will just touch up on it briefly. Since the last post, I've been playing kickball on Sunday afternoon which has been really fun. It brings me back to when I was a kid and loved kickball every minute of it. Not having a care in the world even for a bit and just focus on the game. We haven't won any games yet but it's otayyy, I don't mind it really whether we win or not, coz at the end of the day, would it really matter? Maybe to some, but for me, it's all in the spirit of fun. I've met some pretty cool folks as well. Also after the games, we make our way out to a bar and go drinking. I've learned new things too, I never knew what beer pong and flip cup were, but now I do :D Been getting a bit buzzed on Sundays which isn't too bad since I really haven't been going out as much.
Mom's doing alright. She's adjusting more and more living in the US. It's been a bit hard for her since after being here for close to three months, she is yet to get a job. She's still waiting to get a SSN which should happen soon. She went to the SS office yesterday and just applied for a new one. Of course, she got found out that she applied for one back in June. She explained to the man the situation though, that she's never heard back from them and that it really shouldn't take that long to get one. After which, the man just went ahead and took her application and some documents to get her processed. She'll come back Friday and should get a number at least which she really needs to be able to do anything. I'm glad that she's finally gonna get it since she's been a bit down because of not being able to work which she wanted to do after getting here. With her not working, it also gives her too much time on her hands which kinda sucks so when idle, you tend to just think about things and brood over them. I feel bad sometimes, but ya know, I was telling her it's all part of moving to a new city or country even. It gets lonely since you're taken out of everything familiar and put into a completely different place, devoid of all things you've known and people you love. It does get better, sooner or later, you'll start to build a new life and find friends to care about. It takes a while sometimes but it happens, you just have to be patient and have faith. It was rough but it's all part of the process. Process of what, I can't tell you.
The bf has been great. He's what I was looking for in a boyfriend without realizing it. Someone sweet, smart, caring, has a good heard on his shoulders. Someone I can laugh with, goof off with, and dance around with and sing in the car with :D Time for me to go home. Rather than saving this for later, I'll go ahead and post so to be sure I can go back and finish it...
Friday, August 17, 2007
Don't forget to bring a towel!
Well, it's Friday so it's a bit quiet at least. I stumbled across the South Park Studio and made this. Wanna go get high!!?Thursday, August 16, 2007
Things That Bring Me Joy
- blast my favorite music
- wathching movie at the house with Cs
- having a home-made breakfast on Sundays
- snuggling in my blanket
- reading a good book
- drinking beer and munching on chips
- a compliment from someone
- when told I make people smile
- Cs- to go home to at the end of the day
- having my mom finally in the US
- when I don't have to think about what I'm making for dinner
- having Cs- rest his head on my arms when we're at the park
- singing along with Cs- when driving on the top of our lungs
- being comforted by silence
- talking to my family and friends on the phone
- reading up about my friends' lives
- meeting a blogger in person
- coldstone ice cream
- getting moved to tears by Rilkean Heart
- Spice Girls ( yea, yea, I admit to this)
- watching my fave shows on DVD ie. Strangers with Candy, Arrested Development, amongst others
- bloggers going to mine and actually commenting
- getting to live here in DC
- having a decent job and coworkers I love
- smiling at strangers
- when I look good hahaha!
- getting to see Keane in concert
- eating cookies and cream
- a kiss from Cs-
- Cs to hug when I feel a bit off
- being free to decide
- being loved despite of
- doing good for others and not be found out
- being alive, eventhough I get times where I'd prefer the alternative
- wathching movie at the house with Cs
- having a home-made breakfast on Sundays
- snuggling in my blanket
- reading a good book
- drinking beer and munching on chips
- a compliment from someone
- when told I make people smile
- Cs- to go home to at the end of the day
- having my mom finally in the US
- when I don't have to think about what I'm making for dinner
- having Cs- rest his head on my arms when we're at the park
- singing along with Cs- when driving on the top of our lungs
- being comforted by silence
- talking to my family and friends on the phone
- reading up about my friends' lives
- meeting a blogger in person
- coldstone ice cream
- getting moved to tears by Rilkean Heart
- Spice Girls ( yea, yea, I admit to this)
- watching my fave shows on DVD ie. Strangers with Candy, Arrested Development, amongst others
- bloggers going to mine and actually commenting
- getting to live here in DC
- having a decent job and coworkers I love
- smiling at strangers
- when I look good hahaha!
- getting to see Keane in concert
- eating cookies and cream
- a kiss from Cs-
- Cs to hug when I feel a bit off
- being free to decide
- being loved despite of
- doing good for others and not be found out
- being alive, eventhough I get times where I'd prefer the alternative
Good grief
It's been almost two months since my mom applied for her SSN, and we haven't received it yet. We came by the office and tried showing them that they have her green card showing she's eligible to work in the US. They said they'd have to wait from the Dept of Homeland Security and all we can do is wait. It kinda sucks since she started training at Shoppers this past Tuesday but today, when she went to attend another session, she was told they'd have to put it on hold until she gets her SSN. It sucks but nothing we can really do. And to think, she's all excited about working but now, I'm trying to find things for her to do. Volunteering at the most since she can't work period.
Aside from that, everything's been good otherwise. I'm improving on the opening up aspect with my loved ones. Last night, Cs- and I were just sitting on the couch talking. Had his head on my lap and just stroking his hair, and just talking with whatever comes to mind. Things that I've done, what my motivation was behind them, amongst other things.
I actually dozed off while we were watching Family Guy, then woke back up and then minutes later, mom called. I was gonna have her spend the night at our place, but she didn't get in 'til 7 pm after spending the day with some folks she met. They went to a church out in NW DC which I've never gone to but she said it is lovely. It's a basilica of some sort. Ended up being on the phone for three hours while I did the dishes, organized the fridge, and swept and mopped around the apartment. Touched up on a lot of things, family, homosexuality, change, acceptance, topics that just randomly come up in our heads. I've opened up enough to where I explained to her how hurt I was of some of her actions, and vice versa. I told her that the month of July was just awful that I'm glad it's over. It really was that two days before my birthday, I had to go behind a scaffolding and just cry it all out for a good 10 mins. God it was awful. It wasn't really something I wasn't blogging about it either so just having to holding it all in and having nowhere to run to, it all came rushing that one morning.
Things have gotten better and who knows what tomorrow will bring really. D-man, thanks for the grain of wisdom. I sure used that during the convo, telling my mom that I'm not responsible for her happiness :) I think she got it though that it comes down to her whether she chooses to be happy or not. From what I've read, it mentioned how one should strive to be happy, because if you wake up and you're not, there's something to be done about that. I don't think we were born into this world to endure pain and suffering, I know shit happens, but it's up to us to find things that bring us joy. Easier said than done but hey, we weren't born with a handbook.
That's about it really. Thinking of joining a kickball league on the weekends, just something to do and considering I missed playing the game. Ah, the good ole days. Playing kickball wearing flip flops, and at times when you miss kickingng the ball, it'll be the flip flop flying in the air, not the ball like it oughta. Oh De, where have you gone?
Aside from that, everything's been good otherwise. I'm improving on the opening up aspect with my loved ones. Last night, Cs- and I were just sitting on the couch talking. Had his head on my lap and just stroking his hair, and just talking with whatever comes to mind. Things that I've done, what my motivation was behind them, amongst other things.
I actually dozed off while we were watching Family Guy, then woke back up and then minutes later, mom called. I was gonna have her spend the night at our place, but she didn't get in 'til 7 pm after spending the day with some folks she met. They went to a church out in NW DC which I've never gone to but she said it is lovely. It's a basilica of some sort. Ended up being on the phone for three hours while I did the dishes, organized the fridge, and swept and mopped around the apartment. Touched up on a lot of things, family, homosexuality, change, acceptance, topics that just randomly come up in our heads. I've opened up enough to where I explained to her how hurt I was of some of her actions, and vice versa. I told her that the month of July was just awful that I'm glad it's over. It really was that two days before my birthday, I had to go behind a scaffolding and just cry it all out for a good 10 mins. God it was awful. It wasn't really something I wasn't blogging about it either so just having to holding it all in and having nowhere to run to, it all came rushing that one morning.
Things have gotten better and who knows what tomorrow will bring really. D-man, thanks for the grain of wisdom. I sure used that during the convo, telling my mom that I'm not responsible for her happiness :) I think she got it though that it comes down to her whether she chooses to be happy or not. From what I've read, it mentioned how one should strive to be happy, because if you wake up and you're not, there's something to be done about that. I don't think we were born into this world to endure pain and suffering, I know shit happens, but it's up to us to find things that bring us joy. Easier said than done but hey, we weren't born with a handbook.
That's about it really. Thinking of joining a kickball league on the weekends, just something to do and considering I missed playing the game. Ah, the good ole days. Playing kickball wearing flip flops, and at times when you miss kickingng the ball, it'll be the flip flop flying in the air, not the ball like it oughta. Oh De, where have you gone?
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