Sunday, November 19, 2006

Box of words

I have a box full worth of quotations, jokes, short stories and poems I've been meaning to put up on a website one day. It's what's helped me get through the days. Matt got me thinking this morning. It's been a while since I've looked at this box, and now that I was moving and and sorting through my things, trying to figure out what to toss or keep, I think I'm gonna keep this box after all. I always thought I'd be good at saying goodbyes, but who am I kidding, that's just something I'm not going to be good at. I did at work, when one of my coworker Charles, was gonna be gone for six weeks to attend some leadership school. It was the end of the day, and as we were walking towards our cars, I was wishing him luck in the class and to enjoy it. Yet, there I was after getting in my car, with a blurred vision since I had tears in my eyes. Can't help not to laugh as to how silly I get at times.

Or even when I was in the Philippines this past summer and it was a day or two before I was leaving. We had the prerequisite karaoke in the house :D and everybody was just having a grand ole time. I was singing Close to Heaven by Color Me Badd. I've known this song since I was in the elementary, and I guess it's my trademark song. It's what the family has me sing whenever we get together. So there I was, singing and I look over to my left and there was my aunt wiping away her tears. I just hugged her and kept on singing. Though when somebody else was singing, my emotions got the best of me and I went to the other room and had a good cry. It was of pure joy, of course. Sitting there thinking why days like this have to end!? My 2-yr old cousin saw me and just stood there looking at me. It's not like we can talk since I don't speak Norwegian, but he stayed for a little bit patting my legs. I started laughing, the same time crying if that makes sense. Anyway, there were some things said this past week that angered me a LOT. I've calmed down ever since but I guess I forget sometimes that they're not perfect, and neither am I. Yet, here I am smiling at this moment thinking of them. I'm aware that everybody's not as lucky, there are folks who doesn't even speak to their family, and for that I'm thankful it hasn't gotten to that point. I get close sometimes to doing so, but probably not. Don't you wish you can fire family!? Hahaha.

Here's one of them:

'I Wish You Enough'
What to say when you don't want to say good-bye.

I never really thought that I'd spend as much time in airports as I do. I don't know why. I always wanted to be famous and that would mean lots of travel. But I'm not famous, even though I do see more than my share of airports.

I love them and I hate them. I love them because of the people I get to watch. But the people are also the same reason I hate airports: They're all always saying "hello" and "good-bye." I have great difficulties with saying good-bye. Even as I write this, I am experiencing that pounding sensation in my heart. If I am watching such a scene in a movie, I am affected so much that I need to sit up and take a few deep breaths.

So, when faced with a challenge in my life, I have been known to go to our local airport and watch people say good-bye. I figure nothing that is happening to me at the time could be as bad as having to say good-bye. Watching people cling to each other, crying, and holding each other in that last embrace makes me appreciate what I have even more. Seeing them finally pull apart, extending their arms until the
tips of their fingers are the last to let go, is an image that stays in the forefront of my mind throughout the day.

On one of my recent business trips, when I arrived at the counter to
check in, the woman said, "How are you today?"
I replied, "I am missing my wife already and I haven't even said good-bye."
She then looked at my ticket and began to ask, "How long will you...
"Oh, my goodness, you will only be gone three days!"
We all laughed.

My problem was I still had to say good-bye. But I learn from good-bye moments, too.
Recently, I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her departure, and standing near the security gate they hugged and he said, "I love you. I wish you enough."

She in turn said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy."

They kissed and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there, I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?"

"Yes, I have," I replied.

Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing.

"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" I asked

"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral," he said.

"When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.'
May I ask what that means?"

He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone."
He paused for a moment and, looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more.

"When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them," he continued. Then, turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."

He then began to sob and walked away.

My friends, I wish you enough!

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