Since moving here in NoVa, I've been asked mostly by cashiers what i am. With some, I find it funny when they say they can tell by the eyes. The homeless lady, she cracked me up when she said it's because of my chinky eyes (I'm sure she didn't mean it in a bad way).
Last Monday, I got asked about where I was from twice at two different stores. The first one kinda argued about it with me coz I told her the Philippines. I mentioned that I grew up there though my dad is black. As if I wasn't aware, I don't look black she was insisting that I can't be from there since I'm black. I mentioned that I'm mixed and I think kinda offended her when I said I might look black, but I'm not. I guess to a point that might seem racist since some folks might think I'm disowning my blackness. But what can I do really? Granted I lived in Florida for two years, I feel like I'm lying when I say I was from there when I'm well aware that I just lived there. Sometimes I think I just should to just not deal with the questions. The second girl, she just accepted what I said, and even thanked me in Tagalog on my way out. Dunno what really prompted the question.
Even with ethnicity in questionnaires, I still have an issue checking off which. I can check off Asian but I really don't look like it, I can check off Black but I don't feel like I am one, if that makes sense. I'm not one more than the other. I used to think why couldn't have I just looked like the rest when growing up. It would have been easier, but being mixed, people kinda had a higher expectation of me, even my mom. You can't mess up, it's enough that you were left behind by a foreign father, you gotta do better. I used to feel like the picture, but not anymore.
I'm working the late shift since my coworker had a medical appointment to go to. Everybody pretty much left around 6, so I'm all by myself at the office. I like it like this sometimes, nobody but me so I come in 20 mins before my shift starts sometimes. I usually laugh it off as far as my race and whatnot, but just got to thinking about it tonight.
Not black enough to be black, not filipino enough for Filipino. I guess I can just be me, and that should be enough.
Last Monday, I got asked about where I was from twice at two different stores. The first one kinda argued about it with me coz I told her the Philippines. I mentioned that I grew up there though my dad is black. As if I wasn't aware, I don't look black she was insisting that I can't be from there since I'm black. I mentioned that I'm mixed and I think kinda offended her when I said I might look black, but I'm not. I guess to a point that might seem racist since some folks might think I'm disowning my blackness. But what can I do really? Granted I lived in Florida for two years, I feel like I'm lying when I say I was from there when I'm well aware that I just lived there. Sometimes I think I just should to just not deal with the questions. The second girl, she just accepted what I said, and even thanked me in Tagalog on my way out. Dunno what really prompted the question.
Even with ethnicity in questionnaires, I still have an issue checking off which. I can check off Asian but I really don't look like it, I can check off Black but I don't feel like I am one, if that makes sense. I'm not one more than the other. I used to think why couldn't have I just looked like the rest when growing up. It would have been easier, but being mixed, people kinda had a higher expectation of me, even my mom. You can't mess up, it's enough that you were left behind by a foreign father, you gotta do better. I used to feel like the picture, but not anymore.I'm working the late shift since my coworker had a medical appointment to go to. Everybody pretty much left around 6, so I'm all by myself at the office. I like it like this sometimes, nobody but me so I come in 20 mins before my shift starts sometimes. I usually laugh it off as far as my race and whatnot, but just got to thinking about it tonight.
Not black enough to be black, not filipino enough for Filipino. I guess I can just be me, and that should be enough.
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