I dunno what to do

Ten hours out of the shift and I pretty much is running out of things to do. I'm working back at the helpdesk though am not sure if working nights is really a good idea. I pretty much sit here and not do a whole lot since we barely get phone calls during the shift. It drags from time to time, like tonight and I really don't know what to do. I'm getting bored of reading stuff, as much as I enjoy reading, I just have no idea what to surf about.

Pretty much emailing back and forth with my friend through out the night so that made the shift a bit more fun. He left 10 months ago and we pretty much just been doing that this whole time, I dunno coz it must be real hard for him being all the way there and his fiancee here in Japan. Or perhaps, I just like the feeling that I'm needed. Nah, it works both ways. He enjoys "talking" back and forth as much as I do, and he's pretty much the only one I can talk to about things that bother me, especially with the family. It's usually the family that you turn to for any problems that you have, but if it's them that you are having troubles dealing with, who do you turn to really?

So that, we kinda got to talking about what I'm gonna be when I'm on leave (or vacation) I was considering going to London now, even for just about 2 weeks over the holidays. The ticket cost is pretty much cheap anywho, for about $600, I can fly to the UK from Colorado, and that is for a round trip ticket. At first, I was gonna do a hop in a few states but then again, why rush considering I'm moving to Virginia this January. Saw this one girl's blog and I got all excited since she was doing a road trip all over the states. I've always wanted to try that but with some things beyond my control back then, age, money, amongst others, I didn't get to do so. And now, i'm close to getting to do those things and yet it feels so far away.

I got to talking to my coworker about living in Japan and everything. We sorta focused on the loneliness that is hard to avoid when you're amongst the locals. How you go off base and out to the city to help brush off the loneliness that one feels from time to time. And yet, it just worsens since you just feel so out of place with all these people surrounding you, and yet not even one you can talk to or relate to. It's probably not the case but with the difference in appearance and the language barrier, it just makes it even harder. With me living off base, I've been getting that feeling more often since I really can't just step out down the hall and knock on a friend's door. Most people I've spoken would give their front teeth just to get to move to an apartment, and yet there I was thinking "it's not really that great." Maybe it's just me....

It feels like I just want the next five weeks to breeze by and finally get out of this place. Yet at the same time, as my departure would near, everything here will just seem too precious. From going to the "bento" to get a meal to have, to the convenience store to pay the bills. I could go on and on, but isn't that the case though? Things only seem precious when they are close to an end, whether it be a time spent with someone, moving to a different place, or getting a different job.

Isn't it crazy how people resurface back into your life? People you haven't spoken with for almost a year, and ooopsiee, there they are like nothing even happened. It's like WTF? and yet you really don't question them, as much as you'd want. You just go on talking like there wasn't even that gap in between. Happened with two people this past two days. I'm real glad though :D I've had more and more online friends than I ever did and I'm thankful for that. Well not always lol. I get jaded on some days and think what's the point of even having online friends. These are people you wouldn't even meet in a lifetime and yet you waste all these time on them. Yet, my heart always knows better. It makes me remember that behind that piece of metal are actual human beings just like me, who are "wasting their time" as much as I was. Ahh, the little prince story comes into play. Per the fox's words though it would have to be adjusted a little "It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."