Everybody's changing....

That's what I thought, but maybe it's me. Read this

A friend mentioned to do something good for your mom, no matter wherever she is. So did just that, though the most I can do is pick up the phone and call. I really didn't speak to her for long since I was just getting annoyed by her questions. How's this or that friend doing..Have you had dinner yet. Have you spoken to so and so lately, How's work, typical conversations between mother and son. I really was trying to be nice, just answering nicely to every questions, but seriously hearing those questions about drove me nuts. I'm not sure what's been happening, but there's just this whole shift of emotions I've been dealing with lately. I have to let this all out somehow, so hence here I am writing about this, writing as I go along with whatever comes to mind.

My mom was in my grandpa's house, so with that, my grandma, so is my aunt, my cousin and everybody else will be there. I spoke to them real briefly, the usual how are you, i'm fine, happy mother's day. Then called another aunt later on the day (well morning since Europe's ahead) and for a sec, I got close to being happy about calling them up, like I usually have been on different occasions. Guess last weekend wasn't one of those days. I called two other aunts, and was sorta glad it was the machine that picked up and with the last one, I think she was in a chatty mood but I wasn't so five minutes through, told her I'll go get some sleep since I'm tired now yawn. She probably felt that I was lying (which I was) since she hasn't called ever since. We're just starting to know each other. I'm sure it'll be real nice to develop a relationship with the other side of the family, but at times, I'm not sure if I'd be up for it. On my good days, I get all excited about that but get apathetic on some days and just think why even bother, things are just fine the way they are.
After I got to meet my dad's family the first time, it made me happy. It was one of those things that I can say I was dreaming of my whole life, what it was like to meet them, to actually interact in person, more than just letters and phone calls. I remember crying about it growing up, wondering if they even loved me, and if they actually cared that I existed somewhere in the world. Apparently they did, so I guess that's something though they never were there to back the claim up. I suppose I have conditions on how to be loved, but who doesn't really? I try not to but it's a bit hard. I can't say I love someone and just leave it at that. Not ever calling or writing them. I've gotten better at it, but it was hard, not picking up the phone, not calling my friends to see how they're doing. It happens though so guess that it's just part of life. I'm getting to a point where I'm okay with it, finally after being close to 23.

Getting back to last week, I had to take a promotion test on Monday eventhough I was off from work. It lasted for about 3 1/2 hours but it was kinda good in a sense since I got to talk to some guy I sorta knew, but not really. To learn about our job as a 3C... we have to go to what is called technical school which lasts for twelve weeks down at Biloxi, Mississippi. There's usually new batch of people coming in every week and I found out I arrived after he did two weeks prior. He looked familiar but I wasn't able to pinpoint from where so I just didn't say anything, but I guess that's good he initiated the conversation. It's not like we'll be hanging out or anything because of it, he just got tied down, errr married, two/three months ago and work in a different shop so yea...that was that.

I had an actual weekend off for a change so that was nice though I ended up not getting to come over to my friend's house since I slept through Friday night. I tried staying up during the day, but only managed 'til about 2 pm. So fell asleep, set the alarm for 6 pm, but didn't wake up til 3 am the next morning. Saturday,
I hang out with S (oh well, I'm naming names okay) over the weekend and he showed me around Williamsburg. That was the first time I actually did something touristy here in Virginia since arriving here months ago. I've been too lazy to go anywhere, unlike before where I got on the train pretty much every weekend back in Japan. I took some pictures as you'll see on that link so, I probably will be found. I actually put a picture, but got scared so took it down, put it up again, then down but here for those some who hasn't seen me. That pic was taken this time around last year, morning after spending the night out and about, staying at a capsule hotel which oughtta be tried at least once (I stayed twice)

Today (well Tuesday morning) my Speech class started and it's been good so far. I was having second thoughts about taking a class since we're still working 12 hrs, and I am on the night shift. So after getting off, I'd have to stay up for about three more hours. It's only for eight weeks so I should manage. The teacher's pretty funny, so that should help make the summer session go by. We actually got tricked this morning. The teacher was going to be a bit late since he got help up in traffic so 0830 rolls, and some guy walked in and mentioned that he's gonna be our new teacher, calling himself with a Yugoslavian name and everything. He went on, about how the previous teacher hasn't been performing up to the school's standards, etc etc and so him, being part of the board, decided it'll be best to let go of our teacher for good. It was a bit of a shock. He went on and told us his expectations for us students, and how he really wants us to do real good in learning, and so we'll be doing 16-18 speeches during the 8-week run of the class. You can just hear the sigh throughout the students, and we were probably thinking the same thing.. WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO!!!? I know I was, I was just like shit, why'd I even bother taking this class. Mannn, it's supposed to be easy, it's the summer session!!!

He told us a bit of his background, and it wasn't until he later let us on the fact that he's really our teacher, and just messing around the whole time. He's actually Brit, though he's been living in the US for quite sometime now. He's taught classes back in California as well. I just sat there amazed when he told us his background and that he has four degrees, four effing degrees!! That's awesome... I just need to figure out how he went about getting his. Working full time, and taking night classes? Going to school full time or what. So first day of class was good so far. I just need to come up with two topics by Thursday for an informative speech we'd have to give soon. Was thinking of doing Arrested Development and don't know what else yet. Guess I'll sleep on it and hopefully come up with something by tonight.