I heard from my cousin that my Grandpa on my mom's side has cancer. Of what? I did not know until tonight. I really didn't feel like talking, but my aunt called and left a message telling me to call my mama. The cell was right next to me when she rang, but since it was 'unknown' i decided to just let the voice mail pick up.
I was debating whether to call the Philippines, but I ended up doing so. But that was after trying to get through calling acellphone for about 30 minutes. Philippines has got to have one of the suckiest mobile services I've come across with, either it'll cut off or will say that the person you are trying to reach is out of the coverage area, so please try your call later. Well finally got through, after so much frustration I got close to just texting and telling them that I heard about what's going on, and sorry I couldn't speak with them since I can't get through. I was gonna say I just didn't have a phone card but that could be taken care of real easy.
It was my aunt that first picked up and the reception wasn't very clear so she handed the phone to my grandma who passed it on to my mom. It was my mom who told me to try calling the other number they have so that we can get a better reception. At first, I said just don't worry about it since I really didn't feel like knowing the 'details.' Not sure what changed my mind but went ahead and wrote down the new number, and called them right after. Cutting off my mom while she was telling me she loves me, and all the rest. Figured she will say it again anyways so what was the point of hearing it.
So dialled the new number that they gave me, though when it was a guy that picked up, I wasn't sure who it was for a second. It was my stepdad that picked up, the usual how you doin, fine thanks, here's your mom. Said the same thing to her, then after that I asked what exactly what was happening. I sorta have an idea of what it is, but elaborate please. She explained that yes, my grandpa has cancer indeed, and that it has spread through his lungs. I don't know if there's an English word for it, but she said that my grandpa has taning, limited time left. In his case, give or take six months the doctor told them. She wasn't crying or anything though, but then why would they be considering he's still alive. She mentioned how death is a part of life, so it's something to be accepted when it does happen. In a way, it would have been avoided in a sense since it was smoking that brought this upon my grandpa. He's been in some sort of medication when I left six years ago, yet he never actually quit smoking. Smoking, and taking medication at the same time so doubt that would have done him any good. My mom said my aunts are probably gonna fly home in a moment's notice if/when my grandpa dies. I have three aunts that are living abroad, one in Norway, one in Denmark and the other that lives down in Florida. My mom asked me if my cousin and I would do the same when the time comes, though I told her that I doubt I would be. It'll be a must for them since it's their parent, but not for me really since I'm only a grandson. My mom understood, though I have a feeling they'd still want us there when the time comes. I spoke to my grandma also, and she kinda joked about the situation, that they're just hanging around there waiting for him to pass away.
Ever since my cousin has told me about this last week, either it just hasn't sunk in or it's not getting to me as I thought it would if I learn of a family dying. It's my grandpa though, and there really isn't much I can say as far as a relationship between us. Me and my mom lived with him, so did my Aunt and her family (husband, three kids), my uncle and eventually his wife, and my adopted aunt and uncle. I really don't know much of my grandpa until I was about 6 or 7 yrs old when he finally retired from being a merchant marine and became a pensioner. All I can remember is that he drank a lot. He would get drunk and just start trouble around the house, yelling obscenities and calling people names and all. I really can't recall the exact period but it did happen a lot, that me and my mom would sometimes leave and just stay the night at the neighbor's or a relative's house. Sneak back to the house either when everyone's asleep or in the morning, just in time for me to get ready for school. Me being of a mixed race played a role too. Eventhough he never actually hurt me physically, just seeing what was happening or hearing the things said stays, even now that I've grown. I can say that I'm not angry anymore, yet I don't love him either. It's just that sense of respect I suppose since he's my grandfather after all..
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